BACK!

The trip was great, learnt a lot, saw a lot. =)
Is "honeymoon" all rosy and sweet? hehe, nah, there were the neon-light bits, the black-earth bits, the black n white bits, and yes, the rosy n sweet bits.
Thankful that i've quite learnt to live together with munch, quite gotten used to having company almost all of the time. Still gotta work on that personal space bit, coz i find myself rather unstill when i dun get my "alone" nights.
Thankful for the shared experiences with munch, seeing the different sides of him (hehe.. have any of YOU ever seen him frustrated??), seeing how he copes with the bitey, impatient, frustrated, tired me.... hehe... yeah, not roses, but totally important and precious.
Guess honeymoons are good for that. Getting to know the daily habits of each other, and working out kinks without the presence of external work stress. now that we've done that, now we can start learning to cope with WORK at the same time. =P
And... haiz, i was robbed of Christmas!!!! we left LA on Christmas eve morning, crossed the international time zone along the way, and reached tokyo on Christmas NIGHT. Cheater. but even if not, it would still have been one of the most meaningless christmas. No special present for jesus, no cosy friends-gathering to talk about jesus, no christmas service, no chance to invite dad n mum n people i care about to church with me.
*cry*
Well, it was nice to read about the parties the cg had, how fruitful n meaningful! it was nice to watch the clips by the drama team =)
Hmmmm... loud and clear message from God, that marriage is NEVER about just two persons. It feels so inadequate and wasteful being away for such a long trip, while exciting things which have eternal bearings are going on back home!
My resolution for the rest of my life: NEVER miss a church camp, NEVER miss Evangelistic Christmas Service/parties, and dun use up the ENTIRE holiday for a play-only trip.

Well, really wanna post the pics soon, but i have to get ready for school first!

Form class is 3E5. totally new class to me! looking forward. hehe. it's always so exciting to get a new form class. my 4th! wow... time flies.

Please pray for me that God'll minister to them through me, that they will be blessed - not by human wisdom, but by the Spirit, and that 2007 will be a fruitful year - in spite of many RESTRICTIONS *mumble mumble*.
But i know that when a word is spoken in the power of the Spirit, His work gets done. Ha! Yay!

"Last Words"

Leaving soon, gotta rush...

My two Dec 17 wishes:
1.
parents' salvation-dad to experience true joy, and mum to experience forgiveness and release of all bitterness.
2.
Breakthrough in spiritual climate & journey for everyone in church.

Trip objectives:
See, marvel, relax, play, experience.
Know God more, draw nearer.
Know Munch more, establish an edifying lifestyle together.
Refresh, recharge, get strength, love and inspiration for work in 2007.

we'll be back, our job here is not done yet.

if we don't make it back, rejoice with us coz we get to meet jesus first.
then please help to remind my parents to contact patrick for insurance, take care of them n tell them the joy of departing,
and inform school to find teachers to cover my classes.
=)
morbid? nay. just being prepared.
in adeline's words, "if anything happens to me, it means u haven't been praying for my safety."
so pray hor... i'm driving leh!

see ya'll
will post when i can. =)


weeeeeeeeeeeee! here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) =)

Because it has once worked...

long long ago, during Chinese lessons, LMJ once told us the story of "Shou Zhu Dai Tu". can't really remember but i THINK it was about a man who was supposed to go hunting for pigs, but was lazy, so he sat under the tree, and a silly bunny came hopping along and knocked into the tree and fainted, or got trapped by the tree roots... and so the man got himself a yummy rabbit stew without having to work.

So he thot, "hey this is great." and he sat under that tree the next few years, but it never happened again, so he starved to death. something like that. wait... it sounds a bit lame, it's probably wrong, but the idea's there.

Anyway.

isn't this what everyone tends to do?

"i prayed this way once, and felt God's presence, hence from now on, let's always sing these songs/ pray these words/ use this tone/ use this volume?"
"we tried this once with the kids, and they grew. so let's forever write materials/have no games, just bible study/ have lots of games/have tuition/visit them more"
"i asked God, and He told me exactly what to do, so from now on, i won't do anything without hearing directly from him."

there isn't a right and wrong i guess, just that different situations call for different strategy. but how do we decide the strategy? by experience? by waiting for a revelation?

personally i like to have that very certain word from God. i somehow NEED to know that the way i've chosen is exactly God's plan. coz i've seen and experienced that Man can plot and plan, but it's always God's plans that prevails. An ounce of favour from God is worth more than 10million man-hours.

So i prefer to hear first, then act. does that make me a ShouZhuDaiTu-er? sit around till the bunny comes again? what if it never does?

but no... the fable doesn't really apply to this, i suppose. God's not a silly bunny, and he did say he would reveal his plans to his friends, so i am certain he intends for me to know his heart.

but the truth is, sometimes i dun hear, sometimes i dun wait. like samuel at the 1st 2 calls, like King saul when samuel was late. lack of intimacy, hence lack of revelation? i admit. lack of faith, and hence kan-cheong? i admit. But i need to hear you. i dun wanna run ahead in anxiety when i hear no commands from you.

without intimacy with u, jesus, i am a mere human.
i dun like to see with my own eyes. gimme your eyes again please?

oh and today, for a moment, i felt a lack of closure, and a motherless-ness, a mentorless-ness.

God reminded me He's my teacher, and of the power of prayer.

Ha, what a great gift he's given me, the gift of intercession and prayer. i dun use it enough.
i will. the world will be a better place.


oh, and, yesterday had WAGHAB gathering with jean, sarah n hp.
happy for hp... haha, first time i see her n danny in non-church setting together, and i like it. i like the way he looks at her, i like the way he obviously love her to bits and treasure everything about her - every strange quirky hp trait!
HP... i approve 102% =) =) haaaaa, he's God-given, not like the 301 guys i kept trying to make you consider!!! go get married! remember we're supposed to have kids at the same time!

naivety, cynicism & idealism

Naivety believes that bubbles don't burst, castles in clouds exist, everyone is beautiful and kind.

Cynics see that bubbles burst, that cloud brings rain on the parade,that people can be mean, selfish and imperfect. And they give up on the world. They stop hoping coz in that way they don't get disappointed. They think they're wiser than others coz they've seen hardship. They laugh at the naive and the idealists - they are childish and foolish. It is easy to become a cynic, but i reckon it isn't easy BEING one.

Idealists have bubbles and beauty in their hearts, and with their eyes they may see troubles, pains and imperfections. But they are braver than cynics. they dare hope, they dare try, they dare pray. They have another pair of eyes that see beyond. They see Someone they trust beyond, and they can keep going because that hope never dies.

who are you?
who am i?

Autopilot Sux

I've been asked these questions about 547 times recently
"How do you feel? Excited?"
"How does it feel to be a married woman?"
"How's married life?"
"Are you very nervous?"

Actually i feel very normal...
strangely, no deep feelings at all, which is strange for a feeling person like me.

when i think back about the past week, the one main theme is actually my family.
i suppose when i stayed with them, i tended to take them for granted. the way i related to them was so "auto-pilot".

(eg. Mummy tends to tell every story 23 times, and complain abt likkhian not studying hard enough 4 times a day. So my auto-pilot way of avoiding that is to look busy each time i sense a story re-run coming.)

but when i actually moved out, everything feels different somehow. heh, it's true i guess, that we often dun treasure what we have till it's gone. in this case, not gone, but a little further.
The night after the wedding, when i came back to serangoon, i felt so homesick and depressed. weird. ONE night after moving out. i was ok staying in Hall for 3 years, i was ok living out of a backpack for 6 weeks in aussie, i loved chalets and holidays and camps, i never wanted those to end. but one night in serangoon and i was weeping. weird.
guess it's the emotions of moving on to a new phase in life... but having this new rawness in my feelings towards my family is good in a way... i learn to cherish every conversation i have with them, every meal i have with them. i love going back for dinner, i even love washing the dishes after dinner. i love the way my daddy assumes he's driving me around without me asking for it, i love the sweet n silly sms he sends me. i love my didi's silly smile, i love taking him n mummy out for lunch. i love seeing mummy choose food, and seeing her try to give us more food when actually secretly she liked the food herself. i love walking her to the bus stop, even though i had to listen to story-reruns while walking.
Suddenly all these nuggets of events feel like rubies and opals and peridots and pearls... =)

Reminds me of Click.

God says "Honour your parents."
Never let it be that one day i'd look back and regret the loving words i should have said but didn't, the simple pleasures i could have brought to them, but was too busy, the patience i should have shown but was too concerned with efficiency and productivity.

Autopilot sux. Dun let it rob you of living a considered, reflected, loving, tender life.

Wedding's Over, Marriage Begins!

enjoyed the day tremendously.... so thankful to God, to parents, to friends, to relatives.

amazed at how sweet and thoughtful and wonderful the people around me are.

i am grateful...

for the beautifully decorated place that natasha did up,

that we did not have to do any ancestor worship in the end,

for friends who would bother to put in so much effort to produce a skit,

for friends who would help in every way,

for gifts that are thoughtful, gifts that are sweet, and gifts that are generous,

for folks who would come and share the day with me,

for the people who bore with my distractedness, moodiness, messiness, and helped me tide through it all...

for people who gave up their own time and rest to do all these for us...

i am amazed.

=)

Miss

miss -–verb (used with object)

• to regret the absence or loss of: I miss you all dreadfully.

yesterday on the way to yuying, drove past one of em at the bus stop, must have been on the way to school for the geog paper at 2pm.

this morning received an sms from another "Yoyoyo miss yeo... ... Also enjoy your last day as miss yeo. The next time i see you, i need to adress you as mrs wong already..." =) ha... can just imagine him saying it. cute hor?

i miss them lae. wonder how they are. wonder if the papers have been good so far. wonder if they're nervous/distracted/troubled. wonder if they're tired. wonder if they'd remember to pray and get strength from God.

no wonder mothers are naggy. gosh. look at me.

miss -–noun

• a title of respect for an unmarried woman, conventionally prefixed to her name or to the name of that which she represents: Miss Mary Jones; Miss Sweden.

and yes... this IS the last day of me being "Miss". gosh.

miss -–verb

• to notice the absence or loss of

i'm missed too... in school. Haven't been back coz of invigilation, and Lloyd's been sms-ing me about NE stuff. *sigh* a teacher's work is never done.

No invigilation duties next monday and tuesday, guess will be going back to school then. just nice anyway... wed is poa paper.

Ok... now off to finalize seating arrangement, pack hotel-stayover bag, re-arrange room, buy prezzies for jairus n phoebe, buy card, munch's tie, get Scrubbed, do nails, and i'm set!

"La Tigre e La Neve", Vivocity, and i am happy

LA TIGRE E LA NEVE

Watched "La tigre e la neve" last night at vivocity.

nice, idealistic-type movie =)

at first found attilio such a loser- pathetic, geeky, despo, lustful - although his geekiness and humour is very endearing, and he seems to be a great lecturer.

but when i found that the "lust" was love, and the desperation was devotion and committment, wow, what a man.

Even his strange compulsion to strip into his pure white undies hanging off his skinny frame is forgiven.

VIVOCITY

nothing much wat... just another shopping mall. with REALLY bad maintenance service. i was really surprised at how badly maintained the toilets were. smeared seats, wet floors, many cubicles and sinks under repair, and even graffiti already.

sadly, it's true. we're a clean city only because we pay ppl to clean up. left on our own, every inch of our country will turn out to be like...my staffroom table.

but that aside, i enjoyed myself, and...

I AM HAPPY

some simple things i haven't done in such a long time.

Like...just shopping at a mall. It was a nice feeling, no worries, nothing pressing to do, not broke, feeling healthy, happy, no unhappiness with anyone in the world, no pressures, no fears. Just simply enjoying, yet not in the empty way, like i've gotta shop and splurge to drown my sorrows or gorge and watch movies to escape darkness and coldness.

it was the niceness of seeing things, walking and talking with munch, and we both aren't thinking about students' problems and school and lessons, and knowing that we have 2 months ahead to slowly enjoy life together like that.

it was the niceness of buying sweaters together, and trying out winter clothes together, imagining the fun times together, and, even if not fun, simply the times together.

And this morning i am happy too. when i went for my walk. i am happy to have the time to smell the fresh, cool morning air, the time to pray and talk to God about stuff, the time to get on the swing and feel the breeze in my hair, to make up names for dogs i meet along the way, to make up life-stories for the people i meet along the way.

i am happy. =)

Even in times of trouble, God's given me joy that sticks, and i am thankful.

And sometimes, there ain't no trouble, and everything is just peachy and i'm not in a rush, i feel happy, and i like that too! =) it's like the whipcream on an ultimate ice-blend.

过大礼 day

Today we had the Guo Da Li thingy.
Munch's aunts n uncle came over with the stuff- abalone, oranges, cakes etc etc etc, and ha, it was funny seeing the way daddy and mummy were so gan-cheong about everything. They even invited our relatives over to give them emotional support. hehe. they're very shy when it comes to anything to do with munch's family. so cute.
From a practical point of view, it was an inefficient use of time - preparing the stuff, sending them over, only to have the bulk of it returned, and own our part, learning how much to "return", hosting the guests etc. Yet there is something symbolic and sweet about everything. Much as i sometimes grouch about the amount of work that goes into a Chinese wedding, i must admit it IS meaningful and special when taken in the right spirit.
and i love the way my parents go through all the pains and trouble and effort to make sure they got things "right" for my sake. Heh.. though i tease them about being so excited over it, it really made me feel loved. it is a beautiful thing, that both munch's parents and my parents did not bother haggling over the "bride-price", but were always more concerned with pleasing the other party. and you know that it is so that we the children will not be put in a difficult position.

was reading through the significance of the stuff we've been doing - 提亲，过大礼... and found that the next "ceremony" in line was for me to "retreat into the cock loft".

from http://www.chcp.org/wedding.html

Retreating to the Cock Loft
In preparation for her impending departure, the bride-to-be retreated from the ordinary routine and lived in seclusion in a separate part of the house with her closest friends. During this period, the young women sang laments, mourning the bride’s separation from her family and cursing the go-between –; as well as the groom’s family and even the girl’s own parents. Since this extended ‘sleep over’ often took place in the cock loft, the bride’s emergence on her wedding day was sometimes referred to as "coming out of the cock loft."

HAiz. Actually i really feel a bit sad about leaving home. =( i love my daddy and my mummy and my kor kor and khian.
Daddy is my superman. I learnt the alphabets, spelling and times-table bouncing rythmatically on his tummy. he is the Champion Lizard-Cockroach-Any-Monster Buster. And he spoils me. =)
And i'll always ALWAYS remember how my mummy sacrifices her lifestye for the family. After a hard day of work, she rushed home straight after work, daily without fail, just to cook for us. She never took the easy way out of eating out, but makes sure the family gets our daily nutritious 菜鱼饭. And she did that faithfully till we all grew up and started staying out late and refused to come home for dinner. How to find a mother like that?
and my kor was my fav playmate. he defended me, bought xiao-ding-dang for me when i was punished, fought with others for me, played silly games with me =) =) went travelling with me... heee, he was my hero. he never hit me, never bullied me, and i think through our whole lives we probably quarrelled a grand total of 2 times.
my DiDi khian... such a dear. when he was a toddler, he crawled to me, lay a pillow on me and fell asleep on me so endearingly that i didn't want to wake him up despite my full bladder. Went through a weird and irritating stage when he was in primary school, but now, all grown up and thoughtful and cute and charming and funny and smart and polite. he's nice to talk to, and extremely lame at times, yet so sensible and endearing!
such a wonderful family. love them love them love them.

always took for granted that i'd be staying with them forever, now it's like a sudden, strange realization that time didn't stand still but actually moved! Can't believe that in 2 weeks' time i wouldn't be staying home anymore. can't imagine staying without them.
i think i will have separation anxiety...
i think i really need to retreat into the cock loft to mourn...
='(
except i won't be "cursing", but blessing them. For all the love that is in the family, for the committment every single one showed to the family. For the joy at every family dinner. For every beautiful memory - mooncake festivals at the rooftop, playing in the rain together, eating the warm pot of rice at the beach.
God, everything is so beautiful now... can time just stand still, so i can have both? the hope of a future with munch, and the pleasure and joy of enjoying my dearest family?

Wong

Countdown sez 14 days - that's 2 weeks later today!!!

Was sitting at the bus stop thinking about the word "Wong" (met munch's students at kovan and they called me mrs wong...?!?!?!?)

i decided it's a good surname, coz there are many Wongs that i like.
Wong Kaiyun, Wang Tiak Kweng (ok, officially not really a Wong) and of coz, Wong Mun Chung.

then i decided it's a funny word tho.
wong.
WONG.

really. concentrate on it, let it fill your mind.
it's a weird word rite!
juz like how sarah feels "cloud" is a weird word....

wong wong wong

morning already?

spent the night in tears. heart refined, sure of my burden and calling? i suppose. more so.

when i think about what i hoped to achieve for God, and failed, i feel sad.
but when i remember it's not the end, when i think about what God can achieve despite me, i feel glad.

i don't like learning difficult things, but it must be done. i don't enjoy persevering, but it must complete its work in me so that i can be mature and complete.

so learn i will, grow i shall.
and when i return, strengthened, i will run faster, jump higher.

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

isaiah 40:28-31

update 12:55 pm

crawled back upstairs, and God told me, not just isaiah 40:28-31. but Isaiah 40.

almost laughed thru the tears...

Comfort for God's People

Comfort, comfort my people,

says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,

and proclaim to her

that her hard service has been completed,

that her sin has been paid for,

that she has received from the LORD's hand

double for all her sins.

Her hard service has been completed?

hehe... amen to that. suddenly it matters that it is already morning.

and it's a hazeless morning. somehow that matters too.

has this season finally come to a close?

Somehow, these verses feel like a temporary "well-done-good-n-faithful".

somehow i feel a strange new life, like the burdens are lifted.

somehow there's a funny joy in my heart.

haha.

i feel like being an usher, i wanna be a happy cheery usher. welcome everybody into the church, hand out bulletins, smile.

i feel like playing the keyboard (but it's been moved to serangoon =( ), i wanna practise hard and re-learn, and i've never forgotten my life theme... "i was made to praise you, i was made to glorify your name....i was made for you".simple, unsophisticated, ungrand, but mine. i wanna sing my heart out on the keyboard, unlimited by my vocal range or lung stamina, or english vocab.

i feel like bugging uncle chua to start alpha!

i feel like loving everybody slowly and fully.

i feel joy.

i feel shiny happy.

i hope i'm not just mad from lack of sleep.

look out of the window, tell me it's a brand new hazeless morning.

First A Child of God

Countdown says 19 days.

Before this whole wedding thing started, i made a committment to live wisely, to number my days aright.

i told myself i would not get all hyped up about the "big day", living as if looking great and having everything run like a dream on THE DAY was all there is to life.
i told myself i would not just think and talk WEDDING all day long and ignore the lives of the people around me.
i told myself i would not be lured into thinking my world revolves around my wedding instead of around God and His pleasure.

along the way, i grew lax, and i felt the spirit checking me several times.
along the way, i sometimes grew too legalistic, and He checked me too.

Thankful for his grace, and for his love, that he would take every small teachable moment to speak to me.
For You, dearest Jesus, i want to finish these 19 days well.
i want to finish this race well.

A bride-to-be, a wife-to-be, a teacher, a worker, a daughter, a friend, a sister... But FIRST, a child of God, a friend of Jesus.

The Master Weaver

Last Sunday, i rejoiced.
Because God showed me again that He is the master weaver, and that the labour for Him is never in vain.
J was saved!
http://blessed-peephole.blogspot.com/2006/08/drop-in-sea.html

after reading the entry, See Yeong told me that he was actually quite close to him! once, he even took him to NUS to inspire him to study! Uncle See Yeong is the best! =) But because SY is currently stationed overseas, it was hard for him to reach out to J. i tried to link him up with some youth, but it was hard coz they didn't know each other, and it was left hanging like that... waiting...

but God is faithful, unforgetful and hard at work! Seeyeong came back to sg for the weekend, and by a series of god-orchestrated events - "Mom’s flight delayed – no atm card – make atm card at tampines – remembered kids in tampines – brought them to club at circuit road " , he met J!! And from there, he chatted with him and arranged to meet him for lunch the next day!

On Sunday afternoon, i received a call from my son collin. he told me that J went to Youth Service and got to know Jesus as Lord!! Wow!! and now my son is gonna mentor him =) *proud of you man!* 儿子作爸爸了！Take good care of him oki!!

And thank God for people like See Yeong! People who would truly care and love and reach out, and not treat kids and youths like "jobs"!

and it is such a personal message to me as well... just the day before, i was rather down and struggling with ministry issues, discouraged that i don't see fruits or growths... but thru this, i know...

1. true to His Word, "your labour in the Lord is never in vain."
2. we're not "called" to be great, to be the greatest harvester/sower/teacher, but we're called to be faithful, to be obedient, to love. Then God'll orchestrate the rest.
3. God's hand is at work - even when i am not aware.
4. we may sow, but God makes all things grow!

Four years... How they've grown!

they're special.

'nuff said.

and, no, nick, i wasn't tearing. it only looks that way. God gave me beautiful bright eyes. =)

toopid rinnai

"Works equally well for people who don't cook"

can't believe Rinnai! they even tracked down the exact model we bought and suan me publicly in adverts nationwide! What the?!? i cook show u ah!

they're serious about this...

Saw this last night .
Heard rumours (or facts?) that much of Singapore's lay-out is based on fengshui or freemasonry, and that the SGD1 coin was a ploy to put ba-gua's everywhere.
don't know how much of all that is true, but the popularity of all these is apparent. even in the everyday lives of folks i know - hanging crystals, mirrors, changing names, wearing shirts of a particular colour only, forsaking a child due to clashes in "8-digits" - just shows the popularity of the religion of Prosperity.

And you thought we were a secular state?

Random thots

8:50am - Word
i love God's word! amazed by how the illumination of a truth changes everything and makes everything right! amazed by how alive it is! (yes, another week of word-in-season, another week of feeling him near, knowing he's guiding and in-charge! WoOtZ! )
i love pastor tiak! very blessed by him. amazed by the way he teaches God's word, blessed by the way he teaches us with love and wisdom. He's my favourite pastor!=)

9:05am - Faith
faith. sure of what we hope for, certain of what we do not see. why do i not live every moment with purpose, knowing that everything in this world translates to treasures, ashes or judgement? it's coming, u noe? everyday should be like this: http://inspirations4you.blogspot.com/
not just in major decisions, not just in do-or-die, send-me-i'll-go events, but everyday, to be girded up and prepared. to be alert and self-controlled.

10:07am - Love
i like love. it's a beautiful thing. thanks chua for the present! i haven't used it yet, but i love it already, coz it's love =) very thoughtful leh you! =)

1:00pm - Beauty
Read today's Urban. Hmmm... i suppose everyone has their own idea of beauty. me? i like the healthy-looking Latins, hawaiian, indians.
Like Aishwarya Rai!

i like it that they are comfortable with not being reed-thin. But when i watched Mistress of Spice, she seems to have lost weight... hmmm, think she looked better last time.

of coz petite gals are pretty too: Kristin Kreuk!

...

...

but some girls wanna look like that...

thinking back... actually, there was a time in my life i wanted to be stick thin too. used to run 10km a day, about 5 times a week. Drink milo only, water, liquids only, no food. when i was trying to recover, i'd take one tau-sar-pau for the whole day n feel horrendously guilty and worried abt the calories of that one pau.

i never became stick-thin like the gal in the picture tho. i'm an endo-meso-morph, so i just get abs ;) . But thank God i didn't go on hating myself and my body. I was doing some bible study thingy with my ex-CGL Liling, and in one of the topics, i came across psalm 139.

For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I realized that God didn't make a mistake when he made me. I didn't have to starve myself to "correct a mistake" coz God created me wonderful, and he saw that i was made just the way he wanted! ofcoz, i still have to steward my body well and keep healthy la. but it was nice to be able to accept myself.

His love and word... so liberating!

=) I L I K E H IM ! ! ! =)

my beautiful staffroom table

Some schools have got L-shaped staff desks. Some have moved on to U-shaped desks.
Mine?
We're still at the I-shaped ones.

Therefore, it is not my fault that my desk looks like this:




Strangely, this phenomenon is only observed in my lorong.
we call it the curse of Lorong 2. I'm at unit 22. Units 20- 24 are affected.

Really. See!

the other tables in the staffroom look ok. it's just this lorong. that's why people say the grass is always greener on the other side. That's why Neighbour in Unit 21 has been doing work at other desks, returning to our lorong only to dump more nuclear waste.

Anyway, we can't reach the top of the pile while sitting down. we have to stand and mark if we wanna do any work here. which explains my well-developed errrr... leg muscles.

hmmm... shall check out my neighbours' legs when i get the chance. mabbe we've got the best legs in the whole staffroom.

I said I won't blog but...(part2)

...I didn't say i wouldn't tell lame jokes!

Lame joke 1
冰厨里有四粒鸡蛋。　
第一粒蛋跟第二粒打招呼，在和第三粒蛋作了朋友。
来到了第四粒蛋，　第一粒蛋发现这粒蛋长得有点不同，就问它：　
“这位鸡蛋朋友，你为什么长得毛毛的？”　
第四位鸡蛋不高兴地说：“Hello. 我是 kiwifruit 啦”

Lame joke 2
question: how much money do you need to go out?
answer: 四千万(i dunno how much that is...) because 没有事千万不要出门。

I said i won't blog, but...(part1)

=(
i know i'm slipping... there's a whiny complainer waiting to emerge.

hazeallergy.coverduty.ownduty.wedding. ha, i can so identify with martha. Don't you care, Lord, that i'm doing everything? why am i holding the fort for everyone when my own stuff's left undone? Don't you care that the work allocation's not very fair? Don't you care that i'm overworked and overwhelmed?

but like what chua said, i just have to get back to why i want to do this. Yeps. Do i want to opt out of any of these? No. I know why i am here. They ARE part of my purposes. They are part of my training, to make me fit to battle for Your kingdom. Anyway, everything is finishable. if they are not, then the world will simply have to deal with it. i'll just try my best.

just need you nearer and closer.
without you i'm just a mess. With you i am a blessed mess. ha. Can't wait to meet you tonight. =) Coz i know that after that, all the darkness will be gone. everything will be light and right.

Complete this i must!

To Do List.
Blue = completed.
Red = outstanding.

Until everything turns blue, i shall not blog/ go shopping/ read newspaper/ surf.

-Get invitation cards printed
- and sent out.
-Do RSVP
-Write Leaving Cert remarks for form class.
-Key in Prelim marks and Progress report remarks.
- Write up School NE Plan for next year and next 5 years
- Pray and seek God's plans about Kidz Club for rest of year, next year, and new outreach mission.
- Continue Marriage prep class. (Arranged for Wed)
- Mark Sec 3 Exam papers
3a1 P1
3a2P1
3e3P1 =
3e4P1 =
3e5P1 =
3a1 P2 =)
3a2P2 =(
3e3P2
3e4P2
3e5P2

- Booking mani-pedicures.
- Meet with wedding photographer
- pay for air-tix (Arranged for Friday)
- Book tokyo hostels/ car rental online
- plan travel route
- Exercise
- Call absentees to find out if they're diarrhoeaing/puking.
- Finalise Heritage Gallery Renovation
- Disseminate next year NE committee plans
- Get credit card extension for dinner
- meet hotel man to finalise stuff (Arranged for Thursday)
- contact studio to arrange for fitting/dad's suit

Looking forward to a BLUE NEW WORLD.

Urgent? Important?

Too much on my To-Do List!!!
So while in the loo juz now* ok...why wld anyone need to know this???*,

i tried to put all my tasks into the grids... (mentally la, there were no grids in the loo. and no, i do not bring in writing materials.)

urgent and important,

not urgent but important,

urgent but not important and

not urgent and not important.

Urgent and important:
-Get invitation cards printed and sent out.
-Do RSVP
-Write Leaving Cert remarks for form class.
-Key in Prelim marks and Progress report remarks.
- Write up School NE Plan for next year and next 5 years
- Pray and seek God's plans about Kidz Club for rest of year, next year, and new outreach mission.
- Complete Marriage prep.
- Mark Sec 3 Exam papers.

Urgent and not important:
- Food tasting tonight at hotel.
- Booking mani-pedicures.
- Meet with wedding photographer
- pay for air-tix

- Book tokyo hostels online =)

- plan travel route =)

Not urgent, Important:
- Exercise. one week has passed. the new MOH ads say we should exercise 5times a week for 30 min each time.

Not urgent, not important.
-blogging.

Guess what i'm doing now?
=(

My Own Beautiful People List!

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder aye?
When i was in Pri school, i thought miss tan cheh hia was the most beautiful person in the world. That's coz she was my favouritest teacher, kindest, sweetest! So i found her very beautiful...
When i grew up and looked at my old pics, i realized she wasn't what the world usually perceives as beautiful.
Actually, i think all children had perfect vision. they could see thru a person, right into the heart. So a kind person, a loving person looked beautiful regardless of their outer appearance. You can see it in kids- really young kids who haven't been tainted with TV and MTV and magazines. They naturally like kind, loving people. They can see that they are beautiful. Really beautiful.

But as we grew, somehow, our "eyesight" grew bad. We lost the ability to look into hearts, but started to look only at the exterior. Or maybe we didn't lose it. Maybe we just gained two different kinds of "eyesight"?

Anyway... my Beautiful People List - using BOTH kinds of eyes! in no particular order!

1. WKY - she loves God and people with all her heart! even when it hurts, even when it's hard. She's wise. She inspired me greatly, taught me much, and shaped my growth in so many ways!

2. Catherine Zeta Jones - okae, this is solely exterior. Wowed by her ever since Entrapment. Her face, body, and agility!

3. Huiping - sweet and kind heart, never seen any malice in her - EVER! - despite knowing her for more than a decade!

... ha, actually, now thinking about it, there are so many beautiful peeps in the world!

the list shall continue next time!

Be Safe, Little Ones

with the K2s, showing me their "brave face"

Below: their space shuttle - before take-off and after. the brown shreddy thing is the fire.

D has been with us since the first Taking It To the Streets at Circuit Road.

He is a precious child, very endearing, sweet, yet destructively mischievous.

When we first knew him, he was in Pri 2 (or 1?) He had a learning disability, (we think it's dyslexia). And, he had water-logged brain. He had to go for an operation, and he was frightened. I remember the Saturday before the operation, he kept coming up to me and telling me that he was going for operation, "maybe will die". After worship, all the kids prayed for him to have a safe operation and that he would not be scared. =) Later he said he knew that Jesus was with him.

When he believed in Jesus, he went home to tell his parents about Jesus. His mom came to know Jesus too. He even told his dad that he doesn't want to offer incense etc.

At HS, he set the toilet bin on fire. That was the period of time where we found out that "gangsters" had been making use of him, calling him "Big Brother" to make him feel accepted and cherished, making him their lookout when they committed crimes. We heard stories about fights. He got into trouble in school and home as well.

But he's someone who's really sincere when it comes to worship. you can tell, coz he can be angry and destructive before worship, but after that he'd be singing the songs long after worship ended, and once in a while just like... cheer for jesus..out of the blue... hard to explain...

Now that he's Primary 4, he still can't do the alphabets. When he comes for Kidz Club, we let him come to Gems instead of Blaze. Last Saturday, he looked strange when he got here. very tensed and angry. i spent some time with him during tuition and i realized the extent of his academic problems. no wonder yp was so worried! Yet he tried so hard. We spent an hour learning 6 words (from Psalm 119: Lord I give praise to you), using makeshift flash cards. and he really couldn't read at all! not even "to". but he kept at it, memorising the sequence of the phrase in order to remember the words. each time we got a word right, we celebrated, gave each other Hi5's, and sometimes he'd just clap spontaneously with joy, gleefully... like a child should! How dare those gangsters taint and make use of a child!

Later i asked him to draw pictures (hp and my secret plan: find out what he's good at and encourage him to excel in it), and after a picture, he secretly tried to write me a letter. ...

He read it to me, "To Teacher Shuyan. I Love You. From Derrick"

i love you too dearie.

If this is his reading standard now, he certainly cannot keep up with what the rest of his class is learning! Then, that'd just lead to restlessness, which leads to mischief, which leads to scolding by teacher, which leads to more retlessness, discouragements... is it any surprise that he hangs out with older boys who seem to accept him and give him "important jobs" to do?

and that's what i'm appalled by! have those guys no heart at all? He's a child for goodness sake! He's have enough difficulty coping with school, and later on in society, without you making use of him and leading him astray! Getting him into more trouble, making him go down THIS path before he's old enough to decide with wisdom!

God, you can keep him safe... let your wisdom guard his heart and mind. send your angels into his path. let him remember the joy of being safe in your presence, and never settle for anything else. give us the wisdom to know how to help him and love him. let him experience your love through us.

Dreams

Been dreaming the past 2 nights.

DREAM 1: Who am i marrying?

Saturday night, i dreamt it was less than a week to my wedding. As i was tying down details for my church wedding, i suddenly got cold feet. i was worried and panicky coz i felt that i didn't know my groom enough - which, strangely, wasn't munch!!! it was a malay guy, who looked like hady (weird! i'm not a fan at all!!!)
so in my anxiety and regretfulness, i tried to console myself, that well, it's kinda like a dream come true since i always had a soft spot for malays, and that at least i don't have to convert to islam (coz i was planning for the church wedding)
But i was still very anxious so i went to look for my mummy.

me Mum, i'm worried leh... actually i dun really know him very well.

mum How come you dunno him very well? Isn't he a nice person?

me I knew about a year ago, and he seems quite nice. So we decided to get married, then we've been so busy with other things and we didn't have time to meet up again, until the weding next week...

mum Then it's your own fault! Always so busy. Now so close to the wedding already, what do you expect me to do? Haiya, at least he's nice la!

me ya... he's nice, i think... at least those few times we met last year, i remember he was nice... but what if after we get too familiar, then he's not nice anymore?

mum ...

Seeing that my mummy wasn't gonna offer me any solutions nor comfort, i started to ponder how i got myself into this mess

...how could i have decided to marry him? ... yeah, he was quite nice... but i dun really know him... didn't i pray about it?... he is christian meh?.... but i don't feel that i like him!... so i just have to die-die commit to be faithful to him forever? ... is he my favourite guy?

Then while pondering, i suddenly realized... HEY! I'm NOT marrying him, i'm marrying munch! =)

Then i felt very relieved and happy and the dream ended.

my Conclusion:
think this must be because
1. i was watching "Full House" while marking the prelim papers. the 2 lead characters entered into a silly marriage contract.
2. the wedding's soooo close!!
3. idol finals was near (and why is that my business?? i dunno)



DREAM 2 (Sunday night)
I was taking students for learning journey or something. At this huge construction site place. Somehow had to run around coz there were BadGuys chasing us. Then i saw Sarah! she lost a lot of weight and looked very stressed. We hugged and she told me how tired she was, and i felt very sad that she's so stressed. then the dream ended.

my Conclusion:
1. i miss sarah and am worried about her.
2. maybe God wants me to pray for her more.
3. i was planning some NE things during the day.
4. I tried to watch Tom Yam Goong just before i slept (bt gave up coz i dun understand enuf Thai, and couldn't read the chinese subtitles fast enough)
5. i need to meet up with sarah soon!
6. i need to meet up with sarah soon!
7. i need to meet up with sarah soon!

"you have a great team!"

lloyd said that about about the ne comm.
huiping talked about that regarding the Kidz team.
it is true. the bulk of the ne commers are willing to go beyond the call of duty. they are great to work with, cooperative, fun.
and the kidz team - all i can say is that they are the best you can find. people who would think dream eat and sleep God, Kids and Ministry. People who are so faithful, even when the world crashes, they stay on. People who would take time to assess the club, come week after week, tolerate inefficiencies, because they love God and believe in this work. And people skilled by God in such a complementary way, that as a team we have a great gift-set. And people with such hearts that are full of love and foregiveness and grace, that after almost 7 years of working together, there is no resentment, bitterness, impatience. It is obvious we have been called together by God. It's obvious that God wants to do THINGS thru us.

but why aren't we soaring? there could be many things, but i realized one thing. i have not played MY part, my role properly. And if i don't, the body is less effective, not because of unwilling members, not for want of gifts and talents, but because with my apologetic and lazy leadership, i have set the ceiling for the team.

So enough of weak, apologetic leadership. Like what lloyd said, jesus wasn't an apologetic leader.
and i will stop looking to assess what is wrong, and what has fallen short of past glory, or who is mia, or who is down, or how hard things feel. i will pray and believe and ask, until his kingdom comes, his will be done. Until the Pentecost i have been yearning for comes, and dry bones come to life.
God, let us shine with your glory and for your glory.

Great Ways to Irritate people

1. Leave the copy machine set to “99 copies” and chide the unfortunate victim for wasting paper.
2. When you get your food at the canteen, peer at the food with a concerned look and keep telling the stall owner, “oh my goodness, it’s still moving.”
   
3. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
   
4. Reply to everything someone says with "in YOUR opinion" and a smirk.
   
5. Practice making fax and modem noises and pedestrian-crossing light noises.
   
6. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers/ newspaper and pass them to your boss/principal with a secretive look.
   
7. Make beeping noises when someone moves backwards, or walks too quickly.
   
8. Finish ALL your sentences with the words "write it down, it’s important.”
   
9. End a conversation by clamping your hands over your ears and making a high-pitch screech.
   
10. Call out random numbers while someone is counting.
    
11. Adjust your TV/ computer so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
    
12. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
    
13. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise. Challenge busy passersby to beat your record.
    
14. Pull out earphones from others and sample their music.
    
15. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
    
16. TYPEINUPPERCASEDONTLEAVESPACEANDDONTUSEPUNCTUATION.
    
17. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
    
18. In the middle of important meetings or conversations, repeat the following conversation a dozen times."DO YOU HEAR THAT?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
    
19. Skip, don't walk. Then pause suddenly in front of someone, point upwards with a gleeful grin. Repeat.
    
20. Ask people what gender they are.
    
21. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
    
22. Sit by the road, pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
    
23. Sing along at the musical. Try to see if your voice can overpower the lead singer.
    
24. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
    
    
25. At the exam hall, “Tsk” loudly whenever any one makes noises. (guess where this came from?)
    

More Ideas? Add a comment! =)

Mexico here i come! ( i hope...)

From Visite Mexico site...

CANCUN

Cancun is Mexico's most important tourist destination and one of the world's most well-known resorts. ...with average temperatures ranging between 27º C (81º F) and 35º C (95º F) and sunny days throughout most of the year. (GREAT! i won't freeze to death!)
Cancun offers the unparalleled beauty of the Caribbean Sea's turquoise-blue water and white-sand beaches. (Woo HOO!!!!!) During your stay, you can do water sports or other activities: snorkeling, scuba diving, (yeah! gotta replace license tho...) parachuting, (yayyyyy... SkyDiving!) or you can take a spin on a waverunner. You?ll also find plenty of time to relax and enjoy the fine services offered in the hotel zone. Along the hotel strip, which spans more than 30 kilometers (nearly 19 miles), you?ll find everything from villas and five-star hotels to exclusive resorts and spas =) . You?ll also find modern shopping malls, more than 500 restaurants offering the best in national and international cuisine, and numerous bars and discos where the parties =) rage all night long.

... Finally, you'll want to visit Isla Mujeres and Cozumel to live the unforgettable experience of snorkeling and scuba diving along the coral reefs. =)

On the downside, the reason why munch is reluctant...Shhhh... make small small, dun let him see.

"Crime in Mexico continues to be of concern to travellers, particularly in Mexico City and in beach resort areas. The incidence of violent crime and, more specifically, sexual crimes against women, is increasing. Taxi theft, armed theft, pickpocketing, purse snatching, credit-card fraud and ATM robbery are frequently reported. A spate of recent kidnappings have targeted travellers in the Nuevo Laredo region of northern Mexico." (lonely planet)

safety aside, i haven't really done the budget yet, so i dunno if we can afford mexico,($16k per person according to the article Chris gave me, but i can travel cheap and stay in cheapo hostels) ...

well... but if nothing else, PLAN B!!!

i'll settle for a weekend of partying at Tijuana!
First a stay in San Diego at this hostel
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/worldguide/destinations/north-america/usa/san-diego?poi=136275

and take their weekly trips to tijuana!
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/bluelist/index.cfm?fa=main.viewList&list_id=4360

i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico i'm going to mexico

Pearly, u wanna join me? =)

SMS-ing KY

SMS-ing KY is like Blogging.

You can pour out eveything you want,
And be quite sure that someone reads it.
You can never count on getting a reply,
But somehow you'll still feel better.

She must have prayed for me =)

as year end approaches, i'm reminded of how we used to dream together, pray together, sleep together, retreat together, cry together... and just as we get desperate, God shows us the plans for the kids.

will anyone do that with me this year? will God give me strategic wisdom? and all the skills and foresight that i lack? and help me back into passionate love again?
i feel weak, but he is strong. my wisdom is his foolishness.
and i won't let my inadequacies get in the way.

God, help me please?

God Told Me to Be An Alien.

In the midst of my unstillness, i heard a distinct word from God... Alien.
I know which passages He wanted me to look.

Peter 2:9-12
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Heb 11:13-16
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.


Indeed, i am not to live as if i belong to this world. i am an alien and stranger on this earth.
it is so easy to become so comfortable and at home with this world. It is so easy to get immersed in wedding preparations, with shopping, with hobbies, with trying to look good n looking at good-lookers.so easy to settle for sub-standard integrity. So easy to take offense and harbour grudge. So easy to pursue earthly goals. It's so easy to love money.
Perhaps God made me read these 2 passages to remind me to keep my focus right. was reminded of what tiak said.

Money is just like toilet paper in NS, it's important to have it, and in NS, it's like a precious, scarce commodity. But would it make sense for anyone to spend his enire 2 years in NS hoarding toilet paper? Collect a pile of it? No... of course not! Coz once the 2 years end, he enters a world that has plenty of toilet paper!

So this is why i don't need to hoard money in this life. Sometimes we may be so caught up with what everyone else is doing and just "follow suit". "They're trying to make as much money as they can? Well, i better do that too!"
But me, being no earthling, but an alien and stranger, will look forward to my country which is yet to come.
Not that people who make bigbucks are wrong, i believe God's called us all differently. this is just me. So D, KY, R etc etc... do continue making your big bucks and loving God wholeheartedly! i admire them, coz they are able to love God wholeheartedly, and even though they earn tons, it doesn't get to their head nor their heart.
But perhaps to me, money is potentially a trap, so i'd rather flee and keep loving God, then tempt myself and lose my salvation and relationship.
And i'd be lying if i say that i have permanently overcome my desires for money. Recently quite a few of my frens who left audit to become a teacher went back into audit again (bond ended, economy picking up. ha!). Actually, i enjoyed audit. it was interesting, and kinda fulfilled my childhood dream of suits-car-party-shenton way-big money. i liked the lifestyle - even during those weeks when i had to work overnight continuously (... coz i had a cute senior. ha! )
Then 2 days ago read that auditors were getting abt 4 month bonus this year and i did a calculation of how much i would have gotten if i didn't come into teaching... wah, just with the bonus, can pay for the entire wedding AND honeymoon to mexico AND california.
Tempting...
When i started to consider it, God said "check your heart, are you doing it in pursuit of pleasures and wealth?" I checked... the answer was yes. So the answer is NO. Not going back to audit. for now.

Well, i'm assured by God that i'll have enough toilet paper.
So, don't make money, then do what? Ha... without fail, every class i teach would ask me, "Cher, if auditors/ accountants can make so much money, then you be a teacher for what?"

I am Alien, see.
I have a country beyond this earth. I do things that will mean something in my Real Country.
Like loving people, loving Jesus, loving children. These make my King happy. So i'm gonna work on them, work on getting rid of the selfishness in my heart, work on improving myself so that i can love and help more people at the same time.
Is money important? Yes, and God knows i need it, so he promised to provide. and i have enough.

It's just toilet paper anyway. Next time.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Today is Lee Kuan Yew's Birthday.

More importantly,

today is KorKor's birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Kor!

(pic coming soon)

and yesterday was Mum&Dad's 29th Wedding Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary Daddy & Mummy!!!

Dad n Mum @ SaltWater

Dad n me, his princess/ little duck 4ever! He spoils me, and i love it!

Mum n I...

Amused by her funny advice, touched by her sacrificial love...

And...

Since we're talking about my family, how can i leave out my lil bro!

He's nice, has great character and personality, funny, fun,

smart, cute, great bod (check out his abs when u have the chance man!)

Lookin' a lil sad in this pic coz he didn't get wine... i forgot he was already 18...

Random nonsense...

Sure you're safe?

i live amongst people who believe they are going to heaven.
me too.
i read john bevere's latest book, and i was reminded that i need to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.
i can believe all i want that i am God's favourite. i can believe all i want that i'm gonna get to heaven no matter what.
but if they are not true, that's just self-deception, and it won't do me any good, no matter how earnestly i believe.

in the book he used an allegory, where 3 professing christians didn't make it.
one, Double life. He taught one thing but lived another. Kena worst judgement, coz he's a teacher and caused others to stumble.
two, Faint Heart. She was a true believer, but because of unforgiveness and bitterness, she drifted away from God. And when the day came, she was out. she actually LOST her salvation.
three, Deceived. He believed so much in "grace". He believed so much that whatever his sins, God would forgive him because of Love. So he practiced a sinful lifestyle. When the time came, he was out.

You know what's scary? They were all convinced they were going to heaven.
But this wrong assumption can be so costly. too costly. for eternity, it's hell, fire, worms, darkness, loneliness.
Can you imagine? I tried to imagine what i'd feel if like them, on judgement day, instead of hearing, "well done, good and faithful servant", i'm told,"away from me, you who practise evil". And that's judgement - not a test anymore, but judgement. Final. Decides rest of eternity. No time to "repent later"

A lot of horrible thoughts and fears came to me.
Confusion, lies, arrows...
While i can do nothing to earn salvation, but once given, i do have to work it out with fear and trembling.
who are those called sons of god? "as many as are led by the spirit of God". Not by sinful desires.
Holy spirit is given as deposit guaranteeing our inheritance - does it mean this deposit will never be forfeited? does it mean once saved always saved?
yet, to those who drove out demons, prophesied, healed with HS's power, yet at the last day, Jesus said to them, "i never knew you."
"evil-doers".
“grace”

i wanted to have faith, yet feared being deceived. i believe in grace, yet i know it can't be taken for granted. i wanted to feel the same security i always had, yet feared i was delusional. Some stupid southpark episode kept coming back to my mind, about how it was like a gamble choosing what to believe, and end up “mormon” was the correct bet… Mad.

then God prompted me to practise what i taught the children last saturday. when you hear lies in your minds, cover your ears and stop listening. And then He told me why the attacks came, why i could be "intimidated" by those lies.

Mind not renewed by the word, not illuminated by the spirit. Not keeping my armour on.

The kingdom of God, the gospel... these are things of the spirit. and if i persist in thinking thru all these with worldly wisdom, no wonder the fears would start.
And it's amazing how God again spoke to me about this thru yesterday's sermon
http://www.brighton.org.sg/
(go to "come hear our sermons" - 10 sept)
And thru His word, which answers EVERYTHING!
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=52&chapter=1&version=31
(read Romans)

And how do we beat Satan at his own game? Let God change everything to good. So for the fears that attacked me, i let them propel me to dig deep into God's word. and i resolved to let the Spirit illuminate truths that human wisdom can never understand.

To God:
I will be still before you and let your spirit bring understanding and truth and real comfort to me again. And let you search my heart and bring all sins to light. So that Jesus' holiness be manifested in me, and every trace of sinfulness get scrubbed off. So that i will have a pure heart that loves God.

Enemy:
Ha, want me to be scared? want me to give up on the race by telling me there's no hope at the end? that the goal is unattainable? that everything could well be in vain? HA! BAH to you! Fat hope. you'll never win me over.

i love jesus. My master is Jesus.
and while it's true my heart may go hard, my love may grow cold, i may still sin because i am still work-in-progress, i hereby eternally resolve to belong to jesus.
Forever.
And He HAS given me the strength to turn from wickedness.
And with his grace, i shall keep my heart eternally tender towards Him.

And what does this mean for me? i will work out my salvation with fear and trembling. i will not take his grace for granted. i will stay close and abide in him. i will spend time in the word so that i will not be deceived by false teachers.
just as importantly, i must be careful what i teach the kids. the sinners' prayer is not a magical chant that transports us from hell to heaven. they need to be disciples of jesus, truly follow Jesus, obey jesus.

And, this is long overdue.
There was someone who posted a comment, inviting me to visit a website that quotes verses from the bible and presents an evil god.
i understand where you are coming from. i understand that many christians may appear very delusional/ mad to you. i did take a brief look at the site, but truth is, the verses were taken out of context, and, with due respect to a fellow human, the author of the site doesn't know God, and has not yet understood the bible.
i appreciate your cordiality and would like to explain why i cannot approve the comment. it's not that i cannot tolerate a different viewpoint, but imagine this.
if your girlfriend has enemies, and someone set up a hate-site for her, and sends you a comment with a link to the site, i'm sure you won't approve it. in the same way, i couldn't approve it. not just because i disagree with what the site says, but also because i love God. i have a relationship with Him, an affection for Him.
So, more than intellectually disagreeing with the contents, i cannot be "objective" about my feelings for God, and link my site with a site that misrepresents Him.
But you are welcome to continue sharing your views with me! =)

Oscar and the Kurse of the Klutz

No papparazi, no taxable goody bags, but OSCAR NIGHT nevertheless! that's the theme of this year's teachers day dinner.
And it marked the start of THE MISS CONGENIALITY CURSE!

YESH YESH. Blame it all on Sandra Bullocks. During the teachers day dinner, i was given the Miss Congeniality "Award" for being smiley and the Klutzy Kurse kicked in the very next day.

We had to go for the Teachers Day Rally, and I left my Teachers' Day Rally Invitation card at home. Edwin n nora started saying, "hey, i've never noticed it about you before... but really hor, you are quite... errr... miss congeniality hor?" Agh. And they started joking about the miss congeniality curse. ok... it WAS quite funny. but so poor thing rite? only sharon pitied me and fed me some chocolates. =) so...i ended up spending $30 on cab rushing around looking for the silly card. And YES IT WAS PEAK HOUR. DARN. I'm gonna get sacked from SSCB...

Then i queued half an hour for the loo .. when there was another one in the Expo Hall! By then my colleagues were all seated in the audi... and somehow i couldn't find them when actually i walked RIGHT PAST them and they were calling me. (Aloy had to run to get me, and he asked "how come you couldn't see us? We were all calling you!" i sensed the amazement/exasperation in his voice) And the Miss Congeniality jokes continued.

After the rally, we had to walk to the bus and i walked as carefully as i could, watching out for all those knee-high barriers (see, they're out to get me!) and congratulating myself for not bumping into them, or tripping over the curbs in my platforms. Brainspeak * ha, think you're gonna get me again? no way man! i won't give em one more chance to mention the Miss Congeniality joke again!* And i kept my eyes on the ground all the time. Except for about 3 seconds. And i stepped into a puddle of water. And whadyaknow... the jokes started again.

Now i do NOT believe that curses will work on me. Hey, i claim every promise in Psalm 91! but just for that evening... it was Agh-ifying.

i've never considered myself a KLUTZ. i mean, i danced, wakeboarded, inline-skated and played hockey, and those aren't exactly for ppl with two left feet rite? So let me make that clear, I'm no Klutz! oh... ok...sometimes, i'm a klutz, but only once in a long long long while.

Ha, like almost walking into a bin on my first date with S.K.C.
Or when i almost fell down the stairs the first year i taught and ripped my fav purple skirt.
Or when i walked and my platforms forgot to follow my feet.
Or when i bumped into my computer tray in office and got bruises all over my thigh.
Oh, and that time at Orchard outside Wheelocks... gosh, THAT was embarrassing.

Hey... wait a minute................

D=

shoots!

Funny, Mature, Weird, Cute, Wise, Silly, Caring, Manly, Childish.. all at once.

wow.. they're gonna graduate soon. it's hard for me to put it in words, but they're special. heh.. when i hear complaints about them, i'm always surprised. perhaps it's just like how a mother always feels her kids are the cutest and bestest, and can never believe anything bad about them. to me they're lovable. Why?

• sometimes they sing. like... in the middle of class/ along the corridor/ anywhere. something triggers them off and they start a chorus together... ALL HAIL MK... ALL HAIL MK.. ALL HAIL MK... Weird rite?!
• they're more sensible now. sometimes (SOMETIMES) during poa lessons, when i see all of them so engaged in the questions, all trying so hard, and the only conversations they have are about the questions, i feel so proud of them. so grown-up rite? i wasn't so sensible when i was in sec school. it's hard to believe some of them used to break-dance in class/ refuse to sit down/ bully teachers...
• they're MEN. gosh, dun get the wrong idea, i have no weird interest in them. I once told them, babies do whatever they feel like doing, eat whenever they feel eating, but real men have learned to discipline themselves. i think most (some?) of them are men now! at least they stand smartly during assembly. and in spite of personal setbacks, problems etc, they still do their best to be responsible, strong. it must be tough sometimes, but still they try to cope and that's admirable.
• Caring.. i appreciate the way some of them carry heavy newspapers up to the 4th floor, run up and down without grumbling, offer to help me with my heavy bags, make friends with difficult ppl, ha, and even clean up puke. It's one thing to do it when asked, but these boys, they do it on their own accord, and it's wonderful, to see them grow and care for others.

Some are from my very first form class, and that's 3 years together! some of them are from the very first class i taught when i first started teaching. which means we've known each other for almost 4 years! In the words of one of them, they've "watched me grow up". Ha, it's true. I still remember sitting on the floor to teach a group of 6 students becoz the rest weren't interested in the lessons. =)

we've had conversations about aliens, God, shared about my love life (?!), their love lives, friends, sorrows, happiness, family, stress, girlfriends, church... i think that makes them more than just POA students to me.

Yeah, so for all the pay raise MOE can give us, or the additional manpower, or promotions, i think at the end of the day, what i really want is to see generations of youths living their lives well, becoming people of godly characters, people who will be a blessing to others, making a stand for truth and righteousness even where their previous generations have failed.
Though i wouldn't mind getting a pay raise or a promotion along with it... =)

Brightonites Alert!

The Devil's "Beatitudes"
"Blessed" are thoses who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians.
-- They are my best workers.

"Blessed" are those who think they can live without God's Word.
-- I can tell them whatever I please.

"Blessed" are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked.
-- I can use them.

"Blessed" are the touchy who stop going to church.
-- They are my missionaries.

"Blessed" are the trouble makers.
-- They shall be called my children.

"Blessed" are the complainers.
-- I am all ears to them.

"Blessed" are those who are bored with the pastors' mannerisms and mistakes.
-- For they get nothing out of their sermons.

"Blessed" is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church.
-- For he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

"Blessed" are those who gossip.
-- For they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

"Blessed" are those are easily offended.
-- For they will soon get angry and quit.

"Blessed"are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work.
-- For they are my helpers.

"Blessed" is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister.
-- For they shall be with me forever.

"Blessed" are you who, when you read this, think your're perfect and that this is about other people and not yourself.
-- I've got you too!

author unknown

=====================================================================================================

the sweetest of all!

how can it be, that just after i cry out to you for personal words, you amplify your voice to me and made sure i hear your voice thru so many different channels? C echoed my exact sentiments on friday during cg, and during prayer time, p somehow prayed an exact phrase that i said to you earlier...
haha, if i didn't know better, i would have thought THEY peeped into my heart, or eavesdropped on my prayers. But i know better, lord. and i know it is YOU who saw my heart, heard my heart, and was speaking to my heart.
You know how much it matters to me. and you let me have it. =) you didn't have to indulge me, but you did. thanks.
And how can it be, that just after i cry out to you for a personal moment with you, you gave me my fireside moments with you on saturday? and today during worship and sermon? you brought me close to your heart again, and everything fell into place again. nothing looked too hard, or too tiring, or too big. because you showed me again today who i am, who you are, and who i belong to.
wow... you didn't have to, but you did. you need not have indulged me. even if you hadn't, i WOULD still always be your servant, i WOULD still always be your child, i WOULD still honour and revere and worship you. But you stooped to deal with my needs, you bothered enough to care about my desire to be intimate with you, you bothered to speak thru ppl to let me know you hear me.
Ha.... with such sweet attentive love, how can i help but feel special ;) how can i help but feel especially loved?

[NOTE TO OTHER HUMANS: Dun worry, God's not finite like us. I may be His favourite, but somehow, so can you.]

When my world was in darkness,

you spoke your word,

night turned into day,

your beauty filled this place

When my world stood in silence,

you filled my heart

with songs that never end,

forever i will praise...

to think that the universe could not withold your glory,

but you chose to live in me... i'm so amazed!

and i worship you lord

my life in you restored

here is my heart

make it your sanctuary

for nobody else

but jesus only you!

********************************************************************************************************************************

love sick... Is it time for fire-side chairs yet?

Lost in you alone,

Is where i wanna be

To feel you near.

Softly in my ear,

You whisper words to me,

That i am yours..

Can't live a day without your presence,

closer to you i wanna be.

my heart cries out for more of you my lord,

my portion and hope

i close my eyes and feel you near,

there's nobody else who can take your place in my heart.

I can't sing to you now coz of my throat, but can you hear the song in my heart?
i miss you... i miss intimacy with you.

When i was afraid, i used to run to you. to hide, to cry, to vent. then you would show me yourself, and when i see your faithfulness, i knew i could go on.
When i was discouraged and weak, i ran to you. to complain, to "teh", sometimes throw tantrums... then you would show me visions, give me dreams, hopes. Sometimes your words of love would just send me into seventh heaven and i couldn't care less if the world sucked big time. you were enough.

it looked as if those were tough times, but when i had you near, everything was ok deep inside.

How long has it been since i last felt afraid? has it been so long that i mistakenly think i am strong enough on my own?
And have i grown so used to bearing burdens on my shoulders that they no longer send me scurrying to your arms? Have i learnt to toughen my shoulders so much that my heart has hardened as well?

Don't ever let it happen Lord! i want to grow to be a better servant and child. i want to be someone you can trust with your work and your church and your people. i want to be more effective in helping my students get your Best Blessing, i want to be able to make a great impact in the children's lives, and their families. i want to be able to lead the Kidz leaders with consistency and be dependable. i want to be able to cope with the uncertainties, and not have thoughts of giving up when discouraged. i want to be so in tune with you and your plans and be able to encourage the team and inspire them to live for you.

i am working on these lord... and i know you are molding me, refining, teaching me. and i am thankful.

but most of ALL.
MOST of ALL.
MOSTEST MOSTEST of ALL...

i simply need you.

i just want to sit with you, and have you tell me non-ministry things again. like i am your woman. make the verses come alive again by speaking them to me personally. make me smile the whole night n feel so much joy that i can't sleep.

i can't help needing you jesus. i was made for you.

can we have the turtle-dove, fireside chair season again soon?

Please?

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

22.08.2005!!

Hey! Just realized it was a year ago today!

pic with the flowers/flowers-in-law/associate flower.

He booked a chalet and asked me over to cook.
(me: huh?! Monday leh! Why you book a chalet?!)
So after buying some stuff, i went, and he has decorated the chalet with banners, tea lights and flower petals strewn around.
I was given strict orders not to go anywhere, but just stay in the kitchen and cook.
After a long-long-long-long while, it finally started. (he couldn't start earlier coz he was waiting for edwin to bring the extension wires)

First, he brought me to the living room (yeah, the BIG aloha chalet). On the petal-strewn table was a Home Decor magazine. Then he brought me up the stairs... the stairs was done up like some spa resort! Rose petals along the way, lighted up with tea lights in glass holders...

In the first room upstairs, there was a Bridal MAgazine on the bed, amidst the rose petals. And he said, "There's still one more room!"

We went to the last room... this time it was filled with pink balloons!
On the bed, were a HUGE bouquet of flowers (99 roses), another book (Before You Say I Do), and a BOX.


He went to the window and opened the curtains to reveal....
Flickering lights spelling out the words

"WILL YOU MARRY [his pic]"


Munch: OK, now you can open the box.

i opened the box and found.... NOTHING.

Munch: Haha, tricked you!

i rolled my eyes.

Then he went to behind the door where he made a pulley system. There was a little basket at the top corner of the room and with the pulley system, he drew the basket down and presented THE RING.

Then he got down on his knees, and popped THE QUESTION.

i told him i'd think about it. ;)

after saying yes, we went back down to cook again. I noticed the front door was open and went to close it....

but as i was nearing the door, streams of people started coming in! CG friends, church friends, st nicks frens, jc frens, long-lost fren... there was like close to 50 ppl!!

hehe,
so we had a party! =)

it was so fun. =) So sweet and well-planned, so much effort. And i was amazed that even though so many ppl were involved, NO ONE gave it away! (except for munch himself... not his fault tho...i just know him too well... )

And now, one year has passed!
81 Days to go before i become Mrs Wong!

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