I've been asked these questions about 547 times recently
"How do you feel? Excited?"
"How does it feel to be a married woman?"
"How's married life?"
"Are you very nervous?"
Actually i feel very normal...
strangely, no deep feelings at all, which is strange for a feeling person like me.
when i think back about the past week, the one main theme is actually my family.
i suppose when i stayed with them, i tended to take them for granted. the way i related to them was so "auto-pilot".
(eg. Mummy tends to tell every story 23 times, and complain abt likkhian not studying hard enough 4 times a day. So my auto-pilot way of avoiding that is to look busy each time i sense a story re-run coming.)
but when i actually moved out, everything feels different somehow. heh, it's true i guess, that we often dun treasure what we have till it's gone. in this case, not gone, but a little further.
The night after the wedding, when i came back to serangoon, i felt so homesick and depressed. weird. ONE night after moving out. i was ok staying in Hall for 3 years, i was ok living out of a backpack for 6 weeks in aussie, i loved chalets and holidays and camps, i never wanted those to end. but one night in serangoon and i was weeping. weird.
guess it's the emotions of moving on to a new phase in life... but having this new rawness in my feelings towards my family is good in a way... i learn to cherish every conversation i have with them, every meal i have with them. i love going back for dinner, i even love washing the dishes after dinner. i love the way my daddy assumes he's driving me around without me asking for it, i love the sweet n silly sms he sends me. i love my didi's silly smile, i love taking him n mummy out for lunch. i love seeing mummy choose food, and seeing her try to give us more food when actually secretly she liked the food herself. i love walking her to the bus stop, even though i had to listen to story-reruns while walking.
Suddenly all these nuggets of events feel like rubies and opals and peridots and pearls... =)
Reminds me of Click.
God says "Honour your parents."
Never let it be that one day i'd look back and regret the loving words i should have said but didn't, the simple pleasures i could have brought to them, but was too busy, the patience i should have shown but was too concerned with efficiency and productivity.
Autopilot sux. Dun let it rob you of living a considered, reflected, loving, tender life.
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