Sure you're safe?

i live amongst people who believe they are going to heaven.
me too.
i read john bevere's latest book, and i was reminded that i need to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.
i can believe all i want that i am God's favourite. i can believe all i want that i'm gonna get to heaven no matter what.
but if they are not true, that's just self-deception, and it won't do me any good, no matter how earnestly i believe.

in the book he used an allegory, where 3 professing christians didn't make it.
one, Double life. He taught one thing but lived another. Kena worst judgement, coz he's a teacher and caused others to stumble.
two, Faint Heart. She was a true believer, but because of unforgiveness and bitterness, she drifted away from God. And when the day came, she was out. she actually LOST her salvation.
three, Deceived. He believed so much in "grace". He believed so much that whatever his sins, God would forgive him because of Love. So he practiced a sinful lifestyle. When the time came, he was out.

You know what's scary? They were all convinced they were going to heaven.
But this wrong assumption can be so costly. too costly. for eternity, it's hell, fire, worms, darkness, loneliness.
Can you imagine? I tried to imagine what i'd feel if like them, on judgement day, instead of hearing, "well done, good and faithful servant", i'm told,"away from me, you who practise evil". And that's judgement - not a test anymore, but judgement. Final. Decides rest of eternity. No time to "repent later"

A lot of horrible thoughts and fears came to me.
Confusion, lies, arrows...
While i can do nothing to earn salvation, but once given, i do have to work it out with fear and trembling.
who are those called sons of god? "as many as are led by the spirit of God". Not by sinful desires.
Holy spirit is given as deposit guaranteeing our inheritance - does it mean this deposit will never be forfeited? does it mean once saved always saved?
yet, to those who drove out demons, prophesied, healed with HS's power, yet at the last day, Jesus said to them, "i never knew you."
"evil-doers".
“grace”

i wanted to have faith, yet feared being deceived. i believe in grace, yet i know it can't be taken for granted. i wanted to feel the same security i always had, yet feared i was delusional. Some stupid southpark episode kept coming back to my mind, about how it was like a gamble choosing what to believe, and end up “mormon” was the correct bet… Mad.

then God prompted me to practise what i taught the children last saturday. when you hear lies in your minds, cover your ears and stop listening. And then He told me why the attacks came, why i could be "intimidated" by those lies.

Mind not renewed by the word, not illuminated by the spirit. Not keeping my armour on.

The kingdom of God, the gospel... these are things of the spirit. and if i persist in thinking thru all these with worldly wisdom, no wonder the fears would start.
And it's amazing how God again spoke to me about this thru yesterday's sermon
http://www.brighton.org.sg/
(go to "come hear our sermons" - 10 sept)
And thru His word, which answers EVERYTHING!
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=52&chapter=1&version=31
(read Romans)

And how do we beat Satan at his own game? Let God change everything to good. So for the fears that attacked me, i let them propel me to dig deep into God's word. and i resolved to let the Spirit illuminate truths that human wisdom can never understand.

To God:
I will be still before you and let your spirit bring understanding and truth and real comfort to me again. And let you search my heart and bring all sins to light. So that Jesus' holiness be manifested in me, and every trace of sinfulness get scrubbed off. So that i will have a pure heart that loves God.

Enemy:
Ha, want me to be scared? want me to give up on the race by telling me there's no hope at the end? that the goal is unattainable? that everything could well be in vain? HA! BAH to you! Fat hope. you'll never win me over.

i love jesus. My master is Jesus.
and while it's true my heart may go hard, my love may grow cold, i may still sin because i am still work-in-progress, i hereby eternally resolve to belong to jesus.
Forever.
And He HAS given me the strength to turn from wickedness.
And with his grace, i shall keep my heart eternally tender towards Him.

And what does this mean for me? i will work out my salvation with fear and trembling. i will not take his grace for granted. i will stay close and abide in him. i will spend time in the word so that i will not be deceived by false teachers.
just as importantly, i must be careful what i teach the kids. the sinners' prayer is not a magical chant that transports us from hell to heaven. they need to be disciples of jesus, truly follow Jesus, obey jesus.

And, this is long overdue.
There was someone who posted a comment, inviting me to visit a website that quotes verses from the bible and presents an evil god.
i understand where you are coming from. i understand that many christians may appear very delusional/ mad to you. i did take a brief look at the site, but truth is, the verses were taken out of context, and, with due respect to a fellow human, the author of the site doesn't know God, and has not yet understood the bible.
i appreciate your cordiality and would like to explain why i cannot approve the comment. it's not that i cannot tolerate a different viewpoint, but imagine this.
if your girlfriend has enemies, and someone set up a hate-site for her, and sends you a comment with a link to the site, i'm sure you won't approve it. in the same way, i couldn't approve it. not just because i disagree with what the site says, but also because i love God. i have a relationship with Him, an affection for Him.
So, more than intellectually disagreeing with the contents, i cannot be "objective" about my feelings for God, and link my site with a site that misrepresents Him.
But you are welcome to continue sharing your views with me! =)