过大礼 day

Today we had the Guo Da Li thingy.
Munch's aunts n uncle came over with the stuff- abalone, oranges, cakes etc etc etc, and ha, it was funny seeing the way daddy and mummy were so gan-cheong about everything. They even invited our relatives over to give them emotional support. hehe. they're very shy when it comes to anything to do with munch's family. so cute.
From a practical point of view, it was an inefficient use of time - preparing the stuff, sending them over, only to have the bulk of it returned, and own our part, learning how much to "return", hosting the guests etc. Yet there is something symbolic and sweet about everything. Much as i sometimes grouch about the amount of work that goes into a Chinese wedding, i must admit it IS meaningful and special when taken in the right spirit.
and i love the way my parents go through all the pains and trouble and effort to make sure they got things "right" for my sake. Heh.. though i tease them about being so excited over it, it really made me feel loved. it is a beautiful thing, that both munch's parents and my parents did not bother haggling over the "bride-price", but were always more concerned with pleasing the other party. and you know that it is so that we the children will not be put in a difficult position.

was reading through the significance of the stuff we've been doing - 提亲，过大礼... and found that the next "ceremony" in line was for me to "retreat into the cock loft".

from http://www.chcp.org/wedding.html

Retreating to the Cock Loft
In preparation for her impending departure, the bride-to-be retreated from the ordinary routine and lived in seclusion in a separate part of the house with her closest friends. During this period, the young women sang laments, mourning the bride’s separation from her family and cursing the go-between –; as well as the groom’s family and even the girl’s own parents. Since this extended ‘sleep over’ often took place in the cock loft, the bride’s emergence on her wedding day was sometimes referred to as "coming out of the cock loft."

HAiz. Actually i really feel a bit sad about leaving home. =( i love my daddy and my mummy and my kor kor and khian.
Daddy is my superman. I learnt the alphabets, spelling and times-table bouncing rythmatically on his tummy. he is the Champion Lizard-Cockroach-Any-Monster Buster. And he spoils me. =)
And i'll always ALWAYS remember how my mummy sacrifices her lifestye for the family. After a hard day of work, she rushed home straight after work, daily without fail, just to cook for us. She never took the easy way out of eating out, but makes sure the family gets our daily nutritious 菜鱼饭. And she did that faithfully till we all grew up and started staying out late and refused to come home for dinner. How to find a mother like that?
and my kor was my fav playmate. he defended me, bought xiao-ding-dang for me when i was punished, fought with others for me, played silly games with me =) =) went travelling with me... heee, he was my hero. he never hit me, never bullied me, and i think through our whole lives we probably quarrelled a grand total of 2 times.
my DiDi khian... such a dear. when he was a toddler, he crawled to me, lay a pillow on me and fell asleep on me so endearingly that i didn't want to wake him up despite my full bladder. Went through a weird and irritating stage when he was in primary school, but now, all grown up and thoughtful and cute and charming and funny and smart and polite. he's nice to talk to, and extremely lame at times, yet so sensible and endearing!
such a wonderful family. love them love them love them.

always took for granted that i'd be staying with them forever, now it's like a sudden, strange realization that time didn't stand still but actually moved! Can't believe that in 2 weeks' time i wouldn't be staying home anymore. can't imagine staying without them.
i think i will have separation anxiety...
i think i really need to retreat into the cock loft to mourn...
='(
except i won't be "cursing", but blessing them. For all the love that is in the family, for the committment every single one showed to the family. For the joy at every family dinner. For every beautiful memory - mooncake festivals at the rooftop, playing in the rain together, eating the warm pot of rice at the beach.
God, everything is so beautiful now... can time just stand still, so i can have both? the hope of a future with munch, and the pleasure and joy of enjoying my dearest family?

Wong

Countdown sez 14 days - that's 2 weeks later today!!!

Was sitting at the bus stop thinking about the word "Wong" (met munch's students at kovan and they called me mrs wong...?!?!?!?)

i decided it's a good surname, coz there are many Wongs that i like.
Wong Kaiyun, Wang Tiak Kweng (ok, officially not really a Wong) and of coz, Wong Mun Chung.

then i decided it's a funny word tho.
wong.
WONG.

really. concentrate on it, let it fill your mind.
it's a weird word rite!
juz like how sarah feels "cloud" is a weird word....

wong wong wong

morning already?

spent the night in tears. heart refined, sure of my burden and calling? i suppose. more so.

when i think about what i hoped to achieve for God, and failed, i feel sad.
but when i remember it's not the end, when i think about what God can achieve despite me, i feel glad.

i don't like learning difficult things, but it must be done. i don't enjoy persevering, but it must complete its work in me so that i can be mature and complete.

so learn i will, grow i shall.
and when i return, strengthened, i will run faster, jump higher.

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

isaiah 40:28-31

update 12:55 pm

crawled back upstairs, and God told me, not just isaiah 40:28-31. but Isaiah 40.

almost laughed thru the tears...

Comfort for God's People

Comfort, comfort my people,

says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,

and proclaim to her

that her hard service has been completed,

that her sin has been paid for,

that she has received from the LORD's hand

double for all her sins.

Her hard service has been completed?

hehe... amen to that. suddenly it matters that it is already morning.

and it's a hazeless morning. somehow that matters too.

has this season finally come to a close?

Somehow, these verses feel like a temporary "well-done-good-n-faithful".

somehow i feel a strange new life, like the burdens are lifted.

somehow there's a funny joy in my heart.

haha.

i feel like being an usher, i wanna be a happy cheery usher. welcome everybody into the church, hand out bulletins, smile.

i feel like playing the keyboard (but it's been moved to serangoon =( ), i wanna practise hard and re-learn, and i've never forgotten my life theme... "i was made to praise you, i was made to glorify your name....i was made for you".simple, unsophisticated, ungrand, but mine. i wanna sing my heart out on the keyboard, unlimited by my vocal range or lung stamina, or english vocab.

i feel like bugging uncle chua to start alpha!

i feel like loving everybody slowly and fully.

i feel joy.

i feel shiny happy.

i hope i'm not just mad from lack of sleep.

look out of the window, tell me it's a brand new hazeless morning.

First A Child of God

Countdown says 19 days.

Before this whole wedding thing started, i made a committment to live wisely, to number my days aright.

i told myself i would not get all hyped up about the "big day", living as if looking great and having everything run like a dream on THE DAY was all there is to life.
i told myself i would not just think and talk WEDDING all day long and ignore the lives of the people around me.
i told myself i would not be lured into thinking my world revolves around my wedding instead of around God and His pleasure.

along the way, i grew lax, and i felt the spirit checking me several times.
along the way, i sometimes grew too legalistic, and He checked me too.

Thankful for his grace, and for his love, that he would take every small teachable moment to speak to me.
For You, dearest Jesus, i want to finish these 19 days well.
i want to finish this race well.

A bride-to-be, a wife-to-be, a teacher, a worker, a daughter, a friend, a sister... But FIRST, a child of God, a friend of Jesus.

The Master Weaver

Last Sunday, i rejoiced.
Because God showed me again that He is the master weaver, and that the labour for Him is never in vain.
J was saved!
http://blessed-peephole.blogspot.com/2006/08/drop-in-sea.html

after reading the entry, See Yeong told me that he was actually quite close to him! once, he even took him to NUS to inspire him to study! Uncle See Yeong is the best! =) But because SY is currently stationed overseas, it was hard for him to reach out to J. i tried to link him up with some youth, but it was hard coz they didn't know each other, and it was left hanging like that... waiting...

but God is faithful, unforgetful and hard at work! Seeyeong came back to sg for the weekend, and by a series of god-orchestrated events - "Mom’s flight delayed – no atm card – make atm card at tampines – remembered kids in tampines – brought them to club at circuit road " , he met J!! And from there, he chatted with him and arranged to meet him for lunch the next day!

On Sunday afternoon, i received a call from my son collin. he told me that J went to Youth Service and got to know Jesus as Lord!! Wow!! and now my son is gonna mentor him =) *proud of you man!* 儿子作爸爸了！Take good care of him oki!!

And thank God for people like See Yeong! People who would truly care and love and reach out, and not treat kids and youths like "jobs"!

and it is such a personal message to me as well... just the day before, i was rather down and struggling with ministry issues, discouraged that i don't see fruits or growths... but thru this, i know...

1. true to His Word, "your labour in the Lord is never in vain."
2. we're not "called" to be great, to be the greatest harvester/sower/teacher, but we're called to be faithful, to be obedient, to love. Then God'll orchestrate the rest.
3. God's hand is at work - even when i am not aware.
4. we may sow, but God makes all things grow!

Four years... How they've grown!

they're special.

'nuff said.

and, no, nick, i wasn't tearing. it only looks that way. God gave me beautiful bright eyes. =)

toopid rinnai

"Works equally well for people who don't cook"

can't believe Rinnai! they even tracked down the exact model we bought and suan me publicly in adverts nationwide! What the?!? i cook show u ah!

they're serious about this...

Saw this last night .
Heard rumours (or facts?) that much of Singapore's lay-out is based on fengshui or freemasonry, and that the SGD1 coin was a ploy to put ba-gua's everywhere.
don't know how much of all that is true, but the popularity of all these is apparent. even in the everyday lives of folks i know - hanging crystals, mirrors, changing names, wearing shirts of a particular colour only, forsaking a child due to clashes in "8-digits" - just shows the popularity of the religion of Prosperity.

And you thought we were a secular state?

Random thots

8:50am - Word
i love God's word! amazed by how the illumination of a truth changes everything and makes everything right! amazed by how alive it is! (yes, another week of word-in-season, another week of feeling him near, knowing he's guiding and in-charge! WoOtZ! )
i love pastor tiak! very blessed by him. amazed by the way he teaches God's word, blessed by the way he teaches us with love and wisdom. He's my favourite pastor!=)

9:05am - Faith
faith. sure of what we hope for, certain of what we do not see. why do i not live every moment with purpose, knowing that everything in this world translates to treasures, ashes or judgement? it's coming, u noe? everyday should be like this: http://inspirations4you.blogspot.com/
not just in major decisions, not just in do-or-die, send-me-i'll-go events, but everyday, to be girded up and prepared. to be alert and self-controlled.

10:07am - Love
i like love. it's a beautiful thing. thanks chua for the present! i haven't used it yet, but i love it already, coz it's love =) very thoughtful leh you! =)

1:00pm - Beauty
Read today's Urban. Hmmm... i suppose everyone has their own idea of beauty. me? i like the healthy-looking Latins, hawaiian, indians.
Like Aishwarya Rai!

i like it that they are comfortable with not being reed-thin. But when i watched Mistress of Spice, she seems to have lost weight... hmmm, think she looked better last time.

of coz petite gals are pretty too: Kristin Kreuk!

...

...

but some girls wanna look like that...

thinking back... actually, there was a time in my life i wanted to be stick thin too. used to run 10km a day, about 5 times a week. Drink milo only, water, liquids only, no food. when i was trying to recover, i'd take one tau-sar-pau for the whole day n feel horrendously guilty and worried abt the calories of that one pau.

i never became stick-thin like the gal in the picture tho. i'm an endo-meso-morph, so i just get abs ;) . But thank God i didn't go on hating myself and my body. I was doing some bible study thingy with my ex-CGL Liling, and in one of the topics, i came across psalm 139.

For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I realized that God didn't make a mistake when he made me. I didn't have to starve myself to "correct a mistake" coz God created me wonderful, and he saw that i was made just the way he wanted! ofcoz, i still have to steward my body well and keep healthy la. but it was nice to be able to accept myself.

His love and word... so liberating!

=) I L I K E H IM ! ! ! =)

my beautiful staffroom table

Some schools have got L-shaped staff desks. Some have moved on to U-shaped desks.
Mine?
We're still at the I-shaped ones.

Therefore, it is not my fault that my desk looks like this:




Strangely, this phenomenon is only observed in my lorong.
we call it the curse of Lorong 2. I'm at unit 22. Units 20- 24 are affected.

Really. See!

the other tables in the staffroom look ok. it's just this lorong. that's why people say the grass is always greener on the other side. That's why Neighbour in Unit 21 has been doing work at other desks, returning to our lorong only to dump more nuclear waste.

Anyway, we can't reach the top of the pile while sitting down. we have to stand and mark if we wanna do any work here. which explains my well-developed errrr... leg muscles.

hmmm... shall check out my neighbours' legs when i get the chance. mabbe we've got the best legs in the whole staffroom.

I said I won't blog but...(part2)

...I didn't say i wouldn't tell lame jokes!

Lame joke 1
冰厨里有四粒鸡蛋。　
第一粒蛋跟第二粒打招呼，在和第三粒蛋作了朋友。
来到了第四粒蛋，　第一粒蛋发现这粒蛋长得有点不同，就问它：　
“这位鸡蛋朋友，你为什么长得毛毛的？”　
第四位鸡蛋不高兴地说：“Hello. 我是 kiwifruit 啦”

Lame joke 2
question: how much money do you need to go out?
answer: 四千万(i dunno how much that is...) because 没有事千万不要出门。

I said i won't blog, but...(part1)

=(
i know i'm slipping... there's a whiny complainer waiting to emerge.

hazeallergy.coverduty.ownduty.wedding. ha, i can so identify with martha. Don't you care, Lord, that i'm doing everything? why am i holding the fort for everyone when my own stuff's left undone? Don't you care that the work allocation's not very fair? Don't you care that i'm overworked and overwhelmed?

but like what chua said, i just have to get back to why i want to do this. Yeps. Do i want to opt out of any of these? No. I know why i am here. They ARE part of my purposes. They are part of my training, to make me fit to battle for Your kingdom. Anyway, everything is finishable. if they are not, then the world will simply have to deal with it. i'll just try my best.

just need you nearer and closer.
without you i'm just a mess. With you i am a blessed mess. ha. Can't wait to meet you tonight. =) Coz i know that after that, all the darkness will be gone. everything will be light and right.

Complete this i must!

To Do List.
Blue = completed.
Red = outstanding.

Until everything turns blue, i shall not blog/ go shopping/ read newspaper/ surf.

-Get invitation cards printed
- and sent out.
-Do RSVP
-Write Leaving Cert remarks for form class.
-Key in Prelim marks and Progress report remarks.
- Write up School NE Plan for next year and next 5 years
- Pray and seek God's plans about Kidz Club for rest of year, next year, and new outreach mission.
- Continue Marriage prep class. (Arranged for Wed)
- Mark Sec 3 Exam papers
3a1 P1
3a2P1
3e3P1 =
3e4P1 =
3e5P1 =
3a1 P2 =)
3a2P2 =(
3e3P2
3e4P2
3e5P2

- Booking mani-pedicures.
- Meet with wedding photographer
- pay for air-tix (Arranged for Friday)
- Book tokyo hostels/ car rental online
- plan travel route
- Exercise
- Call absentees to find out if they're diarrhoeaing/puking.
- Finalise Heritage Gallery Renovation
- Disseminate next year NE committee plans
- Get credit card extension for dinner
- meet hotel man to finalise stuff (Arranged for Thursday)
- contact studio to arrange for fitting/dad's suit

Looking forward to a BLUE NEW WORLD.

Urgent? Important?

Too much on my To-Do List!!!
So while in the loo juz now* ok...why wld anyone need to know this???*,

i tried to put all my tasks into the grids... (mentally la, there were no grids in the loo. and no, i do not bring in writing materials.)

urgent and important,

not urgent but important,

urgent but not important and

not urgent and not important.

Urgent and important:
-Get invitation cards printed and sent out.
-Do RSVP
-Write Leaving Cert remarks for form class.
-Key in Prelim marks and Progress report remarks.
- Write up School NE Plan for next year and next 5 years
- Pray and seek God's plans about Kidz Club for rest of year, next year, and new outreach mission.
- Complete Marriage prep.
- Mark Sec 3 Exam papers.

Urgent and not important:
- Food tasting tonight at hotel.
- Booking mani-pedicures.
- Meet with wedding photographer
- pay for air-tix

- Book tokyo hostels online =)

- plan travel route =)

Not urgent, Important:
- Exercise. one week has passed. the new MOH ads say we should exercise 5times a week for 30 min each time.

Not urgent, not important.
-blogging.

Guess what i'm doing now?
=(

My Own Beautiful People List!

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder aye?
When i was in Pri school, i thought miss tan cheh hia was the most beautiful person in the world. That's coz she was my favouritest teacher, kindest, sweetest! So i found her very beautiful...
When i grew up and looked at my old pics, i realized she wasn't what the world usually perceives as beautiful.
Actually, i think all children had perfect vision. they could see thru a person, right into the heart. So a kind person, a loving person looked beautiful regardless of their outer appearance. You can see it in kids- really young kids who haven't been tainted with TV and MTV and magazines. They naturally like kind, loving people. They can see that they are beautiful. Really beautiful.

But as we grew, somehow, our "eyesight" grew bad. We lost the ability to look into hearts, but started to look only at the exterior. Or maybe we didn't lose it. Maybe we just gained two different kinds of "eyesight"?

Anyway... my Beautiful People List - using BOTH kinds of eyes! in no particular order!

1. WKY - she loves God and people with all her heart! even when it hurts, even when it's hard. She's wise. She inspired me greatly, taught me much, and shaped my growth in so many ways!

2. Catherine Zeta Jones - okae, this is solely exterior. Wowed by her ever since Entrapment. Her face, body, and agility!

3. Huiping - sweet and kind heart, never seen any malice in her - EVER! - despite knowing her for more than a decade!

... ha, actually, now thinking about it, there are so many beautiful peeps in the world!

the list shall continue next time!