I know it's not for lack of faith - i fully expected each time she went for the test that she would be well, but four times i'd been wrong.
It's not for lack of prayer. I've prayed for Celeste even before she was born, am still praying for her, and i know many others are praying with me.
As if the sorrow of being away from Celeste once again isn't enough, it's made worse by the bewilderment. I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE ALLOWED THIS!
He spoke and the world was made, He healed the blind, the leprous, the lame - what is lowering jaundice level to him?
Why doesn't my Father just strengthen my baby's liver, lower the jaundice level, make her well? Why would he allow her to be pricked so many times, warded twice?
i clearly remember God promised protection not only for me, but also for my "tent", and Celeste is definitely in my tent. Psalm 91... ok, granted, jaundice may not count as a "disaster", but still...
... WHY?
I suppose it's a variation of the age old question of "why does a loving God allow suffering". Who can answer that?
But like the blind man who received a "partial healing" at first, i will not sit back and pretend i will make do with a partial blessing.
I may not understand, but I know He can, and I expect Him to heal perfectly.
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