Preggy News, 9 months on!

Time Flies

Time flies... i'm entering the final month of pregnancy!
Motherhood's gonna start anytime in the next 4 weeks!!

Can't quite decide if i want it to be soon or not... on one hand, i can't wait to meet Glory-Faith Wong (ummm, yes, slight change of name again.). But there's also an inertia... i'm now quite used to carrying Glory-Faith with me wherever i go, knowing her every move, quite used to the humongous tummy, quite used to being a preggie.
There's a finality about transforming from a Preggy to a Mummy that's very unsettling. Life as i know it will drastically change. No turning back. Never, ever the same again.

Plus, there are still things left undone - like my New Year resolution (which i have not started on) to get my spoken Mandarin up to par ( target: Zhifeng-Anthea standard) so that i can teach my baby proper Mandarin. Yikes. Need a crash course quick!

But that's the thing about time - it passes whether you are ready or not, whether you want it to or not.

O, I realize I was depressed!

Was reading a baby mag that peck bought (why did she buy a baby-mag? hah, dun speculate! she bought it for the confinement food recipe in it, she's gonna cook for me sometime=)) and i realized that there's such a thing called Prenatal Depression.
As i read the article, i found that I could identify with so many of the symptoms and feelings the sufferers experienced. [Pregnancy being a time of misery rather than joy. Anger and frustration at sickness, weakness and fatigue. Resentment abt the pregnancy. Feelings of guilt for resenting the pregnancy]
I suppose it showed in my blog entries... i crusaded against procreation, i think i've never been so grouchy and grumpy in my life! And then i felt guilty that i was grouchy and grumpy... so i resolved not to talk about it anymore.
I thought i was faring badly, that i was coping terribly with the pregnancy, that i would never ever want to be pregnant again.
UNTIL....
1. i came across an internet forum for mums-to-be, and there was a thread for mums-to-be who are teachers. There were many who had it so bad that they used up ALL their medical leave AND hospitalisation leave and they weren't even in their third trimester yet! Hey, i didnt have it so bad!
2. Several colleagues actually commented that i seemed to be taking pregnancy quite well (!!!) and could cope with pregnancy and school (!!!). i found that comforting, coz it meant that i wasn't doing as badly as i felt i was, or acting as miserably/grouchy as a felt/blogged.
3. I started having company!!! J's having a baby in September, R's having a baby around Dec, XL and L are both gonna have their babies around Oct too... Weeeeeee! Baby Fest!!! =)
4. The End came in sight. Receiving the weekly updates from Baby Centre always felt great- not for the info, but just to see the "Week 30" progress to "Week 31", then "Week 32" and so on...
5. I finally 看开。　There are things i really can't do when i am pregnant, and i should stop beating myself up.

Anyway, i think i am officially undepressed now. Thank God, He always sees me through my patches.
And yes, i've also stopped warning gal-pals about the perils of pregnancy.
Ha, maybe i HAVE become one of The Others.
Y'know, the Parents-gang, who'll always say things like, "It's worth it".
Maybe next Chinese New Year/ wedding ceremony, i'd wish people "早生贵子” and really mean it.
Maybe i'd even stop glaring at/ pinching Munch whenever he hints at a #2 or #3...
Maybe.
Just MAYBE only.