Friday, February 29, 2008
WOW! =)
Munch passed his driving test on his first attempt! Only 25 lessons! Only 8 points! He's the best learner i know!
2. Wow!
Kate Sarah Chan is born! Congrats, Evelyn n Kenneth!!!
3. Wow!
I'm in my last trimester!
4. Wow!
SOMEONE was well behaved yesterday! ...quite.... relatively... considering... =P
PS
5. Wow!
Baby Isaac is born! Congrats, Dawn and Eugene!!!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Faith as small as a mustard seed...
i was appalled at the lack of integrity, even more appalled at the lack of repentance.
how did a person come to a point like this - where no shame is felt even when thievery is exposed? no remorse shown, saying only what is necessary to get his way? To get away?
what can i do, when my words seem to get nowhere? i can't let it pass - it would be detrimental to him. Yet what can i do?
How did he get this way?
is it the upbringing?
is it the influence of friends?
do we blame it on society? the media?
is it in-born?
What should i do - is it a lost cause? Is it just a losing battle, to want to raise a generation of people who are discerning and upright?
It weighed on my mind as i crawled into bed for my night devotion.
Passage for the night was from Matthew 17.
When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. "Lord, have mercy on my son," he said. "He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him."
"O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me." Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment.
Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, "Why couldn't we drive it out?"
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Ahhhh... Just what i needed.
Why do i trouble my mind with "why is the boy behaving badly?"
Why do i entertain thoughts that it's a lost cause?
Why do i care about who's to blame?
These are not the main points.
If i have faith as small as a mustard seed, i can pray for them!
i can pray that they will become oaks of righteousness, men of sound character and integrity.
And, whether instantaneously right before my eyes, or in a few days, weeks, months, years later, that's what they will be.
God, give me more faith, so i will never give up, so i will always believe in what you have called me to do. Give me more faith, so that i will ask, and it will be done, according to your will.
And in the name of Jesus, i speak your righteousness into X. Bless him, make him a man of integrity and righteousness.
Amen.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
remember to be grateful
And how teachers too have that bad rep?
And drivers?
Ooooh, bad combi! Put them all together and you've got.... ME!
When i'm driving and not praying, i find that i'm super critical and impatient. i get irritated at the cars that turn slowly and make me miss the light. i get irritated at the people who jaywalk without looking. i get irritated at the taxi-drivers who seem to think it's their birthright to take 2 lanes at a time and never have to signal. And i actually mutter at them. (Not vulgarities - but only because i find them lowly and of poor taste and are simply not part of my vocabulary. ahem-ahem. *dabs at lips with a lace handkerchief*) But i think the anger and venom in my heart at those moments were equally nasty.
I thot of my daddy, and recalled that he never was mean-mouthed in all the years i sat in his car... the most he did was high-beam at people... uh-oh! what was happening to me?? If i'm not careful i'm gonna end up like those foul-mouthed, horn-tooting people!
***
Yesterday, after a frustrating morning (unsettled bulk collections and forms, missing trainer marring my supposed-to-be-relaxed-friday, more puking...) i met my hod for a review.
Near the end of our meeting he asked, "are you happy? i know last year was hard, but are you happy this year?"
i thought for awhile... yeah, actually i'm happy.
then i kept thinking... i've got so many other things to be grateful for, i really should think about these rather than wasting time being irritated by unworthy things!
***
i am grateful...
that i have lovely colleagues. i love the mummies who are ever willing to share their experiences and advice, lend a listening ear, share funny stories, and are a source of support and understanding.
I am grateful that the bosses have been more understanding and supportive than i expected.
i am grateful for the comfortable company at the staff lounge, where we have, over the months, learnt each other's eating habits and preferences, traded opinions and stories and newspaper sections.
i am grateful for a helpful and godly co-form who truly cares for my class, and is dependable and capable.
i am grateful that going to school doesn't distress and depress me like it did during my practicum days.
i am grateful for the joy of seeing ex-students, seeing them being well and happy, seeing them coming back to school.
i am grateful for the pleasantness and maturity of the Sec 5s.
i am grateful that we're shortlisted for validation.
i am grateful that there's gonna be a salary revision.
i am grateful that today's Saturday, and i get to rest and read.
i am grateful for munch, and his gentleness and patience.
***
i am grateful...
that cg always turns out to be "worth it".
So many times, i felt i couldn't possibly live through another few hours of talking, of fellowship, of being awake. So often i was tempted to opt out and go to bed...
but it just starts getting better once cg starts....
Perhaps it's the genuine love of the people. Perhaps it's the cheeriness(sometimes forced) and concern (genuine) they have for everyone. i mean, each probably went thru a similarly tiring week, have issues they are facing, yet they turn up, yet they put their own needs aside, yet they try to minister to others...)
Perhaps it's the antics of eliz and edwin, whose sense of humour never fail to surprise and bring a hearty chuckle. i love how jokes and hilarious comments are always at the tip of their tongues, how ready they are to break into an impromptu song or drama or dance, yet always know when to be sensitive and are real enough to bare their souls in the blink of an eye.
Perhaps it's the healing and restoring that takes place during worship. Perhaps it's the awareness of God's sovereignty and love when we meet him in prayer. Hearing his voice - sometimes in the stillness, sometimes in revelations, sometimes in songs, sometimes in the discussion of the word. A sudden reminder, a sudden command... bringing me back to the purpose of my existence, the sanctity of my role as his lover and friend. And the pains of being in the world fades in comparison.
Perhaps it's the testimony of the people, who are also holding on, making sacrifices, loving our Jesus together, trying our best to get it right, having a zillion weaknesses, yet wanting to do what's right anyway, wanting to get there. The unsaid camaraderie of a fellow sojourner.
Perhaps it's just God's grace and concession. Because it is His command in the first place to never give up meeting together, He "has to" make it feel good. ;)
Or perhaps in spite of what i think, in spite of my craving for solitude and rest, i am secretly still an "E" who secretly need people and bustle.
Whatever it is, i am thankful for the CG.
***
i have so much to be grateful for.
***
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
NOOOooooOOOOoooo....
It's been three sleepless nights.
Headaches.
Indigestion.
Tired.
I want to sleep.
I miss the wonderful feeling of stretching after a good night's rest.
Feeling the tiredness of the previous day dissipate.
Feeling the contentment of a night of peace and warm fuzzy comfort.
But these mornings, it's aching legs and tired mind.
And some residual irritation of numerous failed attempts to sleep,
of hearing that beeping phone, as if i needed to be awakened.
Beeping chirpily as if it marked the end of rest,
when all it marked is the beginning of more toil that would lead to more tiredness that would lead to...
still no sleep.
I want to sleep.
But i guess i have to live with it for now.
I will survive. After all, i DID survive for a month on 2 hours sleep per night back in NIE.
Living on coffee and mascara, we called it.
No coffee for now, but good thing mascara's not banned for preggies.
I just need to be loony-tired, instead of tensed-up-tired.
You know, how sometimes lack of sleep makes you laugh and act silly? Living in a perpetual high? Life's more fun that way.
So all ya'll, don't count on me. Go take care of yerself.
I'm gonna be mad for awhile. I'm gonna be irresponsible and undependable and forgetful and i'm gonna ignore you if you aren't cute/ charming/ sweet/ beautiful/ giving me money.
Or so i say.
I JUST WANNA SLEEP!
( disclaimer: but if you really need help, u really wanna talk, it's really my duty, dun worry... i'm ok. still can de. )
Friday, February 15, 2008
Valentine's Day 2008
If i do all i do, but do them without love, it is nothing...
Love them, love them, love them! Or else it is all for nothing!
At times it is easy.
Like some classes who are usually very much grown-up and sensible. I like the way we can relate in a relaxed way, with seldom any need to change to disciplining/nagging mode. They're interesting, funny, respectful, thoughtful and cooperative. Conducting lessons almost doesn't even feel like work. It's as enjoyable as a free period. Almost.
At times it is not as easy.
But that's the point isn't it.
To love, regardless.
i wish i know how to get through to ^. Gut feel is that ^ needs loads of personal attention... but how personalized can i be when there are almost 60 in the class? Is it fair to the rest of them? Some of them are so conscientious, they try so hard and are so attentive even in a lecture setting... the kind of class that i know i would soooooo enjoy teaching, the kind that can try out games, outdoor learning and field trips. So reluctant to always be stern with them, just because of a handful of ermmm... less grown-up ones.
How long would it take for these less grown-up ones to grow up? Can we afford to wait out? Am i able to "baby" these people given the constraints? Actually, would tolerating even help them? Or would disciplining help better?
Have quite decided already la.
Just remember to do it with love, not anger.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Currently...
i say "currently", coz just recently, she was also 黄灵熙 and before that, 黄琳熙 and 黄玲熙 and 黄智恩。
She was also Cherish and Cheryl and Joy. Eons ago, in my own mind, she was Love, Peace and ermmmmm.... Trinity (during the Matrix era). I never brought those names up to munch coz i'm sure he'd never agree.
Anyway, Latyssa means joy. I pray for her to not just know joy, but also bring joy. Not just happiness, but real joy that transcends situations, joy that is from the lord.
Whenever i pray for Baby, i pray that she'll be a passionate lover of God. The kind of person who deeply feels Songs of Solomon. The kind of person who wouldn't count the cost of being a Follower because she is too caught up with being a Lover. (which started us on a hunt for "Love"-ish names, like Cheryl and Love).
I also pray for her to be such a loving person that she'd bring God's healing and love and acceptance to others. You know, the kind of person that everyone would feel comfortable with. The kind who wouldn't bitch, wouldn't judge, but would simply brighten up everybody's life just by her sweet, loving nature. That even the most unconfident, defeated soul would find a touch of peace and love and acceptance through her.
Of coz, i pray for more frivolous things as well, like being pretty and smart and healthy. =) Munch prays that she'd be athletic and musically inclined.
I want her to be a dancer, and secretly i hope she won't play hockey. (hehe... after all my hairline cracks and bruises, i don't wanna experience the heartaches i put Daddy through!)
I hope she gets into PLMGS, but i'm not in the 2km range.
Well, she can get into St Nicks then. St Nicks is good too.
I think i may have to get a maid after all... when Kor has a kid too, or if i have another baby. Though we probably should install surveillance videos, after hearing about how some maids mistreat babies.
Hehe... yeah, these are the stuff that a mum-to-be thinks about.
That, and water retention and bloated legs.
And sometimes i think about how great it'd be if i could unzip my tummy, play with her a bit, then put her back in again when i'm busy or she's crying or when it's not fun anymore.
And i spend a considerable amount of time hunting down misplaced items as well...
memory really bad these days.
Oh but i WRITE it down when i assign homework, so don't even try!
Saturday, February 09, 2008
for the record...
This is her side profile....
And the front... ( a bit alien-like hor?)
At the previous check up, Baby's tummy was above the 50th percentile, and her legs below the 50th percentile. We prayed that Baby won't be short and fat. This time round, her leg's at the 50th percentile, and her tummy's at 40th percentile. =)
Yay! Thank u God!
Doc says i should eat more, especially more carbo to help her grow a lil fatter...
*rejoice!* i like carbo food!! =)
$100. Agh. =(
The multi-storey carpark was a distance away. My legs were hurting from the fall/ standing the whole day in school. I'm pregnant and heavy. I was just going up to return something to a friend, and i was outta there. She was alone at home with her baby, i couldn't ask her to come down to pick it up.
Reasons, excuses, whatever u call them....
i parked where i shouldn't, and that's a hundred bucks gone.
Pui. Sian.
2nd CNY i don't have to visit a-particular-house.
1st CNY with a car,
1st CNY with a baby in my tummy,
1st CNY wearing preggy clothes.
On eve, had reunion dinner @ Daddy&Mummy's. Kor n Jiali came back from honeymoon in NZ/OZ, and they got this for Baby:
A frame for monthly baby pics for the 1st year
A t shirt with glow-in-the-dark dolphin eyes.
On Day 2, we went to Ikea, then to Mother&Father's for lunch. It's also...
Munchie's Birthday
so we went to Labrador Park for a stroll/history lesson/ Ben&Jerry picnic.
While walking, i suddenly felt a strange compulsion to call Daddy to find out where they were.
(ok... i miss them...CNY always used to be a family thing...)
So anyway, i called Daddy, which is a good thing, coz Daddy said Kor took his car and left them at Da-Yi's place, and he said he'd be very happy if i went over.
So we drove over to lentor.
Along the way, we discovered a row of quaint looking kampung-ish food stalls (see pics below: Center, top-right, bottom-center.)
And we also met a would-be assasin. From the left-most lane, he drove crazily across 3 lanes, straight at my car which was on the extreme right. Thankfully, other cars honked at him and the loud noises frightened him into pretending he's just another lousy driver. But i was a little shakened by the incident, and responded by ... ermm... mounting the curb for awhile.
Then i recovered and got us to lentor safely, with nary a scratch.
Red Swift 1, Assasin 0.
We went to Esmirada for dinner that night. Been very eager to take munch n daddy n mummy there, coz i enjoyed the plate smashing (at 9pm every night, they start throwing n smashing plates. great fun, plus some other people do the cleaning up.) and the food's pretty good too.
Day 3, we went to munch's colleague's place for a steamboat lunch.
Good food, nice company, nice place, good kids.
And then it's back home to WORK WORK WORK
Can't believe it... tomorrow's already Sunday...and i haven't prepared for monday's lessoms yet!
The 4day break looked so long and promising on Wednesday night, but now it seems so short and fleeting... All too soon i'm back to preparing "Double Entry" worksheets and "Goodwill" slides.
all tooooooo sooon.