Leaving soon, gotta rush...
My two Dec 17 wishes:
1.
parents' salvation-dad to experience true joy, and mum to experience forgiveness and release of all bitterness.
2.
Breakthrough in spiritual climate & journey for everyone in church.
Trip objectives:
See, marvel, relax, play, experience.
Know God more, draw nearer.
Know Munch more, establish an edifying lifestyle together.
Refresh, recharge, get strength, love and inspiration for work in 2007.
we'll be back, our job here is not done yet.
if we don't make it back, rejoice with us coz we get to meet jesus first.
then please help to remind my parents to contact patrick for insurance, take care of them n tell them the joy of departing,
and inform school to find teachers to cover my classes.
=)
morbid? nay. just being prepared.
in adeline's words, "if anything happens to me, it means u haven't been praying for my safety."
so pray hor... i'm driving leh!
see ya'll
will post when i can. =)
weeeeeeeeeeeee! here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) =)
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Because it has once worked...
long long ago, during Chinese lessons, LMJ once told us the story of "Shou Zhu Dai Tu". can't really remember but i THINK it was about a man who was supposed to go hunting for pigs, but was lazy, so he sat under the tree, and a silly bunny came hopping along and knocked into the tree and fainted, or got trapped by the tree roots... and so the man got himself a yummy rabbit stew without having to work.
So he thot, "hey this is great." and he sat under that tree the next few years, but it never happened again, so he starved to death. something like that. wait... it sounds a bit lame, it's probably wrong, but the idea's there.
Anyway.
isn't this what everyone tends to do?
"i prayed this way once, and felt God's presence, hence from now on, let's always sing these songs/ pray these words/ use this tone/ use this volume?"
"we tried this once with the kids, and they grew. so let's forever write materials/have no games, just bible study/ have lots of games/have tuition/visit them more"
"i asked God, and He told me exactly what to do, so from now on, i won't do anything without hearing directly from him."
there isn't a right and wrong i guess, just that different situations call for different strategy. but how do we decide the strategy? by experience? by waiting for a revelation?
personally i like to have that very certain word from God. i somehow NEED to know that the way i've chosen is exactly God's plan. coz i've seen and experienced that Man can plot and plan, but it's always God's plans that prevails. An ounce of favour from God is worth more than 10million man-hours.
So i prefer to hear first, then act. does that make me a ShouZhuDaiTu-er? sit around till the bunny comes again? what if it never does?
but no... the fable doesn't really apply to this, i suppose. God's not a silly bunny, and he did say he would reveal his plans to his friends, so i am certain he intends for me to know his heart.
but the truth is, sometimes i dun hear, sometimes i dun wait. like samuel at the 1st 2 calls, like King saul when samuel was late. lack of intimacy, hence lack of revelation? i admit. lack of faith, and hence kan-cheong? i admit. But i need to hear you. i dun wanna run ahead in anxiety when i hear no commands from you.
without intimacy with u, jesus, i am a mere human.
i dun like to see with my own eyes. gimme your eyes again please?
oh and today, for a moment, i felt a lack of closure, and a motherless-ness, a mentorless-ness.
God reminded me He's my teacher, and of the power of prayer.
Ha, what a great gift he's given me, the gift of intercession and prayer. i dun use it enough.
i will. the world will be a better place.
oh, and, yesterday had WAGHAB gathering with jean, sarah n hp.
happy for hp... haha, first time i see her n danny in non-church setting together, and i like it. i like the way he looks at her, i like the way he obviously love her to bits and treasure everything about her - every strange quirky hp trait!
HP... i approve 102% =) =) haaaaa, he's God-given, not like the 301 guys i kept trying to make you consider!!! go get married! remember we're supposed to have kids at the same time!
So he thot, "hey this is great." and he sat under that tree the next few years, but it never happened again, so he starved to death. something like that. wait... it sounds a bit lame, it's probably wrong, but the idea's there.
Anyway.
isn't this what everyone tends to do?
"i prayed this way once, and felt God's presence, hence from now on, let's always sing these songs/ pray these words/ use this tone/ use this volume?"
"we tried this once with the kids, and they grew. so let's forever write materials/have no games, just bible study/ have lots of games/have tuition/visit them more"
"i asked God, and He told me exactly what to do, so from now on, i won't do anything without hearing directly from him."
there isn't a right and wrong i guess, just that different situations call for different strategy. but how do we decide the strategy? by experience? by waiting for a revelation?
personally i like to have that very certain word from God. i somehow NEED to know that the way i've chosen is exactly God's plan. coz i've seen and experienced that Man can plot and plan, but it's always God's plans that prevails. An ounce of favour from God is worth more than 10million man-hours.
So i prefer to hear first, then act. does that make me a ShouZhuDaiTu-er? sit around till the bunny comes again? what if it never does?
but no... the fable doesn't really apply to this, i suppose. God's not a silly bunny, and he did say he would reveal his plans to his friends, so i am certain he intends for me to know his heart.
but the truth is, sometimes i dun hear, sometimes i dun wait. like samuel at the 1st 2 calls, like King saul when samuel was late. lack of intimacy, hence lack of revelation? i admit. lack of faith, and hence kan-cheong? i admit. But i need to hear you. i dun wanna run ahead in anxiety when i hear no commands from you.
without intimacy with u, jesus, i am a mere human.
i dun like to see with my own eyes. gimme your eyes again please?
oh and today, for a moment, i felt a lack of closure, and a motherless-ness, a mentorless-ness.
God reminded me He's my teacher, and of the power of prayer.
Ha, what a great gift he's given me, the gift of intercession and prayer. i dun use it enough.
i will. the world will be a better place.
oh, and, yesterday had WAGHAB gathering with jean, sarah n hp.
happy for hp... haha, first time i see her n danny in non-church setting together, and i like it. i like the way he looks at her, i like the way he obviously love her to bits and treasure everything about her - every strange quirky hp trait!
HP... i approve 102% =) =) haaaaa, he's God-given, not like the 301 guys i kept trying to make you consider!!! go get married! remember we're supposed to have kids at the same time!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
naivety, cynicism & idealism
Naivety believes that bubbles don't burst, castles in clouds exist, everyone is beautiful and kind.
Cynics see that bubbles burst, that cloud brings rain on the parade,that people can be mean, selfish and imperfect. And they give up on the world. They stop hoping coz in that way they don't get disappointed. They think they're wiser than others coz they've seen hardship. They laugh at the naive and the idealists - they are childish and foolish. It is easy to become a cynic, but i reckon it isn't easy BEING one.
Idealists have bubbles and beauty in their hearts, and with their eyes they may see troubles, pains and imperfections. But they are braver than cynics. they dare hope, they dare try, they dare pray. They have another pair of eyes that see beyond. They see Someone they trust beyond, and they can keep going because that hope never dies.
who are you?
who am i?
Cynics see that bubbles burst, that cloud brings rain on the parade,that people can be mean, selfish and imperfect. And they give up on the world. They stop hoping coz in that way they don't get disappointed. They think they're wiser than others coz they've seen hardship. They laugh at the naive and the idealists - they are childish and foolish. It is easy to become a cynic, but i reckon it isn't easy BEING one.
Idealists have bubbles and beauty in their hearts, and with their eyes they may see troubles, pains and imperfections. But they are braver than cynics. they dare hope, they dare try, they dare pray. They have another pair of eyes that see beyond. They see Someone they trust beyond, and they can keep going because that hope never dies.
who are you?
who am i?
Monday, November 20, 2006
Autopilot Sux
I've been asked these questions about 547 times recently
"How do you feel? Excited?"
"How does it feel to be a married woman?"
"How's married life?"
"Are you very nervous?"
Actually i feel very normal...
strangely, no deep feelings at all, which is strange for a feeling person like me.
when i think back about the past week, the one main theme is actually my family.
i suppose when i stayed with them, i tended to take them for granted. the way i related to them was so "auto-pilot".
(eg. Mummy tends to tell every story 23 times, and complain abt likkhian not studying hard enough 4 times a day. So my auto-pilot way of avoiding that is to look busy each time i sense a story re-run coming.)
but when i actually moved out, everything feels different somehow. heh, it's true i guess, that we often dun treasure what we have till it's gone. in this case, not gone, but a little further.
The night after the wedding, when i came back to serangoon, i felt so homesick and depressed. weird. ONE night after moving out. i was ok staying in Hall for 3 years, i was ok living out of a backpack for 6 weeks in aussie, i loved chalets and holidays and camps, i never wanted those to end. but one night in serangoon and i was weeping. weird.
guess it's the emotions of moving on to a new phase in life... but having this new rawness in my feelings towards my family is good in a way... i learn to cherish every conversation i have with them, every meal i have with them. i love going back for dinner, i even love washing the dishes after dinner. i love the way my daddy assumes he's driving me around without me asking for it, i love the sweet n silly sms he sends me. i love my didi's silly smile, i love taking him n mummy out for lunch. i love seeing mummy choose food, and seeing her try to give us more food when actually secretly she liked the food herself. i love walking her to the bus stop, even though i had to listen to story-reruns while walking.
Suddenly all these nuggets of events feel like rubies and opals and peridots and pearls... =)
Reminds me of Click.
God says "Honour your parents."
Never let it be that one day i'd look back and regret the loving words i should have said but didn't, the simple pleasures i could have brought to them, but was too busy, the patience i should have shown but was too concerned with efficiency and productivity.
Autopilot sux. Dun let it rob you of living a considered, reflected, loving, tender life.
"How do you feel? Excited?"
"How does it feel to be a married woman?"
"How's married life?"
"Are you very nervous?"
Actually i feel very normal...
strangely, no deep feelings at all, which is strange for a feeling person like me.
when i think back about the past week, the one main theme is actually my family.
i suppose when i stayed with them, i tended to take them for granted. the way i related to them was so "auto-pilot".
(eg. Mummy tends to tell every story 23 times, and complain abt likkhian not studying hard enough 4 times a day. So my auto-pilot way of avoiding that is to look busy each time i sense a story re-run coming.)
but when i actually moved out, everything feels different somehow. heh, it's true i guess, that we often dun treasure what we have till it's gone. in this case, not gone, but a little further.
The night after the wedding, when i came back to serangoon, i felt so homesick and depressed. weird. ONE night after moving out. i was ok staying in Hall for 3 years, i was ok living out of a backpack for 6 weeks in aussie, i loved chalets and holidays and camps, i never wanted those to end. but one night in serangoon and i was weeping. weird.
guess it's the emotions of moving on to a new phase in life... but having this new rawness in my feelings towards my family is good in a way... i learn to cherish every conversation i have with them, every meal i have with them. i love going back for dinner, i even love washing the dishes after dinner. i love the way my daddy assumes he's driving me around without me asking for it, i love the sweet n silly sms he sends me. i love my didi's silly smile, i love taking him n mummy out for lunch. i love seeing mummy choose food, and seeing her try to give us more food when actually secretly she liked the food herself. i love walking her to the bus stop, even though i had to listen to story-reruns while walking.
Suddenly all these nuggets of events feel like rubies and opals and peridots and pearls... =)
Reminds me of Click.
God says "Honour your parents."
Never let it be that one day i'd look back and regret the loving words i should have said but didn't, the simple pleasures i could have brought to them, but was too busy, the patience i should have shown but was too concerned with efficiency and productivity.
Autopilot sux. Dun let it rob you of living a considered, reflected, loving, tender life.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Wedding's Over, Marriage Begins!
enjoyed the day tremendously.... so thankful to God, to parents, to friends, to relatives.
amazed at how sweet and thoughtful and wonderful the people around me are.
i am grateful...
for the beautifully decorated place that natasha did up,
that we did not have to do any ancestor worship in the end,
for friends who would bother to put in so much effort to produce a skit,
for friends who would help in every way,
for gifts that are thoughtful, gifts that are sweet, and gifts that are generous,
for folks who would come and share the day with me,
for the people who bore with my distractedness, moodiness, messiness, and helped me tide through it all...
for people who gave up their own time and rest to do all these for us...
i am amazed.
=)
Friday, November 10, 2006
Miss
miss -–verb (used with object)
- to regret the absence or loss of: I miss you all dreadfully.
yesterday on the way to yuying, drove past one of em at the bus stop, must have been on the way to school for the geog paper at 2pm.
this morning received an sms from another "Yoyoyo miss yeo... ... Also enjoy your last day as miss yeo. The next time i see you, i need to adress you as mrs wong already..." =) ha... can just imagine him saying it. cute hor?
i miss them lae. wonder how they are. wonder if the papers have been good so far. wonder if they're nervous/distracted/troubled. wonder if they're tired. wonder if they'd remember to pray and get strength from God.
no wonder mothers are naggy. gosh. look at me.
miss -–noun
- a title of respect for an unmarried woman, conventionally prefixed to her name or to the name of that which she represents: Miss Mary Jones; Miss Sweden.
and yes... this IS the last day of me being "Miss". gosh.
miss -–verb
- to notice the absence or loss of
i'm missed too... in school. Haven't been back coz of invigilation, and Lloyd's been sms-ing me about NE stuff. *sigh* a teacher's work is never done.
No invigilation duties next monday and tuesday, guess will be going back to school then. just nice anyway... wed is poa paper.
Ok... now off to finalize seating arrangement, pack hotel-stayover bag, re-arrange room, buy prezzies for jairus n phoebe, buy card, munch's tie, get Scrubbed, do nails, and i'm set!
Friday, November 03, 2006
"La Tigre e La Neve", Vivocity, and i am happy
LA TIGRE E LA NEVE
Watched "La tigre e la neve" last night at vivocity.
nice, idealistic-type movie =)
at first found attilio such a loser- pathetic, geeky, despo, lustful - although his geekiness and humour is very endearing, and he seems to be a great lecturer.
but when i found that the "lust" was love, and the desperation was devotion and committment, wow, what a man.
Even his strange compulsion to strip into his pure white undies hanging off his skinny frame is forgiven.
VIVOCITY
nothing much wat... just another shopping mall. with REALLY bad maintenance service. i was really surprised at how badly maintained the toilets were. smeared seats, wet floors, many cubicles and sinks under repair, and even graffiti already.
sadly, it's true. we're a clean city only because we pay ppl to clean up. left on our own, every inch of our country will turn out to be like...my staffroom table.
but that aside, i enjoyed myself, and...
I AM HAPPY
some simple things i haven't done in such a long time.
Like...just shopping at a mall. It was a nice feeling, no worries, nothing pressing to do, not broke, feeling healthy, happy, no unhappiness with anyone in the world, no pressures, no fears. Just simply enjoying, yet not in the empty way, like i've gotta shop and splurge to drown my sorrows or gorge and watch movies to escape darkness and coldness.
it was the niceness of seeing things, walking and talking with munch, and we both aren't thinking about students' problems and school and lessons, and knowing that we have 2 months ahead to slowly enjoy life together like that.
it was the niceness of buying sweaters together, and trying out winter clothes together, imagining the fun times together, and, even if not fun, simply the times together.
And this morning i am happy too. when i went for my walk. i am happy to have the time to smell the fresh, cool morning air, the time to pray and talk to God about stuff, the time to get on the swing and feel the breeze in my hair, to make up names for dogs i meet along the way, to make up life-stories for the people i meet along the way.
i am happy. =)
Even in times of trouble, God's given me joy that sticks, and i am thankful.
And sometimes, there ain't no trouble, and everything is just peachy and i'm not in a rush, i feel happy, and i like that too! =) it's like the whipcream on an ultimate ice-blend.
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