Oh phew!

Was suddenly unwell last Tuesday night, and spent the entire night throwing up.
Threw up so many times, i stopped counting (it was more than 10).
Threw up so many times there was no food left, no bile left, (almost) no water left in my tummy.

I seriously hate vomitting. I hate the giddy feeling. I had congratulated myself that i wouldn't be having any more of it, now that i'm past the child-bearing stage (haha), but i guess i forgot that there are other things that make one puke.

The Doctor palpated my stomach and asked, "Have you had your period?"
"Huh?"
"Any possibility you are pregnant?"
I vehemently declared it was impossible, but a seed of fear had been planted... WHY did she ask such a question AFTER feeling my stomach? Did she feel something - like a water bag, or a little kick perhaps?

Then the other signs came fast and furious.

I was bloated and gassy.
I was extremely sensitive to smell.
I had pineapple tart craving - and they had to be the rectangular golden-pillow type.
I was a little more forgetful and blur.
I was still nausea after almost 5 days.
I noticed new hair popping out on my scalp, as if on preggy-hormones again.
I teared watching the Ukraine Got Talent video that Danny sent out.
I, together with a heavily pregnant colleague, did not feel cold during a meeting, where others were complaining how chilly it was.
I was tired and milk flow was slow.

I wiki-ed and found out that our contraceptive method had 2% preggy rate when used perfectly, and a 10% -18% average preggy rate.
And all along i thought i was 99% safe.

With great trepidition, i rushed off to Watsons to get a test kit.

Tested, and it was negative! *cue Hallelujah Chorus*

Husband and i are now gonna celebrate with Moscato and cheese.

After that, we would probably be going to bed with Celeste sleeping between us.

I bet that is an even better contraception than Durex.

Doctor, Doctor, Doctor

Was another doctor-filled week.

It started with munch catching a gastric flu. Celeste caught it next, and she spent 2 days hurling everything she drank. In fact it looked like she puked more than she consumed, if that were possible. After every feed, no matter how tiny, she would throw up so much that her entire face, head, neck, ears would be dripping with icky mucous-y milk. 

Maybe we shouldn't have commented so many times about her chubbiness, till she put herself on such an extreme diet. (She's still chubby now BTW, though munch feels she now has a neck)

Or maybe she overheard us planning for her pneumococcal vaccination, and so quickly fell sick so she could postpone it. Glory must have taught her that trick - Glory falls and bumps her head to get out of jabs.

Just as Celeste was recovering, Glory started throwing up a little. Then came the whole fever-flu-cough-phlegm package.

And then you know me. 

I always think too little of sicknesses, too much of my own diagnostic skills. 

I gave her the leftover medicine from the last round of fever-flu-cough-phlegm. (What! The symptoms are the same, and we got it just two weeks ago!)

But her fever just raged on, reaching the high 39 degrees, and the paracetemol could only stave off the fever for about 2 -4 hours. 

That's when we decided to take her to the doc.

The doctor listened intently on the stethoscope. 

Now, half my life, i thought stethoscopes were just for appearances. You know how doctors always told us to breathe as they listened in on our lungs? Once, just to test, i held my breath and the doctor was none the wiser. He just went on pretending to listen, then gave his diagnosis. So ever since then, i suspected that doctors used stethoscopes just to look doctor-ish.

Anyway, this doctor examining Glory was listening so intently, for such a long time. Then he listened from the back, then went back to the front again. 

Then he said, "You must take her to the hospital."

I felt the blood drain from my face. I wanted to cry. I wanted to deny it. 

I HATE HOSPITAL RUNS WITH MY BABIES.

Off we went to KK A&E.

And what do you know, there was a massive jam on CTE. We took forever to get there, and in that excruciating 73 hours car ride, i was desperately praying one moment, having bitchy thoughts about LTA and PAP the next. I twittered, SMSed n FBed for ppl to pray, and wondered if i could tell everyone on CTE to exit. I quietly lambasted people who were using CTE for non-emergency reasons, like driving to town on a Saturday night - couldn't they stay home and read or something? I also wondered if my situation justifies us driving on the road shoulder all the way to the hospital. 

And i kept fearing that Glory would have febrile fits again.

But we did get there, like i said, some 73 hours later.

And things got better from there. 

They administered more fever meds, did an xray and a blood test, and made her drink some sugared water. Not that i'm biased, but Glory was the cutest patient. She said "Hello Nurse" and "Thank you Nurse", "Hello Doctor" and "Thank you Docter". She instructed a nurse to take my heart rate as well, saying it's "Mama's turn" (the nurse did, btw), and played peekaboo with a (cute) male doctor. She pointed out queue numbers, room numbers and bubbles and fish and turtle. She acknowledged that she mustn't take the doctor's computer mouse because those were "doctor's toys". The only difficulty we had with her was getting her to take the meds and the sugared water.

The doctor pointed out to us the infected lung, gave the all-clear for the blood test, and told us the good news that Glory need not be hospitalised. Phew. =)

So home we trot (the CTE was clear this time) and after a midnight dinner, it was time for the all-too-familiar night-time vigils. Temperature taking every 2 hours, administering medicine, carrying n rocking n singing n sponging n comforting. 

That's the fourth sleepless night in a row. Exhausting, but the relief that comes with having both my girls safe and sound by my side is priceless.

***

I suddenly feel very qualified to rate doctors, for obvious reasons.

So here's my own list of "sick-go-where"!

Serangoon Garden Clinic: I like this for sentimental reasons - here was where i discovered the existence of Glory. The doctor's wife is a teacher, so he's also very empathetic towards teachers.

Medihealth: Dun like. Doctor always late. Tsk Tsk.

6 to 10 (or something liddat): I suspect the doctor is a very nice and principled man, but i feel very threatened by the notices pasted up: "If you are a Chinese, you must speak to the doctor in Chinese. Otherwise, this clinic is not suitable for you."

Like, scarier than my fiercest Chinese teacher can?

So before you step in, better think through what you're suffering from. If you can't articulate your problem in Chinese, better check it up first. Like, how do you say diarrhoea in Chinese?? Lao Sai is not chinese right?

My fav in Serangoon: Koh's T and T!

The doctor's so nice and motherly and kind. I notice she takes very long when dealing with old folks, which i think is very sweet. She also charges super low rates, which i think shows that she's a doctor who is really interested in helping ppl. The queue is super long though, and registration sometimes close way before the closing time coz there are too many ppl.

Lifeline: Munch's cousin clinic. Relative's clinic, so we trust him to take good care of the family. We do Celeste's immunisation here. Rates are ok, waiting time ok.

The careful doctor who REALLY listened with the stethoscope is also here.

The Kids Clinic. Celeste's original paediatrician. She's very responsible and very thorough. She errs on the side of caution, and will expect you to do the same. Waiting time is a killer though. 8 hours!!!!!!!! 

Dr Zainal... i think his treatments are very effective. But i think he overkills on medicine, and also really quite expensive. Each visit is usually more than $100.

Silver Cross : fail. 

Thomson Medical Centre 24 hours clinic. Thumbs down. Ok, this might not be a fair assessment as we've only been there once. But the youngish doctor who examined Glory when i brought her there in a frenzy after her febrile fit was not reassuring at all. When i repeated a question, he was quite smart alecky and impatient. 

Hello. Frenzied postpartum woman, wearing old tshirt and FBT shorts, running in in the middle of the night, carrying a screaming crying toddler with muscles spasm and soiled diaper, and he had no compassion nor patience? hmph. Fail. The lady doing admin/nurse duty didn't really speak English, and seemed quite unskilled with babies too. 

KK Hospital Children's A&E: DEFINITELY better staffed and more professional. They are able to engage the children, they knew what they were doing and things were systematic and organized. Better equipped too - blood test results known within the hour. X ray, blood test, examination, prescription - everything done at once in the same place.

***

May i not see any of them again for many many many years to come.

Except Munch's cousin, at vaccinations and family gatherings and CNY, that is.

Back to life. Back to reality. Back to to Brand New Old Me!!!

It's been a crazily tiring and hectic week in school, but in a way, it feels good.

The last time i started the year un-pregnant was back in 2007. Starting 2010 with a fit, healthy body REALLY feels good.

I like the feeling that i can plunge right in. I like the feeling of "knowing" that whatever can/needs to be done, I can do. I like the feeling that whatever i am passionate about, i can pursue, without that ever-present Troublesome Trio of Tired, Nausea, Fragile hovering around, telling me to just settle for survival.

It feels so good that i've changed my mind about my ideal family size yet again. Remember 2 months ago, i wanted 4 kids? Now i think I'll stop at 2.
I know, i keep changing my mind. Now, even Munch doesn't take my "decision" seriously anymore. He reckons i'll someday change my mind again, so he's not panicking.

Anyway, along with the new surge of energy, i've got new hopes and plans for the new year! So for the first time in 3 years, i actually have new year resolutions! =)

Personal
I was telling munch about one of my ex-students who had a difficult family life, got into lots of trouble in school, and did badly in the exams. Munch mentioned "These types just need to be close to one teacher...."
And i started crying in the middle of busy Serangoon Central.
Wasn't this why i gave up a lucrative career to become a teacher? To be that "one teacher" to students such as him? 3 years ago, wouldn't i have noticed, and gone through hell and high waters to befriend him?
Since when have i started to rue the fact that i'm always given classes with "difficult" students? Since when have i started to demand for good "discipline structures and systems" in school instead of focusing on MY job of being that "one teacher"?
So Resolution Number One - go out of my way to be personal and close to my students. ESPECIALLY the ones that are having a difficult time.

Passionate and Purposeful
Now that the Troublesome Trio aren't hanging around, I'm jumping right in!
I'm gonna be into each moment, into each project, into each task!
I'm NOT gonna be calculating, counting cost, conserving energy and just trying to survive.
And... here comes the best part.... WE'RE DOING COMMUNITY OUTREACH AGAIN!!!!!!!! =) =) =)
One (smug) little part of me is going ,"There, i knew it! So much for the 10 year plan, I know better! God wouldn't let us sit around for so long and wait 5 years to do CP!"
But that's just a small part. The rest of me is screaming YESSSSS!!!
Children are gonna love knowing Jesus, children are gonna find a trustworthy Friend and Saviour and Guide. And when the children sing and worship and pray, God's gonna love it soooooooooo much!

oh u just can't imagine how that makes me feel. =) =) =)

Positive
No more grumbling and complaining. That's a preggy's prerogative and i ain't one no more!!

To the year ahead! Cheers! =)