he and his wife were old, and were childless. God promised him descendents as many as the stars. Seems impossible, yet God delivered.
"Teacher Shuyan, what if God promised, but it never happens?"
"It will. Coz he's God."
Today during worship, i felt God reminding me of that. that the lesson i taught the kids. i too had to re- learn.
So many words released that i am still waiting for them to come to pass.
my parents' salvation - 2 years ago, words were released that it would be soon. when?
three years of hard work for the church - this year should be a break through year!
the kids ministry - the satelite clubs? the generation of kids? the hundreds of kids worshipping?
when? i believe. help my disbelief.
At the bottom of my beliefs and heart and mind, i know that God is definitely trustworthy. I know that from my limited and human perspective there are many things that i may not yet understand, but without understanding completely, i know i can still trust him.
Yet i suppose in the flurry of activities and changes and emotions recently, i haven't been sitting and chatting with him enough.
as we sang "restoring what was broken, so it may fly again..."
and "things in the past, things yet unseen, wishes and dreams that are yet to come true"
it seems as if there are things he wants to lift off me...
have i been too proud to admit i was/am discouraged? am i too proud to admit i am still tired? the logical conclusion is that i have served in my own strength, with fleshly strength. but haven't i been careful to search and check that?
ha. uncle, mabbe i was secretly not kidding when i said i need ihad. but dun worry, i'll meet God n get it sorted out this week.
i have mused, occasionally... if there is another church that is passionate, mission-sending, biblical, disciple-making, does it make a difference if we join them or stick it out on our own? then we can do kids outreach without being limited by building and space. then we can do CP without limitation of funds or manpower. then we can send out hundreds and thousands of missionaries. why not?
today, as i sat listening to the sermon, once again God reaffirmed me of my place as a part of this church. this small, funny, one-of-a -kind church that consumes me, pains me, lifts me, feeds me like no other. a pastor who shares so personally and humbly and frankly. funny projects like lunch-money and baking ministry. people who see God's kingdom as the purpose for living and really put their money and hands and lives into it. and no matter how much i think i have served there are always heroes of the faith around to inspire me to grow. where people seek to honour God by trying to deal with painful relationship issues in biblical ways. sold out, growing, willing fellow church mates.
i can listen to the best sermons online, or watch them on US TV. yet there is this one church that is really home.
it's like how all the rivers may flow into the sea, why not just be a drop of water in ANY river. why not choose the largest river where flowing is the easiest? but somehow, there is a particular river that God put me in. And the journey may not be the easiest, yet if God has put me here, then this is the adventure he has chosen for me. then it must be his wisdom. and we'll rush and gush together, and we'll grow from a stream into a rushing river, and we'll reach the sea one day.
and as for me? better is one day in his house than a thousand elsewhere. a moment with God makes all the difference.
i like sundays. it makes sense.
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