Our 18th anniversary

On this day 18 years ago, He showed me He's real.
18 years into the relationship, does my life show He's real?

There were seasons of euphoric love, of turtledoves, of banners.
There were seasons of chastisement and pruning.
There were seasons of fruitfulness and miracles and adventures.
There were seasons of pain and dryness, when all i could manage was to cling on to the Hand and Heart that was clinging on to me too.
There were seasons of callousness and carelessness, when the body moved on autopilot, the emotions tried to keep up, and the spirit was just screaming to be heard.

I don't know if it's global warming, or internal cooling, or an age thing, but these days, the seasons aren't quite as clear anymore.

There were tests i always assumed I'd pass with flying colours, but was dumbly stumped and found wanting. There were demons and thorns i had hoped to conquer with decisions and declarations of faith, only to realize that faithfulness and perseverance required faith too- maybe even more faith. 

18 years in, I'd only just begun to realize how narrow the gate is. How costly and rare "tested faith" is.
And I'm more and more aware that i need to work out my salvation with fear and trembling- and that i don't seem to have what it takes.

My only hope is that "with Christ all things are possible".
You did that for me 18 years ago, when you broke through my pride and showed me You are real. Don't let go of me, speak to me in the way that only You know how, the way that makes me know that i know.

God's Glory

Dear Glory,
You turn four today!
Being your mummy has been an awesome journey, and I'm constantly reminded that you belong to God. I'm thrilled and awed by how the Holy Spirit is taking you on your very own spiritual journey, how He has guided you to have such a sweet love for Jesus, how you have your own convictions.
Just a couple of nights ago, we brought you to attend the wake of your grand-uncle. You were visibly indignant that people were praying to "other gods", and even more distraught that yeye and nainai were too. You wanted to walk over to where they were, to ask them not to participate in the rituals, to tell them to believe in Jesus. But I told you that it wasn't a good time to do it.
You listened to my explanations, then assured me that you wouldn't say a thing, and said that you only wanted to stand with yeye and nai nai. I gave you permission, partly because i trusted you to keep your word, and partly because i had a nagging sense that you were on a mission, and i didn't want to be guilty of preventing it, or of quenching the Spirit's work in you.
Having obtained the go-ahead from mummy, you quickly went to yeye, tugged at his hand, and insistently shook your head at him, your big, expressive eyes saying all the words your mouth was forbidden to speak. When I pulled you back a while later,I suggested that we'd pray for them when we got home. But you insisted on praying for them there and then. So we did. After that, you looked at them chanting, and wistfully said, "Jesus is saying to yeye and nainai, to trust in Jesus only."

Did you know, when you were born, Daddy had a feeling that you would be the one who brings yeye and nainai to Christ? I thought at that time that it was just daddy's deep desire projected as a sensing, but now, I'm realising that there's something to it!
I am so awed by your spiritual sensitivity and conviction at your tender age. I wonder what God has planned for you... You obviously have a tender and loving heart towards God, you have a desire to please him- you often talk about wanting to share your toys and food with Jesus ( and you understand that we do that by sharing, especially with the poor and weak) I think you have a Lover's heart. You love praying, you have the most touching childlike faith. You have convictions that are so earnest that even your grandparents respect your beliefs. Eeeeps... Being your mummy is such a sacred and exciting calling!
Remember, darling, your prayer that your heart will "fully be for Jesus". Grow to be a handmaiden of the Lord, aware of His preference, his desires. Wait on Him, listen to Him, stay close to Him. May your heart be always tender, trusting, passionate and yielded to our Jesus. There really is no greater honor!
I am thankful for you, you amazing, gorgeous, loving, funny, obedient, wise little kitten!
Love,
Mummy

Glory at Four
Likes Dora, Team umizumi, little bill, show me show me, blue's clues...
Likes to pretend to be a newborn baby, and speak baby-gibberish. Sometimes a variety of newborn animals.
Likes to peetend to be a teacher, and distribute stickers.
Loves studying- doing worksheets, coloring, tracing, writing.
Likes mushrooms, Chinese food.
Looks forward to getting married to a man who loves God, "someone like daddy". Wants me to remember to throw petals on her gown at her wedding.

Yearnings Unsoothed

Sometimes puzzles, conversations, book, theories, games, songs, even an overdose of sermons are just to prevent thoughts you know you shouldn't have, to distract you from feelings you don't want to have.
Sometimes.
Get me through this please, to the place of complete satisfaction.

Oh Adulterous Heart!

A couple of weeks back, as I was putting Glory to bed, she asked me, "Mummy, do you think my heart is for God?"
"What do you mean, darling?" I probed.
"I want my heart to be always for God only. Can you pray that my heart will always be for God only, Mummy?"
I really was awed... where did she get all these longings from? How is it that a three-and-a-half year old would be pondering over a thing like this as she tries to sleep, and want it so much as to ask for prayers?
* * *
There's been a bothersome thorn in my mind the past weeks. I was first aware of it a long time ago, and i thought i had dealt with it. But recently i found it had returned, taking on different forms...
It's hard to put a finger on it. It can seem so diverse - like they weren't related at all, yet were in the same poem. I've been trying to figure it out, i've had sleepless nights hating what i saw in myself, worrying about it, trying to brainwash myself, and when i couldn't really get anywhere with it, tried to write it off as "not really a sin". Praying helped, but my mind was still clouded ... Hmm, maybe that's why it says " be clear-minded and self-controlled so that you can pray". Wasn't clear-minded enough maybe.

So when i'm stuck like that, guess what, i write.
Epiphanies come to me when i write. :P
***
The problem is, I'm easily seduced.
By dazzling intelligence, by masterful eloquence, by intriguing depth.
By broodiness mixed with humor.
By fun and thrills.
By beauty, by the soul behind music and dance.
By a good singing voice.
By that something layered behind beautiful eyes.

It bothers me.
Should it?
Last night, for the second night in a row, I was kept up all night thinking about it, imploring the hs to reveal more to me.
And somehow, Glory's prayer request kept coming to my mind.
Is that the issue you want to deal with Lord? That my heart is divided not devoted?
Is my heart for God only? Have I been more captivated by the Other Things?
I asked and asked.What IS wrong? Why am i feeling so tormented? Is there a problem, or am I just shrouded in a haze of perplexing confusion, thinking it's a problem when there's none? If there IS a problem, what am I supposed to do about it? If there isn't a problem, why is this bugging me so badly that I couldn't sleep?
I turned to sermons and songs, feeling much like Saul seeking relief in the sounds of David's harp. Hoping that somehow, even if i couldn't sort out the torment, sleep would come.
And then i heard the words "Adulterous heart".
***
When it was put in such terms, it's hideous isn't it?
So unvirtuous, so ungrateful, so irresponsible.

But I AM attracted to those! I am drawn to them. I am stirred by them. I've tried not to be, but it's a fight i'm starting to feel is unfightable because it was not meant to be battled with.
I believe I was wired this way. And I was wired this way for a reason.

I think He's calling me to search for something more within the Spirit.
Something of the Beauty that He caused me to love and yearn for, that I've not yet experienced. And if I indulge myself at the physical and soulish level, trying to satisfy my yearnings with people or the aesthetics or sentiments or hobbies, I would not press in to consumate it at the spirit level.

He's drawing me to discover more of Him, something deeper that I've not yet even known of. He wants to be known on another plane, another depth, another intensity.
And whatever that is, I want to know, feel, experience him fully, to the extent that he would let me.

***
I want my heart to always belong to You only.

Snuggle up, Sardines!

We’ve been snuggling it out at my parents’ since April. The whole family is currently housed in my old room. Yes, that’s four of us squeezed into the room that I used to have all to myself. “ Four in a room? How to sleep?” Well, *officially*, Munch and I are on the queen-sized bed, Glory’s on her Bumper Playmat on the floor just outside the bathroom, and Celeste is in her playpen, at the far corner of the room. That’s the plan, at least. More on that later.

But it’s not just the 4-in-a-room sleeping that is amazing, I tell you. It’s the 4-in-a-room storage. The walk-in wardrobe and two chests of drawers (that I used to have all to myself, if I may repeat) now hold the entire family’s clothes, toiletries, diapers, toys and books! How is that possible? Well, that’s because I only have like five sets of home clothes and five sets of go-out clothes here. I figured I should let Munch have more space since he’s working and bringing home the bacon and needs to look like a teacher, while I’m just the chauffeur and can ace the housewife look with just any old t-shirt and berms. So I ceded my territory. And the kids… well, Charisma insisted she only brought minimal clothes for them, but still, their share of drawer space is more than twice of mine! So if you noticed that I’ve been wearing the same outfit again and again and again, IT IS NOT MY FAULT! I’m just a great, wonderful, sacrificial mum and wife.

Needless to say, the lack of privacy and space is making munch and me really look forward to moving out again. But the kids are totally loving it here. They get to potter around the garden and make new friends like

Wilbur
and other playground boys (Celeste especially, that charmer.), they get to feed fishes and force wooden ducks to swim. They get to see Gong-gong and Po Po every day (don’t even get me started on indulgent grandparents). And they get to sleep in the same room as Daddy and Mummy. I wonder if we are gonna have to retrain them to sleep on their own when we move out. But truth be told, I’m gonna need the retraining too.

Glory lah.

She started off with sneaking into our bed in the middle of the night. We spoke to her about it, and she abided by the rules for a couple of nights. Then she started to come over to me in the middle of the night, mewing piteously by the side of the bed “But I want you, mummy. I want to be near you.” “Alright, just tonight” I relented. And of course, it happened again the next night. So it became a habit – for her and for me. It is just so nice to hug her close and snuggle under the sheets together. And, because munch falls asleep really quickly and I get lonely in the middle of the night, I actually am glad sometimes when she comes over for a chat and snuggle. She’s so like me in that aspect – she lies in bed for a long time before sleep comes. Celeste is like munch… five sucks of the thumb and she’s out like a lamp. Not that Munch sucks his thumb.

But to be fair to her, Glory really does try to sleep on her own mat. Last night, I heard her praying, “Dear God, please help me to sleep properly. Because I feel that I cannot sleep properly. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.” It was such a funny-sweet-touching moment… my little girl, trying so hard to obey mummy and daddy, and asking the Lord for help!

So did God answer her prayers?

Yes.

She crawled up next to me a few minutes later and fell soundly asleep.

Funny girl having bean curd tart at Serangoon Playground. Yeah. I stalk my old house. We still go back there sometimes, just to gaze longingly at the windows.

Celeste... behind that messy outfit is a serious charmer.
She's had little boys clearing the way for her on the slide, clamouring to lead her up the stairs, inviting her to explore different parts of the playground with them, and one even asked his mummy to wipe down kiddy rides so Celeste could sit next to him.
You've been warned!!

That's her, looking all pleased coz she bummed a banana off a random stranger.
By the way, after she was done with that, she got a second one! agh.....

Maybe she goes around telling people her mummy makes her work too hard, and doesn't feed her enough. You know, the poor little cinderella card always works.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

I am convinced that Glory is secretly a wise old soul in a kiddo's body.
When Celeste crawled into my bed and I acted all miffed up that I didn't have any space, Glory told me to "never mind, let Celeste", as if she was teaching a spoiled child who needed to learn to give in to a younger sibling.
Or like that day,when i left her night-time diaper on for too long, and she warned me that she needed a wee.
Lazy Mummy: "It's ok, darling, you're wearing diaper"
Wise ol' Glory: "But if I pass urine, the urine will come out!"
Lazy Mummy: " It will not! Try!"
Glory obeyed, and true enough, her diaper overflowed.
Wise ol' Glory: (exasperated look) "You see?"
Ugh. Please tell me im not the only mummy who has received a "told u so" from a preschooler!

Or like now, when she's telling me that it's too late to be using the iphone n i should go to bed.
She's really quite the adult right?

Yet there are times I have to admit she's really just a child.
Like when we pretend to devour her body parts. You know, "nom nom nom I'm eating your nose. " but OBVIOUSLY we are only pretending RIGHT? Yet somehow this girl would look all victimised and plead, "Then I will have no nose. Then I cannot smell already. "
At this point, she's really hoping you would (pretend to ) spit out her nose, and tell her you've returned it to her.
Sometimes, just for kicks, I'd refuse to return her a nose or an eye, and to my great amusement, she actually starts bawling pitifully, like she has really lost an eye/ nose/ eyebrow/ arm etc! Slightly evil, but very fun right!

But God hears the cries of His children, especially little ones who are oppressed and mistreated and who have had their little body parts eaten off by hungry mothers.
Last week, at Glory's first Children Church Camp, I suspect God decided enough was enough and delivered Glory from her fear... He must have whispered something to her, coz she had an amazing revelation that helped her overcome her fear!

I was a little bored, and decided to gobble up her eyes. Expecting her usual pleas, I was surprised when she declared firmly "God made me, and God made my eyes stuck. My eyes are stuck to me so you cannot eat my eyes!"

Impressed.
And also very curious whether it was a revelation God gave her personally, or were the teachers actually teaching such random facts like "God made your body parts stuck" during Children Camp.

Yeah! God gave me awesome peepers AND stuck 'em tight to my face so you can't eat them! Ooh- Hoo!

Look what I found!

Found this while packing for the Big Move(s)...

Yes, I'm from THAT era. I knew all the songs from FAS Official Soccer Album. Dream Team Steam... Muahaha!
I went to almost every home match,and even went to Jln Besar Stadium to watch them train.
I even had a lucky panty, which, in case you didn't know, helped Singapore to beat Sarawak.

At the risk of sounding perverse, I even bought and decorated a watermelon for Aunty Semiah(?) to thank her for raising a man like Fandi, and marshmellows for his nephew Faiz(?)just coz he's cute. (the nephew, not fandi.)( although Fandi was cute too.)

Ah those were the days ;)

"Fandi my hero.... we love you and we thought you'd like to know..."

Evil Morris

I didn't sleep last night, and it's all Morris' fault.
Glory woke up screaming n crying, insisting there was a spider on her bed.
"Spider! Spider!" she cried, pointing to a corner of her bed,"There, on my bed!"

She had gathered her precious bed-things (a Hamtaro cushion, a doggy, a Barney balloon, two pillows n two blankies)  in a pile, as far away as possible from the corner where the spider was allegedly lurking.
She stared at the corner with fear written all over her face, looking so trumatized that I knew it wasn't merely a ploy to get me to come over to her room.

Yet, even if there was a spider, it didn't seem likely that she would have seen it.  Her room was dark, and her bed was crowded, to put it mildly. A spider could technically go unnoticed in her storeroom bed. Unless it was one of those big hairy seriously scary spider, and it walked right over Glory, waking her up!

webecoist.com

Could this creature be lurking in my baby's room????

As I searched her bed and under the mattress, I asked her more about the spider.
Me: Is the spider big or small?
G: the spider is big.
Me: how big is it? Show me with your hands.

Glory indicated a cat sized spider.

And added that it is yellow, with red eyes.

Cheh. Dream nia.

I wanted her to have an avenue to release her fears, so i let her tell me more.

Glory informed me that, apparently, we are supposed to cover our noses when a fierce spider is near.
I was feeling pleased... wow, at 2-and-a-half, Glory is so smart to imagine that these mean fierce spiders knew how to tunnel into our bodies to inflict maximum damage! Wa, during Red Cliff era she would be like ZhuGeLiang can?

But it turns out that it's just that fierce spiders like to hit people's noses.
(facepalm)

Anyway, Glory was particularly upset that the spider did not apologise to her after hitting her nose.
(double facepalm)

Oh, and the spider has a name too.

Morris.

And by the time she filled me in on the various details of Morris the Spider, morning has broken.

Sigh.

And i thought sleepless nights were a thing of the past.

11.11.2010

Another year passed... we're a four-year-old family!
People say time passes fast when you're having fun.
It has been 4 years, and to be very frank, it feels like we've been married longer than that.
So according to that theory, if i feel like we've been married longer than we actually have, it's supposed to mean we're not having fun?
:O
uh-ooooohhhh.....

To set things straight, i definitely enjoy being married to Munch.
I enjoy the companionship, i enjoy the understanding and trust and stability.
I appreciate that however awful and ugly and jaded i feel, he still believes in me and trusts and encourages me.
I love that he knows me so well, he can anticipate how i'd react, what i'd feel, what i'd need.
I love that he spends time with the girls, that he enjoys them and loves them, and is a real father.
Between being married and not, i'd definitely choose being married.

When i was a teenager, i devised a (what i thot was) brilliant True Love test: If you could have ANYBODY in the world - dead, alive, fantasy, pop star who doesn't know you, any of your ex-es... - would you still be with the person you are with? My logic was that if you'd rather have someone else, you're only "making do" with whoever you have.
DUH. 
but i thought it was a brilliant test, (and heck, i still think it's brilliant now)
And yes, Munch passes my True Love test.
He beats Aladdin with the flying carpet, and all the promises of adventure and those sparkly cheeky eyes.
He beats Aaron Kwok. (Oh yes, you lost, Aaron, the moment you donned those red fireman costume and danced like a gigolo.)
He beats Beckham. (ok, now thinking back, i have no idea why i had a wedding ceremony with his poster in VJ canteen. must be the poor company i kept. hp married giggs. oh wait don't tell danny.)
He beats Dao Ming Si - (helped partially by Season Two's development).
He beats the Ex-es (cannot elaborate)
He beats even the epitome of the Strong Silent Man... Captain Von Trapp.

omg check out those piercing deep-set eyes... the thin sexy lips... the too-tough, edgy, stern demeanor... ok stop stop STOP!

Point is, if all the aforementioned characters were available and pursuing me (muahahah, i said "if" already la!) i would still choose to marry munch... Which is a big deal ok. If you still don't think it's a big deal, go and watch Aladdin again and then stare into Captain Von Trapp's eyes for 20 minutes, then come back and continue reading.
Still don't think it's a big deal? Ok imagine you are, say, the lead female character in Meteor Garden. So after all the macho things that DMS did for you like allowing gangsters to beat him to a pulp so that they wouldn't hurt you, like ordering the entire school population to treat you like a goddess, like buying an apartment in ulu-district just to be close to you, run after your bus until he collapses on the ground (Taiwanese men dun have ippt?) ... after ALL that, Munch walks up to you and suggest you marry him instead. I'm saying that i would marry munch instead of DMS. So is that big deal or what?

Anyway, in other words, Munch ACES the True Love Test, Yay!!!!!
:) :) :)

You know why? Because his brow-bones are sexier than Captain Von Trapp's, and he's more emotionally mature than Dao Ming Si.
Exploring Punggol End in our Red Swift is way cooler than exploring endless diamond skies on magic carpet rides.
And he looks like Ip Man.

Anyway, last night, we were trying to recall how we celebrated our anniversaries, and we spotted a rather unhealthy trend.
2006: Just married. Went on a month-long self-drive, no itinerary, wander-where-we-please trip to USA.
2007: Preggy and Pukey. Hotel-staycation at the hotel where we got married.
2008: Left Glory with Mummy for an evening, scooted off to Barnacles for a lovely sea-front seafood meal.
2009: Left Glory and Celeste with Flor at home, while we had a meaningful "marriage evaluation dinner" at Buono's at Serangoon Gardens. (btw i later found out that my school was moving right next to buono's and that took the romance outta that place forever)
2010: Left Glory and Celeste with Charisma at home. Walked to Serangoon Central for Crab Bee Hoon.

Truth is, it really was my choice. I gave clear instructions about not buying flowers. I didn't want any hotel stays or fancy restaurants. I wanted to go back early after dinner so we could spend some time with the girls before they popped off to bed.

And yeah, so there we were... Serangoon Central Crab BeeHoon.
He's very sweet la, didn't complain and still played along with me, discussing the merits of eating crab bee hoon on our own (dun need to feel paiseh to take the pincer, got nice view (?), can take a walk back after dinner to aid digestion....)

Haha... sorry munch.
we'll do better next year.
:)

Next Chapter

It's confirmed. The page was turned, as pages often are. Only this time, instead of more of the same, i find a new chapter staring at me.
My little goldfish bowl for the past seven years is no longer home. I bought the boat, and the oars, and i'm headed for sea. No one's gonna sprinkle little specks of freeze-dried nutrients at regular intervals anymore. But on the other hand, i get to see something other than the same bowl, the same fish, the same seaweed and plastic seahorses. The water was getting murky anyway... i couldn't stay on and stay alive. Am excited about what's ahead... Is it faith? Is it optimism? Or is it just the novelty? Thinking of glitzing it up too, with some Interior Design course... but let me get used to the basics first.

The 2.5 ounces i was talking about? It's now something like 1.5 oz, and that's after a 12-hours intermission. Guess it's time for me to face the fact and move on.

In other news, i've kinda gotten used to wobbling. And because he who matters doesn't mind, i actually take perverse pleasure in it. It's quite funny... to feel it, and yet not fret. Empowering, i guess, in a way... like i've seen through it all... and i'm assured enough to live with it.
But it's not healthy of coz, so i gotta snap out of it. Blame it on the elapsed membership. When i move to a condo, it'll be on track, i reasoned. Or next week, when i'm more free. Or, hey, even tomorrow.... but tomorrow never comes, does it?

And then there's THAT painful chapter. The tomorrow that you wish would never come, but it always does. The chapter that i HATE. The good thing is, death is not the end. In this case, it's even the beginning of something glorious. She had lovely children and grandkids. She had a family trip just before she left. The final days must have been painful... but at least she's relieved of it now.
But my heart aches for my friend.
And i am afraid about tomorrow.
But what to do? The page has turned and that chapter is here.
In the end the only solace is that God is love. And that here with you, for now, are still many whom you love and who love you back.

The Moo's Retirement

I'm in a real dilemma.
The supply has dropped considerably. I'm doing 2.5 ounces at the lunch-time session. If i miss the lunch-time session, it's a mere 4 oz at dinner time. Hardly worth the effort and time spent, it's like trying to squeeze water out of stone. Except it's not water, and it's definitely not a stone. Nevermind.

I've heard from my uncle's domestic helper that back home, her mother nursed her till she was ten. She could be playing catching with her friends one moment, and lifting up her mother's blouse to quench her thirst the next. That's just the way things were in their hometown. No one batted an eyelid.
I suppose it's something between a mother and child.  Personally, i would draw the line at puberty. Imagine a pimply faced teenager... ewww, better not imagine.

Thing is, here, most people stop before their babies turn one, and i am starting to feel like i need to justify breastfeeding my 14 month old. When i asked for breastfeeding-safe drugs from my GP recently, he took a double take and asked "You are STILL breastfeeding? WHY?" giving me the same perplexed look he did when i kept turning up at his clinic with Glory for the nth HFMD screening in a month. You know, the look which is really just a more polite version of an exasperated roll-eye.

Now, i hadn't really thought about WHY i was continuing with the breastfeeding. We were told breast is best, so i just continued on and on simply because there was no pressing need to stop.
Sure, there was a period when Celeste thought it a great game to, well, nip me in the bud, and hearing me squeak in pain. But i employed some dog-training techniques -instead of squealing in pain, i tried growling - and it worked wonders. She's off biting now. So why would i want to stop? It's free milk, it's supposed to help me burn some calories, plus, nursing is such a great bonding activity.
 I don't want to give up forever the wonderful, cuddly, warm moments, with my baby curled up close to me, where she would stay for a couple of minutes at least, giving me time to hug and caress her.
And i am unwilling to give up the very powerful weapon the nursing breast can be. Need her to quieten down? Shove a breast. Want to bargain for extra few minutes of sleep-in? Shove a breast.When she gets to Glory's age, i could probably shove an iPad instead, but for now, nursing is THE wonder.

And i think the great reluctance to stop is also because we don't plan on a third child. Which means that once i allow the supply to dwindle to zero, I would NEVER get to nurse again.  Ever. That part of my life would be irreversibly over. The purpose of a breast would be done and over with for good - you carry them around from puberty to grave, but they were useful only for these measly 19 months.

So i nursed on, though frankly, no one is gonna miss my milk if i do stop altogether. Celeste takes so much solids now, milk probably makes up just 20% of her daily nutrients. Furthermore, she takes formula milk quite happily now. 

Maybe i'm nursing more for my own sake than hers?

Well, i'm sure the day will come when she will on her own initiative wean herself off it. Already, there are occasions she declined to nurse...
For now, i'll just treasure each session as they come and let her decide on when to stop.
 But maybe set an arbitrary compulsory cut-off date of um, say, 11.11.2011.

Death knows no Yellow Ribbon Projects :(

Could it have been averted had we done things differently?
Would it have helped if we were stricter? Or, to the other extreme, kinder?
If i had acted on that gut-feel, would it have made a difference? Why did i let my human reasoning and doubts get in the way? If i had been a little more like i used to be, i would have just heeded the prompting and just do it, instead of rationalising it away and just making it a soon-forgotten New Year Resolution. Would he have responded? Would the story of his life be very different?
What would have helped him?
He's so young.
And i wasn't of any help.
How many more will go this way?
Shouldn't we do something about it?
What can we do about it?
Who's to know what is the best way?
Who's to know which will be the last time you see someone?

And now i keep thinking about those others that i've had similar worries for.
Oh God please keep them safe.

'Cher, what songs do you listen to?

Ok, i admit. i rack my brain for an answer each time students ask me that.
I mean, why do they care what music i listen to anyway? Are they gonna sing me a song of my choice? Buy me an album? Naa-aaah. Truth is, people judge you on your taste in music. It's almost like a personality test - your genre determines if you're cool/ mass-market/ edgy/ sophisticated/ ancient/ weird/ pathetic. So people ask about your favourite genre to size you up and figure out what "type" you are. Y'know, like how we would judge a grown woman (or man) who's always in pink?

Way back, there were songs i enjoyed but was slightly embarrassed to admit.
I SAID i liked Nirvana, Guns N Roses, Michael Jackson, coz in those days, it gave you some street cred. And i did like them, except i was equally happy listening to Spice Girls (even watched the movie), F4 (went for the concert), MLTR (what, stop pretending you don't know what that is. i bet you know the words to 25minutes as well as i do!) and Take That (Howard fan! Coz he had a scruffy look, and everyone else was going for Mark Owen n Robbie Williams).

But today, being all of 31, it's unbecoming to let the expectations of others dictate what you (say you) listen to. So when i'm asked THE QUESTION, i say "i just listen to... well, whatever i'm listening to." Such a non-answer, right? But it IS the truth.
Here's what i listen to these days... the 4 Cs...

1. Children songs... esp Barney!

And for the uninitiated, it's not just the I-love-you-you-love-me song. They've got really fun songs for everything! My current favourite is the Raindrops song!

If all the raindrops are lemon drops and gum drops
Oh what a rain that would be
Standing outside with my mouth open wide
a a a a a a a a a a
If all the raindrops are lemon drops and gum drops
Oh what a rain that would be

If all the snow flakes are candy bars and milk shakes
Oh what a snow that would be
Standing outside with my mouth open wide
a a a a a a a a a a
If all the snow flakes are candy bars and milk shakes
Oh what a snow that would be




youtube video from crystaltears86


Don't scoff! Just imagine how thrilling that would be! It's almost as lovely as my all-time fantasies of Ben-n-Jerry Mountain and Giant Chocolate Bunny! Plus the tune is so exuberant, it's hard not to love. Even Celeste sings along at the a-a-a-a- part!

2. Classical Music
Daddy used to take kor and me to the SSO, but at that time, we liked it for the side-thrills. Like coughing at the intermissions, playing "see who laughs out first" while watching the Conductor's dramatic actions, and of course, the lovely Tau-huay-zui, you-tiao and shao-bing at Geylang after the concert.
Then when I was expecting Glory, i listened to it coz it's supposed to be good for her. We also used it as a car-music when Glory was 0-6 months old - she'd scream and cry if we listened to pop or heavens forbid, techno-ey stuff, but she was nice and easy if we had the car stereo tuned in to 92.4.
These days, my room stereo is tuned in to 92.4 coz i think i should make it up to Celeste, coz she didn't get her in-vitro dose of Classicals.
3.Class 95.
There was a time in my youth when listening to Class 95 made me feel depressed. I'm serious. Maybe it's the emo-teenaged phase, but i swore then that i would never listen to Class 95.
Until i grew up (old) and found the 987 songs noisy and tuneless. (sheesh. exactly what my mummy said about the songs i liked...)
So that's where my car stereo is tuned into these days.
And at home too. Charisma used to blast 987, but i would turn the volume down.  Then she discovered that when she plays Class 95, i don't mind the volume, and i'd even happily sing along. So now she sets the living room radio to Class 95.
4. Christian songs
In the car, we play a Kids Worship DVD, and Glory sings along happily. Yes, she knows the lyrics. She knows the images that go along with each song. And she decides which songs belong to her, henceforth known as her Favourites, and you are NOT to sing along unless given specific permission by Her Royal Highness, Teacher Glory. She is very kind, of course, and selects some songs to be YOUR favourite, and for those songs, you have the liberty of singing along when it plays. *roll eyes*

So my dear students, it's not that i was trying to act all mysterious and evasive when you ask me a simple question like "what music do you listen to". I really don't have a good answer. 
But i guess from now on, i'll just say my favourite songs are Barney songs, and offer to sing The Raindrops Song for you. After all that's the song i find myself singing in the shower.

Pillowtalk with Glory

Bedtime with Glory is such a blast.

Now that she's really REALLY talking, tucking her in has become such an amusing, interesting, heartwarming time.

One of our favourite bedtime activities is to pray. She would remind me every night that we haven't prayed, that we need to pray. Then she would tell me who to pray for.
Sometimes I wonder if she gets prompted by the Holy Spirit, coz she picks really far-off ppl to pray for. Like Aunty Charisma's children in Philippines, Mr See (her school operations manager), and various church friends that I didn't even know she knows. It makes me really glad that she cares about the people around her (and the people not around her), and i think it makes God glad too. =)

Pillowtalk is also great for getting a child's perspective on things, to find out more about her day.
She'd share how she feels about certain events and people (like how she feels about mei mei wanting to play with her, how she feels about being disciplined, what she likes to do on a holiday etc)
She'd tell me what happened in school... Though I suspect there are some inaccuracies coz she once told me that she got bitten. By a lizard from Philippines.
She sometimes also thinks that her storybooks actually happened to her, so these few days, she believes she is "Little Go Peep" (better known as Little Bo Peep, the lass with the sheep).
So yeah, I do take what she says with a pinch of salt.

You also get the sweetest conversations with her at night too. Perhaps it's a time when she gets me all to herself, and she doesn't want it to end, so she keeps me enthralled by all her sweet nothings.
She told me the night before that she tripped n fell because "I want you, so I walk so fast to you and I fall down n knock my leg. Because I want you mama"
In one breath she blames me for the fall, but also tells me just how much she wants me. Awwwwww...
Bedtime is also the best time to get hugs n kisses from her. She generously coats my face with kisses (n saliva) which makes me gigglish n squirmy coz I'm not very much a kissy person (blame it on my mummy. She instilled the fear of saliva in us, n till today, I still wipe kisses away. )
But I just lap up her hugs! Especially when she hugs my head (my head is quite big so it's a good hug) and puts her face reallllllly close. :) :) <333 Sweetness!

Ha, which reminds me, Sunday night, while hugging my head, Glory informed me that "Godpa also hug Godma's face".

Ooooops.

I thought she stumbled upon a semi-private moment in church earlier and i didn't know how to react.A bit curious and wanted to find out the context, but a bit afraid that it was really meant to be a private moment....
Should i ask her to elaborate???

Then she proceeded to describe the rest of the scene...

"Then they smile to the camera n say cheese like that" *attempts to show a peace sign but fails so it was just a series of finger wagging*

Lol. She must have seen a picture of them, or saw them taking a picture. :)

This girl really makes me laugh, and wonder at the things that are going through that amazing little mind. She has got so many funny thoughts, so many unexpected ideas, and so many sweet, affectionate, innocent little quips that lying next to her is really the highlight of my day.


And i resolve to do this as long as she will have me...
I guess the time will come when my little angel wouldn't even attempt to entice me with her "Shall we pray?" and "Iwant you to pat pat me. I want you Mama."
The time would probably come when she would curl up in bed, cradling a phone beneath the covers, and see my presence at bedtime as an intrusion.
The time would probably also come when she wouldn't even be home at MY bedtime. I'd probably be lying awake on my bed, wondering if she's safe and in good company and making wise decisions...

Till then, i intend to treasure every bedtime, to have her know without the shadow of a doubt that Mummy loves her and wants her even more than she wants me. To discuss and share in her perspectives and her faith. And to enjoy and marvel at every little amazing morsel of this marvellous little masterpiece.

i love you, baby.
and i kinda wish you would stay little forever...

Stand up for Singapore

It's Glory's third National Day, but i think it's the first one she's really aware of.
We didn't have tickets to the parade, so we had to make do with TV. I enjoyed the pre-parade video, about the events leading to Singapore's independence. I found myself giving Glory a history lesson, and she seemed to understand, which was quite cool. Charisma listened to, which makes me happy, coz i've always wanted to show off Singapore to foreigners. Yes, in spite of all my new-found discontentment with the state of our country, i am a patriot at heart.

Thanks to Glory's school, she's very excited about the Flag (especially the moon) and can kinda sing the Anthem. When the anthem was played, she eagerly stood up and sang along. The words were mangled of coz, but at least you could tell she was singing the anthem.

I pointed out to her the various ministers and state leaders and pioneers, secretly hoping she would remember their names and what they did. For example, "This is the Prime Minister, his name is Lee Hsien Loong. Remember just now we saw Lee Kuan Yew? This Lee Hsien Loong is his baby, Lee Kuan Yew is the Papa. Prime minister means he is the leader of Singapore. "
When it came to the president, i had a bit of trouble. I mean, how do you explain that his was a figurehead, representing the state of Singapore?  I finally managed a pathetic "his job is to pretend to be the leader, to act as the leader of Singapore. But actually he is not".
Not a very good job i admit. ah well. She'll learn the model answers when she goes to school.

As the parade went on, she lost interest and started drawing. (godma gave her this supercool marker that can change colours) But she was still keeping an eye and a ear on the parade. When the song "stand up for singapore" came on, she actually put her markers down and stood up. After a couple of repetitions of the chorus line, she indignantly exclaimed, "I stand up already!"

Can i say that of myself?
My love for Singapore these days is hardly shown. I tear when i hear "Home" (and quickly think of random nonsense to stop myself from over-emo-ing.. dun want ppl to see la).  i feel proud and happy when Charisma wows at the beauty of the city skyline as we drive past MBS and the flyer. We went up to the highest storey to catch the fireworks, and when 8:10 came, i half wanted to get all the neighbours crowded there to recite the pledge together. But i didn't. Why?

很久没有站起来了。
The love is still there in my heart, but i've not been standing up very much any more.
:(

Nobody but you!

The weekend went well.

We enjoyed our time with Celeste, and yeah, I got to know her better.

Unlike Glory, whose funny behaviour and speeches make her in-your-face entertaining, Celeste is is like coffee to Glory’s chocolate. She’s more nuanced, more subtle, yet rich and full. You could gulp it down, but if you take your time, you get to take in the aroma, swirl it around your mouth a little longer, and then slowly enjoy the shiok milky after-taste.

And in case you’ve never had the pleasure of slowly enjoying Celeste, generous me shall share ;)

   1. She’s fascinated with sounds. I finally understood her obsession with throwing things. She enjoys the sound objects make when they hit the ground. She loves windows and doors and floors for the same reason too. She taps, there’s a sound, and she’s delighted. You know she’s thrilled, because she looks at you like she has just played Beethovan’s Fifth Symphony singlehandedly, and you’re supposed to be impressed and pleased.

And here, a video of Celeste’s performance. Tap floor, throw remote, making loads of lovely sounds… but when the remote lands on her toes instead, she realizes she doesn’t want this video clip shown to the world, and attacks my iPhone. :<

   2. She’s gonna get her ways with guys. Seriously, I don’t know where she picked this up from, but she has this absolutely seductive gaze. She looks at your eyes, looks down shyly, then gazes at your lips as you speak with her, occasionally looking into your eyes again, with her big, innocent, round eyes fringed with long lashes. W-I-N lor. Not only that, she’s such a tender and generous kisser too. You just have to start her with Mmmm-mmuak, mmmm-mmuak, and she’ll continue kissing you non-stop. I tell you, her lips are so soft and sweet. Just that she’s not very accurate, so you need to position your lips youself. And you have to choose the right moment, coz her lips are sometimes covered with saliva + biscuit crumbs. Maybe that’s why it’s sweet.

   3. She is an Eater. So what if she’s had her rice cereal? If you’re eating, she’s gonna want some too. She eats more than Glory does. For dinner, Glory takes like a tablespoon of vege, two tablespoons of meat, two tablespoons of rice and a little bowl of soup on good days. And you have to make the food hop/ swim/ fly into her mouth, or pretend to call her a baby and fuss over feeding her, or starve her for lunch in order to have her finish up her dinner portion. Celeste? She downs a large bowl, and would be more than happy to help you with yours.

   4. She’s a diver. She knows when Glory crosses the line (eg speaks fiercely to her, shoves her, hits her, snatches things from her), and never mind that Glory’s attacks are absolutely not painful, she wails like she’s so hurt and traumatized.

   5. That said, she loves Glory. When Glory enters the room, she’s all excited like Daominsi just walked in (ok, I am outdated, but at least I’m faithful). She idolizes her JieJie, kinda like how Glory gets excited when she sees Shannon JieJie.

   6. She’s not into books. (Yet. Mummy’s gonna change that.) Unlike Glory who can never get enough of books, Celeste thinks books are overrated. They rank below tissue paper in terms of taste, and they perform poorly in sound-generation too. When mummy corners her and whips out a book, she turns and flees, while mummy desperately reads on with as much expression and excitement as possible, hoping that my fantastic rendition of SuperCar would entice her back…. It usually always proves futile. Which leaves me looking rather silly and loser-ish. Unless of course, Glory’s in the room and she comes scurrying to me upon seeing my lap empty and available. Which makes me feel very good and wanted, like I’m a fantastic reader. The flip side of course, is that Glory won’t stop at one book. Or two. Or five. Or ten.

   7. She wants to watch the fireworks, but is mildly startled by the noise. So she whimpers and cuddles close, but still peers curiously. So girly can. Like those damsel in distress on amusement park rides/ horror flicks. See, told you, she’s gonna be a hit with the boys. Except Papa’s probably gonna ban her from watching horror flicks in darkened cinema theatres with guys. Oh wait. I forgot. Papa’s already banned all outings with boys…

   8. Don't ignore her when her face turns red. It means a poop is coming - and real quick! I was in the bath (oooo, love the fairmont tub!) with her when her face turned red and i knew IT was coming. What i didn't know was how little time i had. I had barely gotten out of the tub and crossed the shower area when a cute little pellet fell out. :) Very cute, round and tiny. O

Anyways... in case Celeste develops a love for reading and actually reads Mama's blog one day, here's a note for you baby:

 I love you baby!  You are such a treasure!

Happy First Birthday, and for the rest of your life, may you grow from strength to strength, beauty to beauty. May you have a compassionate heart, love for the oppressed and weak, a quiet and gentle spirit, a devoted, tender and passionate love for God. In Jesus' name i bless you with joy and contentment, with a soul and spirit that is constantly being recharged and refreshed by God's spirit, hearing intimately from him, and by God's grace always quick to obey his voice. May you be filled with talents and abilities and grace, and may you put these talents to work - Works, great or little, but always done with lots of love.

If Papa, Mama and JieJie could choose any baby  in the whole wide world to be in our family, we'd still want nobody nobody but you!

hehe... so goofy rite!

Hi Baby, I'd like to get to know you better...

Do you have more than one kid?
Do you feel a pang of guilt too?

When Glory was 11+ months, she has had her first Happy Meal. She could do a chicken dance. She could ask for food in a very comprehensible way
She chased dogs and popped bubbles at the Botanic Gardens.
She had hobbies.

Celeste has been to MacDonald's too, but we're often too busy entertaining Glory and trying to keep her reasonably safe to really chat with Celeste. If we do buy a Happy Meal, chances are, Glory would get first go at the toy. Celeste would probably get a napkin or something.
Celeste has been to many picnics too... but mostly she watched Glory blow bubbles, play with boys and build castles.

When I look at my past blog entries about Glory when she was about one, it is very clear that she received very much more attention and interaction than Celeste did, and she was also very much more expressive and communicative. As in, I found her very reasonable, very understanding. Like a mini-adult. Whereas, Celeste is really a baby. She cries to get her way, scratches and pinches your face to show her displeasure, and doesn't seem to understand that i don't like her pulling my hair. With Glory, i just had to tell her twice, and she got it. From the time she was a couple of months old till today, she remembers she is not allowed to pull my hair.

I wonder if it's just that Glory is abnormally advanced. I mean, straight after she was born, she was checking out sounds, listening to Papa's singing and staring deep into my eyes, non-verbally explaining to me my duty to love and care for her for the rest of my life, and telling me it was my fault her nose was flat. Celeste, on the other hand, was a regular baby who was squiggling in my arms, wailing for the comfort of the womb.

Or perhaps.... it's actually that I have failed to connect with Celeste the same way i connected with Glory. With Glory, we started off without a domestic helper. As we didn't get a confinement nanny as well, i was 100% hands-on. Plus, I was alone with her at home during my maternal leave, so i discussed everything with her, from "when will daddy be home" to "mummy's crying because of hormonal changes" to "let's pray for whoever we see outside the window".
 With Celeste, Aunty Flo was here when she was born. And she spent almost 2 weeks in hospital.
And Glory was going through an "I only want Mama" phase and demanding so much of my attention. And whatever time i have at home at the end of a work day, i had to split my attention between two (or three, if you count munch)...

Am i shortchanging Celeste?
I don't know how much of this matters to her.
But i know i didn't like it when MY mummy explained to me why she had to spend more time on my brother than on me, even if she insisted that she loves us all equally.

I want Celeste to know and feel she is greatly loved and treasured.
And i want to know her so well, that i would be able to understand why she feels a need to throw her toys, pull my hair etc. (I'm sure deep down she is very reasonable too, i just need to understand her better.)
Which is why this weekend, Celeste is getting a hotel stay with Papa and Mama, while Glory and Charisma are staying with GongGong & PoPo.

Yups, that's her birthday celebration, and mine!

The Weekend, through a toddler's eyes

Hi, I am Glory, and I am going to tell you about my weekend.

Weekends are special because i get to see a lot of Papa, Mama, Celeste and Aunty.

This weekend started with a trip to the neighbourhood playground. There was a sandpit! I was so excited but i didn't have my pail and shovel with me. A lady with three children had shovels and pails though. They were all playing in the sandpit happily, and i really wanted to join in.
The memory of Hello Kitty's adventures flashed through my mind, and I recalled that it's NOT common protocol to barge in and shout at the children.
Plus I knew the toys did not belong to me, so i couldn't just walk right up and play.
So I asked, "Please, can i ... the pail ?"
The Aunty answered on behalf of the children that i could, so i joined in! It was so much fun!

Mummy was right! The playground is so much more fun when there are friends to play with, and it's easy to make friends when you are friendly and polite to them!

Later, i saw another girl with a dog, and i used the magic phrase "Please, can i" again to get permission to sayang her dog. The CheChe was a Caucasian and didn't quite understand what i wanted to do, but another CheChe managed to tell the Caucasian CheChe what i wanted. The dog wanted to run around, so the CheChe had to forcibly hold the dog still for me to sayang. I guess the dog didn't enjoy it as much as i did.

 I had so much fun that I decided that i wanted to sayang a bigger dog too. I tried using "Please can i..." but Papa would have none of it. Isn't Papa strange? I'm sure the nice Uncle would have let me pat the German Shepherd if i asked politely.

On Saturday morning, I went to the beach!

Check out the beautiful blue sky and lovely weather!

And this time i brought my sand-pit toys!

And, as expected, knowing my mummy, she searched out a boy on the beach without sand-pit toys, enticed him over, and made me practise offering and sharing my toys. *roll eyes*

Children of teachers have it hard, i tell you. Everything in life is a secret object lesson.

The dark brown plops you see at the lower left corner are not poo. They're castles, and they're brown because Papa got me some wet sand. Yes, Papa's pretty serious about his sandcastles. He trained me in my room, making me fill my pail with imaginary sand, fill the molds with imaginary sand, count 1-2-3 and flip the molds over, and then tap-tap-tap on the molds to loosen the (imaginary) sand.

Which makes me the best toddler sandcastle-maker on the beach that day. Wee-hee!

Celeste still can't play with sand. Or maybe mama reckons the clean-up required doesn't justify letting her play. In any case, all she did was sit on the mat and eat.

I shared my box of raisins with her, which pleased Mama no end. She took like 3 video recordings of me feeding Celeste raisins, wtf. And she kept congratulating herself on the success of some Sisterly Love Project. Get a grip, Mama, i wanted to tell her, it's just raisins! But of coz, i held my tongue. Don't want to risk the raisins being taken away.

I also blew bubbles for MeiMei to catch. Yups, it's the bubble from Jireh's birthday! I really love it! When i pull the wand out, just the sea breeze alone is enough to produce many big bubbles!!

In the picture with me is my Aunty Charisma. She surprised us by bounding up a tree. She says she can even climb up a coconut tree, and she'll show us when we go to Cebu at the end of the year.

#################################

Sunday is church day.

Church is where people gather to sing and talk about Jesus.

Jesus is a cool guy who loves children (his friends wanted to chase little children away but he stopped them. He also loves a short person hiding in a tree), loves me (this i know, for the bible tells me so), and can make a lame person walk and jump.

He's also known as God, or Lord, like when we say "Thank you Lord for the food we are about to eat Amen", we're actually talking to Jesus.

In any case, many people come to church. Like Kaijie, BenBen, Josiah, Shannon JieJie and Megan JieJie. And of coz, Godpa and Godma! =) I love seeing my friends at church!

But the waiting area's a madhouse i tell you! There are SOOOO many people! Here are some pictures i took so you can see what i mean.

check out the crowd i'm supposed to maneuver.

an uncle stops to say hi. His hair is very spiky.

Will the mosquitoes feel pain if they try to land on his hair?

Will my balloon burst?

Aunty Iris.

I told mama i like aunty iris, now whenever i meet her face to face i am too shy to say anything.

Aunty Agnes. See, i'm such a good photographer! Nice pic, right!

Ok, now gotta make a dash for it already.

Papa here?

Check.

Mama here?

Check.

Ok, i'll just follow mama's white skirt through the crowd.

Made it!

Good thing i can run so fast!

=)

Project Sisterly Love and Project Friendly Face

After a concerted family effort at inculcating sisterly love into her, Glory is now a much better CheChe.
She lovingly watches out for Celeste, and takes it upon herself to be Celeste’s spokesperson. She helps us interpret Celeste’s whining and fussing, and tells us when Celeste wants to eat/ sleep/ wants us to help her pick up the toy that she dropped for the nth time.

Here are a few loving moments...

Last Sunday, on the drive back from church, C kept dropping her rattle in the car, and I grew tired of picking it up. C fussed, and G told me “Meimei wants the rattle. Need to pick up for her.” I complained that I’ve picked it up sooooo many times already, and that C keeps dropping them, but G coolly and firmly told me “Still need to pick up.”
 -_-
Made it sound like I am the unhelpful mummy, and she the magnanimous big sister.
Another time, Glory informed us that Celeste wanted more lychee. We thought Glory was just saying that to score another lychee for herself. Munch and I exchanged looks, and decided to play along to see if our suspicions were right. But when we passed her the piece of lychee, she really tried to feed Celeste! Put us to shame. Some would even say dog eyes see people low.
On yet another occasion when Celeste was trying to cruise, Glory stood close behind her, holding out her hands, as if ready to catch Celeste should she fall. <3 So cute right? She honestly believes that her smally 11kg body is capable of holding up 8kg of Celeste!

And just last week, we took them out for a walk on their double stroller. Glory used to want the front seat – for the better view, perhaps. Now she takes the back seat so that she can watch Celeste.
Now, because the seat is quite wide, and Celeste is not all that steady yet, she has a tendency to flop all over, and might bump her head on the hard plasticy bits of the stroller.
“Mei Mei, lie down,” she instructed, “ Don’t fall down.”
Celeste being Celeste, did not heed Che Che’s advice to lie back. True enough, at the next bump, Celeste toppled over, hit her head against the plastic and started crying.



“What happened?” I asked.

“MeiMei knock her head.” Glory reported. She promptly put her little hands over the hard plastic bits so as to cushion Celeste from further knocks, and informed us, “I cover for mei mei.” And just in case we didn’t notice, she added, “So kind.”

*roll eyes*
yes, my little Glory is given to self-praise at times. Let her try on new dresses or brush her hair, and she says "So pretty." Sometimes, she even tells you out of the blue that "Glory's eyes so BIG!". She scampers along the shopping mall and informs you that she's running very fast.

Whatever.
Anyway, I hereby declare Project Sisterly Love a success!


But as much as love can be blind, love can also be manifested in the unceasing quest to “improve” a person.
I've noticed a need for a new project already – Project Friendly Face.
We took her to the playground the other day, and a little girl was telling her daddy she didn’t want to go home. “No I don’t want,” she said.
Glory immediately took her to task.

“NO I DON’T WANT!” Glory shouted back.

(????)

The other girl and her daddy stared at Glory, stunned. Munch and I were shocked too.

“NO! (insert incoherent but fierce mumble)….. DON’T BE FIERCE TO ME!” Glory continued her tirade.

Embarrassed, I quickly apologized to the girl and her daddy, and explained to Glory that the girl was not being fierce to her. Heck, she wasn’t even talking to her, she was talking to her daddy!

Agh.

Thank goodness the man was quite understanding and still tried to smile and wave at Glory. My little monster did not smile and wave back of course, but at least she stopped growling and snapping at the poor strangers.



Then I recalled that (with very few exceptions,) her instinct when meeting new kids for the first time was to put on a very hostile face, and bossily “scold” the kid, whether warranted or not! Like, the kid could merely be running past her, and he’d get a chiding. Or just look like he was going to walk towards me, and she’d rush forward, arms stretched out, ready to push him to an acceptable distance.
Ha, my personal security guard, that one.
But it really got me worried.
You know, I’ve read articles about how kids who were successful and popular at the playgrounds grew up to be successful people later on in life. It’s some EQ/ inate-leadership-quality/ charisma thingy. And I want my girls to have that!
What if she kept up with this guard-dog nonsense all through her school years? What if she had no friends? What if she was the kind of girl that when she turns up at the playground, all the boys and girls (and their parents) flee for their lives?
So last night, Project Friendly Face started.
Introducing the key players of Project Friendly Face.

Front row from left to right:

Hello Kitty, the star of the story.

Noah (of Noah's Ark fame.)

Doraemon aka Xiao Ding Dang,

Little Pony,

Noah's Che Che

( I think she was supposed to be Noah's wife, but I blurted out "Noah's Che Che" during the play, so she's Noah's Che Che ever since)

And behind them, Gingerbread Man.

The two extra Hello Kittys are not in the story.

Act 1:

Hello Kitty sees children playing together. She wants to play too. She approaches the group and shouts “NO! I DON’T WANT” , and even pushes Noah. Noah is sad and cries to his friends.

She does this to Gingerbread Man and Little Pony too.

The other kids are upset and moves away, saying they don’t want to play with Hello Kitty.

Hello Kitty is sad and goes to Glory for help.

"I want to play with the children, but i shouted and they don't want to play with me. Waa waaa waaaaaa..."

Glory genuinely looks concerned.

“Go nearer,” she suggests.

(SEE! She honestly doesn't think the fierce shouting led to the lack of friends! How? )

“Go nearer and smile and say hello?” Hello Kitty prompts.

Glory nods.

Hello Kitty goes nearer, smiles and says “Hellllloooo!!!”

All the children says hello back and they all play Ring Around the Rosy together.

Yay! They all had fun!

Act 2:

Hell Kitty sees children playing. She remembers that she should smile and say hello.

She approaches the group, smiles and says hello.

They invite her to play hide and seek with them.

They all played happily together, hiding in various parts of Glory's room.

~The End ~

Glory obviously enjoyed watching the show. She kept asking for more. You could tell from her expression she identifies with and feels for Hello Kitty's predicament.
And it was fun for Munch and me too, coz face it, the storyline was silly, and we were trying our darndest not to burst out laughing, especially at the crying scenes.
We've even got a sequel in the pipeline! Can't wait to show it to her tomorrow night!!
Haha... parenting is so much fun. =)

The best thing is, it seems like Project Friendly Face is working already! On the way home today, Glory made me backtrack to our neighbour's door so she could wave and say hi to the Grandma and Grandpa!

=) =) So friendly right!

Fingers crossed and praying hard!

;)