Do you have more than one kid?
Do you feel a pang of guilt too?
When Glory was 11+ months, she has had her first Happy Meal. She could do a chicken dance. She could ask for food in a very comprehensible way
She chased dogs and popped bubbles at the Botanic Gardens.
She had hobbies.
Celeste has been to MacDonald's too, but we're often too busy entertaining Glory and trying to keep her reasonably safe to really chat with Celeste. If we do buy a Happy Meal, chances are, Glory would get first go at the toy. Celeste would probably get a napkin or something.
Celeste has been to many picnics too... but mostly she watched Glory blow bubbles, play with boys and build castles.
When I look at my past blog entries about Glory when she was about one, it is very clear that she received very much more attention and interaction than Celeste did, and she was also very much more expressive and communicative. As in, I found her very reasonable, very understanding. Like a mini-adult. Whereas, Celeste is really a baby. She cries to get her way, scratches and pinches your face to show her displeasure, and doesn't seem to understand that i don't like her pulling my hair. With Glory, i just had to tell her twice, and she got it. From the time she was a couple of months old till today, she remembers she is not allowed to pull my hair.
I wonder if it's just that Glory is abnormally advanced. I mean, straight after she was born, she was checking out sounds, listening to Papa's singing and staring deep into my eyes, non-verbally explaining to me my duty to love and care for her for the rest of my life, and telling me it was my fault her nose was flat. Celeste, on the other hand, was a regular baby who was squiggling in my arms, wailing for the comfort of the womb.
Or perhaps.... it's actually that I have failed to connect with Celeste the same way i connected with Glory. With Glory, we started off without a domestic helper. As we didn't get a confinement nanny as well, i was 100% hands-on. Plus, I was alone with her at home during my maternal leave, so i discussed everything with her, from "when will daddy be home" to "mummy's crying because of hormonal changes" to "let's pray for whoever we see outside the window".
With Celeste, Aunty Flo was here when she was born. And she spent almost 2 weeks in hospital.
And Glory was going through an "I only want Mama" phase and demanding so much of my attention. And whatever time i have at home at the end of a work day, i had to split my attention between two (or three, if you count munch)...
Am i shortchanging Celeste?
I don't know how much of this matters to her.
But i know i didn't like it when MY mummy explained to me why she had to spend more time on my brother than on me, even if she insisted that she loves us all equally.
I want Celeste to know and feel she is greatly loved and treasured.
And i want to know her so well, that i would be able to understand why she feels a need to throw her toys, pull my hair etc. (I'm sure deep down she is very reasonable too, i just need to understand her better.)
Which is why this weekend, Celeste is getting a hotel stay with Papa and Mama, while Glory and Charisma are staying with GongGong & PoPo.
Yups, that's her birthday celebration, and mine!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Weekend, through a toddler's eyes
Hi, I am Glory, and I am going to tell you about my weekend.
Weekends are special because i get to see a lot of Papa, Mama, Celeste and Aunty.
This weekend started with a trip to the neighbourhood playground. There was a sandpit! I was so excited but i didn't have my pail and shovel with me. A lady with three children had shovels and pails though. They were all playing in the sandpit happily, and i really wanted to join in.
The memory of Hello Kitty's adventures flashed through my mind, and I recalled that it's NOT common protocol to barge in and shout at the children.
Plus I knew the toys did not belong to me, so i couldn't just walk right up and play.
So I asked, "Please, can i ... the pail ?"
The Aunty answered on behalf of the children that i could, so i joined in! It was so much fun!
Mummy was right! The playground is so much more fun when there are friends to play with, and it's easy to make friends when you are friendly and polite to them!
Later, i saw another girl with a dog, and i used the magic phrase "Please, can i" again to get permission to sayang her dog. The CheChe was a Caucasian and didn't quite understand what i wanted to do, but another CheChe managed to tell the Caucasian CheChe what i wanted. The dog wanted to run around, so the CheChe had to forcibly hold the dog still for me to sayang. I guess the dog didn't enjoy it as much as i did.
I had so much fun that I decided that i wanted to sayang a bigger dog too. I tried using "Please can i..." but Papa would have none of it. Isn't Papa strange? I'm sure the nice Uncle would have let me pat the German Shepherd if i asked politely.
On Saturday morning, I went to the beach!
This weekend started with a trip to the neighbourhood playground. There was a sandpit! I was so excited but i didn't have my pail and shovel with me. A lady with three children had shovels and pails though. They were all playing in the sandpit happily, and i really wanted to join in.
The memory of Hello Kitty's adventures flashed through my mind, and I recalled that it's NOT common protocol to barge in and shout at the children.
Plus I knew the toys did not belong to me, so i couldn't just walk right up and play.
So I asked, "Please, can i ... the pail ?"
The Aunty answered on behalf of the children that i could, so i joined in! It was so much fun!
Mummy was right! The playground is so much more fun when there are friends to play with, and it's easy to make friends when you are friendly and polite to them!
Later, i saw another girl with a dog, and i used the magic phrase "Please, can i" again to get permission to sayang her dog. The CheChe was a Caucasian and didn't quite understand what i wanted to do, but another CheChe managed to tell the Caucasian CheChe what i wanted. The dog wanted to run around, so the CheChe had to forcibly hold the dog still for me to sayang. I guess the dog didn't enjoy it as much as i did.
I had so much fun that I decided that i wanted to sayang a bigger dog too. I tried using "Please can i..." but Papa would have none of it. Isn't Papa strange? I'm sure the nice Uncle would have let me pat the German Shepherd if i asked politely.
Check out the beautiful blue sky and lovely weather!
And this time i brought my sand-pit toys!
And, as expected, knowing my mummy, she searched out a boy on the beach without sand-pit toys, enticed him over, and made me practise offering and sharing my toys. *roll eyes*
Children of teachers have it hard, i tell you. Everything in life is a secret object lesson.
The dark brown plops you see at the lower left corner are not poo. They're castles, and they're brown because Papa got me some wet sand. Yes, Papa's pretty serious about his sandcastles. He trained me in my room, making me fill my pail with imaginary sand, fill the molds with imaginary sand, count 1-2-3 and flip the molds over, and then tap-tap-tap on the molds to loosen the (imaginary) sand.
Which makes me the best toddler sandcastle-maker on the beach that day. Wee-hee!
Celeste still can't play with sand. Or maybe mama reckons the clean-up required doesn't justify letting her play. In any case, all she did was sit on the mat and eat.
I shared my box of raisins with her, which pleased Mama no end. She took like 3 video recordings of me feeding Celeste raisins, wtf. And she kept congratulating herself on the success of some Sisterly Love Project. Get a grip, Mama, i wanted to tell her, it's just raisins! But of coz, i held my tongue. Don't want to risk the raisins being taken away.
I also blew bubbles for MeiMei to catch. Yups, it's the bubble from Jireh's birthday! I really love it! When i pull the wand out, just the sea breeze alone is enough to produce many big bubbles!!
In the picture with me is my Aunty Charisma. She surprised us by bounding up a tree. She says she can even climb up a coconut tree, and she'll show us when we go to Cebu at the end of the year.
#################################
Sunday is church day.
Church is where people gather to sing and talk about Jesus.
Jesus is a cool guy who loves children (his friends wanted to chase little children away but he stopped them. He also loves a short person hiding in a tree), loves me (this i know, for the bible tells me so), and can make a lame person walk and jump.
He's also known as God, or Lord, like when we say "Thank you Lord for the food we are about to eat Amen", we're actually talking to Jesus.
In any case, many people come to church. Like Kaijie, BenBen, Josiah, Shannon JieJie and Megan JieJie. And of coz, Godpa and Godma! =) I love seeing my friends at church!
But the waiting area's a madhouse i tell you! There are SOOOO many people! Here are some pictures i took so you can see what i mean.
check out the crowd i'm supposed to maneuver.
an uncle stops to say hi. His hair is very spiky.
Will the mosquitoes feel pain if they try to land on his hair?
Will my balloon burst?
Aunty Iris.
I told mama i like aunty iris, now whenever i meet her face to face i am too shy to say anything.
Aunty Agnes. See, i'm such a good photographer! Nice pic, right!
Ok, now gotta make a dash for it already.
Papa here?
Check.
Mama here?
Check.
Ok, i'll just follow mama's white skirt through the crowd.
Made it!
Good thing i can run so fast!
=)
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Project Sisterly Love and Project Friendly Face
After a concerted family effort at inculcating sisterly love into her, Glory is now a much better CheChe.
She lovingly watches out for Celeste, and takes it upon herself to be Celeste’s spokesperson. She helps us interpret Celeste’s whining and fussing, and tells us when Celeste wants to eat/ sleep/ wants us to help her pick up the toy that she dropped for the nth time.
Here are a few loving moments...
Last Sunday, on the drive back from church, C kept dropping her rattle in the car, and I grew tired of picking it up. C fussed, and G told me “Meimei wants the rattle. Need to pick up for her.” I complained that I’ve picked it up sooooo many times already, and that C keeps dropping them, but G coolly and firmly told me “Still need to pick up.”
-_-
Made it sound like I am the unhelpful mummy, and she the magnanimous big sister.
Another time, Glory informed us that Celeste wanted more lychee. We thought Glory was just saying that to score another lychee for herself. Munch and I exchanged looks, and decided to play along to see if our suspicions were right. But when we passed her the piece of lychee, she really tried to feed Celeste! Put us to shame. Some would even say dog eyes see people low.
On yet another occasion when Celeste was trying to cruise, Glory stood close behind her, holding out her hands, as if ready to catch Celeste should she fall. <3 So cute right? She honestly believes that her smally 11kg body is capable of holding up 8kg of Celeste!
And just last week, we took them out for a walk on their double stroller. Glory used to want the front seat – for the better view, perhaps. Now she takes the back seat so that she can watch Celeste.
Now, because the seat is quite wide, and Celeste is not all that steady yet, she has a tendency to flop all over, and might bump her head on the hard plasticy bits of the stroller.
“Mei Mei, lie down,” she instructed, “ Don’t fall down.”
Celeste being Celeste, did not heed Che Che’s advice to lie back. True enough, at the next bump, Celeste toppled over, hit her head against the plastic and started crying.
“What happened?” I asked.
“MeiMei knock her head.” Glory reported. She promptly put her little hands over the hard plastic bits so as to cushion Celeste from further knocks, and informed us, “I cover for mei mei.” And just in case we didn’t notice, she added, “So kind.”
*roll eyes*
yes, my little Glory is given to self-praise at times. Let her try on new dresses or brush her hair, and she says "So pretty." Sometimes, she even tells you out of the blue that "Glory's eyes so BIG!". She scampers along the shopping mall and informs you that she's running very fast.
Whatever.
Anyway, I hereby declare Project Sisterly Love a success!
But as much as love can be blind, love can also be manifested in the unceasing quest to “improve” a person.
I've noticed a need for a new project already – Project Friendly Face.
We took her to the playground the other day, and a little girl was telling her daddy she didn’t want to go home. “No I don’t want,” she said.
Glory immediately took her to task.
“NO I DON’T WANT!” Glory shouted back.
(????)
The other girl and her daddy stared at Glory, stunned. Munch and I were shocked too.
“NO! (insert incoherent but fierce mumble)….. DON’T BE FIERCE TO ME!” Glory continued her tirade.
Embarrassed, I quickly apologized to the girl and her daddy, and explained to Glory that the girl was not being fierce to her. Heck, she wasn’t even talking to her, she was talking to her daddy!
Agh.
Thank goodness the man was quite understanding and still tried to smile and wave at Glory. My little monster did not smile and wave back of course, but at least she stopped growling and snapping at the poor strangers.
Then I recalled that (with very few exceptions,) her instinct when meeting new kids for the first time was to put on a very hostile face, and bossily “scold” the kid, whether warranted or not! Like, the kid could merely be running past her, and he’d get a chiding. Or just look like he was going to walk towards me, and she’d rush forward, arms stretched out, ready to push him to an acceptable distance.
Ha, my personal security guard, that one.
But it really got me worried.
You know, I’ve read articles about how kids who were successful and popular at the playgrounds grew up to be successful people later on in life. It’s some EQ/ inate-leadership-quality/ charisma thingy. And I want my girls to have that!
What if she kept up with this guard-dog nonsense all through her school years? What if she had no friends? What if she was the kind of girl that when she turns up at the playground, all the boys and girls (and their parents) flee for their lives?
So last night, Project Friendly Face started.
Introducing the key players of Project Friendly Face.
Glory genuinely looks concerned.
“Go nearer and smile and say hello?” Hello Kitty prompts.
Yay! They all had fun!
They all played happily together, hiding in various parts of Glory's room.
Glory obviously enjoyed watching the show. She kept asking for more. You could tell from her expression she identifies with and feels for Hello Kitty's predicament.
And it was fun for Munch and me too, coz face it, the storyline was silly, and we were trying our darndest not to burst out laughing, especially at the crying scenes.
We've even got a sequel in the pipeline! Can't wait to show it to her tomorrow night!!
Haha... parenting is so much fun. =)
She lovingly watches out for Celeste, and takes it upon herself to be Celeste’s spokesperson. She helps us interpret Celeste’s whining and fussing, and tells us when Celeste wants to eat/ sleep/ wants us to help her pick up the toy that she dropped for the nth time.
Here are a few loving moments...
Last Sunday, on the drive back from church, C kept dropping her rattle in the car, and I grew tired of picking it up. C fussed, and G told me “Meimei wants the rattle. Need to pick up for her.” I complained that I’ve picked it up sooooo many times already, and that C keeps dropping them, but G coolly and firmly told me “Still need to pick up.”
-_-
Made it sound like I am the unhelpful mummy, and she the magnanimous big sister.
Another time, Glory informed us that Celeste wanted more lychee. We thought Glory was just saying that to score another lychee for herself. Munch and I exchanged looks, and decided to play along to see if our suspicions were right. But when we passed her the piece of lychee, she really tried to feed Celeste! Put us to shame. Some would even say dog eyes see people low.
On yet another occasion when Celeste was trying to cruise, Glory stood close behind her, holding out her hands, as if ready to catch Celeste should she fall. <3 So cute right? She honestly believes that her smally 11kg body is capable of holding up 8kg of Celeste!
And just last week, we took them out for a walk on their double stroller. Glory used to want the front seat – for the better view, perhaps. Now she takes the back seat so that she can watch Celeste.
Now, because the seat is quite wide, and Celeste is not all that steady yet, she has a tendency to flop all over, and might bump her head on the hard plasticy bits of the stroller.
“Mei Mei, lie down,” she instructed, “ Don’t fall down.”
Celeste being Celeste, did not heed Che Che’s advice to lie back. True enough, at the next bump, Celeste toppled over, hit her head against the plastic and started crying.
“What happened?” I asked.
“MeiMei knock her head.” Glory reported. She promptly put her little hands over the hard plastic bits so as to cushion Celeste from further knocks, and informed us, “I cover for mei mei.” And just in case we didn’t notice, she added, “So kind.”
*roll eyes*
yes, my little Glory is given to self-praise at times. Let her try on new dresses or brush her hair, and she says "So pretty." Sometimes, she even tells you out of the blue that "Glory's eyes so BIG!". She scampers along the shopping mall and informs you that she's running very fast.
Whatever.
Anyway, I hereby declare Project Sisterly Love a success!
But as much as love can be blind, love can also be manifested in the unceasing quest to “improve” a person.
I've noticed a need for a new project already – Project Friendly Face.
We took her to the playground the other day, and a little girl was telling her daddy she didn’t want to go home. “No I don’t want,” she said.
Glory immediately took her to task.
“NO I DON’T WANT!” Glory shouted back.
(????)
The other girl and her daddy stared at Glory, stunned. Munch and I were shocked too.
“NO! (insert incoherent but fierce mumble)….. DON’T BE FIERCE TO ME!” Glory continued her tirade.
Embarrassed, I quickly apologized to the girl and her daddy, and explained to Glory that the girl was not being fierce to her. Heck, she wasn’t even talking to her, she was talking to her daddy!
Agh.
Thank goodness the man was quite understanding and still tried to smile and wave at Glory. My little monster did not smile and wave back of course, but at least she stopped growling and snapping at the poor strangers.
Then I recalled that (with very few exceptions,) her instinct when meeting new kids for the first time was to put on a very hostile face, and bossily “scold” the kid, whether warranted or not! Like, the kid could merely be running past her, and he’d get a chiding. Or just look like he was going to walk towards me, and she’d rush forward, arms stretched out, ready to push him to an acceptable distance.
Ha, my personal security guard, that one.
But it really got me worried.
You know, I’ve read articles about how kids who were successful and popular at the playgrounds grew up to be successful people later on in life. It’s some EQ/ inate-leadership-quality/ charisma thingy. And I want my girls to have that!
What if she kept up with this guard-dog nonsense all through her school years? What if she had no friends? What if she was the kind of girl that when she turns up at the playground, all the boys and girls (and their parents) flee for their lives?
So last night, Project Friendly Face started.
Introducing the key players of Project Friendly Face.
Front row from left to right:
Hello Kitty, the star of the story.
Noah (of Noah's Ark fame.)
Doraemon aka Xiao Ding Dang,
Little Pony,
Noah's Che Che
( I think she was supposed to be Noah's wife, but I blurted out "Noah's Che Che" during the play, so she's Noah's Che Che ever since)
And behind them, Gingerbread Man.
The two extra Hello Kittys are not in the story.
Act 1:
Hello Kitty sees children playing together. She wants to play too. She approaches the group and shouts “NO! I DON’T WANT” , and even pushes Noah. Noah is sad and cries to his friends.
She does this to Gingerbread Man and Little Pony too.
The other kids are upset and moves away, saying they don’t want to play with Hello Kitty.
Hello Kitty is sad and goes to Glory for help.
"I want to play with the children, but i shouted and they don't want to play with me. Waa waaa waaaaaa..."Glory genuinely looks concerned.
“Go nearer,” she suggests.
(SEE! She honestly doesn't think the fierce shouting led to the lack of friends! How? )
“Go nearer and smile and say hello?” Hello Kitty prompts.
Glory nods.
Hello Kitty goes nearer, smiles and says “Hellllloooo!!!”
All the children says hello back and they all play Ring Around the Rosy together.
Yay! They all had fun!
Act 2:
Hell Kitty sees children playing. She remembers that she should smile and say hello.
She approaches the group, smiles and says hello.
They invite her to play hide and seek with them.
~The End ~
Glory obviously enjoyed watching the show. She kept asking for more. You could tell from her expression she identifies with and feels for Hello Kitty's predicament.
And it was fun for Munch and me too, coz face it, the storyline was silly, and we were trying our darndest not to burst out laughing, especially at the crying scenes.
We've even got a sequel in the pipeline! Can't wait to show it to her tomorrow night!!
Haha... parenting is so much fun. =)
The best thing is, it seems like Project Friendly Face is working already! On the way home today, Glory made me backtrack to our neighbour's door so she could wave and say hi to the Grandma and Grandpa!
=) =) So friendly right!
Fingers crossed and praying hard!
;)
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