Malu.

Phone with a missing button. (Still usable, why change?)
Ripped sweater with holes on the sleeves and seams. (Maybe no one will notice?)
Dust-covered dress from a decade ago. (Maybe people will think that this is SUPPOSED to be a LIGHT burgundy dress?)
Hospital toiletry bag as a purse. (Maybe it can pass off as a translucent purse?)
That's what i wore/ held when i went for a course recently.



i'm so embarrassing aren't i.

11.11.2009

We've moved Celeste's bed to her own room the night before, and at 7:30pm, she was drifting off to sleep.

Glory's room was dimmed, and florencia was tucking her in. We could hear Glory chatting and chuckling away.

Kids in order, we left for our anniversary dinner.

It's been a long time since we last had a quiet, unrushed dinner. No toddler to entertain or feed, no baby to tend to, no bedtime routine to rush for - just time for us to slowly enjoy each others' company. 

Munch made reservations at Buono, an Italian restaurant tucked in a quiet corner at Serangoon Gardens. We had Portobello mushrooms, seafood risotto and gnocchi (italian mee hoon kuay?) which came with a fly camouflaged as ground black pepper, so we had it changed to a 4 mushrooms pizza. A lava cake came complimentary, on account of the fly. The food was good, the place was nice, service was good, and to top it all off, we had a lovely time chatting.

Pastor Tiak had just sent us a copy of our wedding exhortation (so cute hor, our pastor ) , and we were gonna discuss it over dinner. Yeah, i like evaluations and reflections. =P 

The Six Areas to Building a Strong Marriage.

1. Conflict Resolution - doing fine. We both realized i get very uptight about road safety. Ok... not that he's a terribly unsafe driver la, just that i am really very finicky about it. Just dread the thought of ever hurting some innocent folks and causing grieve to their family members due to our rashness. So i'd very much rather crawl along at 50-60 kmh and patiently drive behind a turtle, than to overtake unnecessarily.

Munch agreed safety is important, and i have to be careful not to get too flustered over his driving. 

2. Roles and Responsibilities. We have failed to allocate, so we spent some time deciding on each person's roles. In the end, we came to such a cliché, gender-typed conclusion it's embarrassing! Munch's taking care of the major,  "manly"  things like car, bills, insurance and household repairs and maintenance. I'm in charge of guniang things like school fees/enrichment/education, childcare, maidcare and groceries.

3. Money - Need to give more. And we've got a family project coming up!!! =) Excited!!

4. Communication - doing fine. 

5. Sex - two kids in three years, whaddya think?

6. In-laws (Honouring in laws like your own parents) - We've been visiting weekly, but need to build more meaningful relationships, more than just polite talk. How? Well, for a start, just increase amount of polite talk ba... Ay, considering how afraid of them i was before, i've come a long way ok! =P

Pastor Tiak closed off his exhortation with this:

"Children. All i want to say is this: may God bless you with many children in his good time."

Kekekek. =) 

We'll see. 

The Honest Truth

I was clearing my desk today and found some old stickers.
I brought them back for Glory - she loves stickers.
I gave her one.

"Cheh-cheh!" she exclaimed, upon receiving the sticker.
Thinking she was referring to something else, i looked around the room and found no picture of a little girl.
"Is this cheh cheh?" I asked her, pointing to the sticker i just gave her.
She leaned forward to take a closer look.
"Nooooo," was her answer, "Aunty!" she declared.

And here's the picture.

Aunty Beckham.

With that hair and pretty-boy face, you can't blame the girl.

Studying

I'm at it again.
I'm itching to study.

Perhaps it's because i feel unstretched. After 6 years (... i think... i lost count...) of teaching, i have become very comfortable with my duties. Perhaps too comfortable. That i can't even remember how many years i've been teaching speaks for itself... each year is beginning to feel more and more like the previous one. Or perhaps i feel "unstretched" because for a good 7 months in the past 2 years, i've been on maternity leave, and while my flesh luuurrrved it, my mind has not been working out enough.

Whatever the reason, I'm getting stale professionally... i long to have new theories to ponder over, new ideas to be excited about, new projects to work on.

i want to study.

Taking unpaid leave is out of the question. We can't afford that now with 2 kids, a maid and a car. Plus i still want to go travelling.
Studying at night seems to be the only option - but is it worthwhile, taking away time from family and ministry? Or should i just forget about getting a masters degree, and just read the odd book to keep myself vaguely satisfied?

As i continue thinking about that, my daughter is about to live my dreams for me. That's what every unfulfilled parent with unfinshed dreams do isn't it - impose their desires on offsprings?

That's right. Glory's going to school come December.

She's growing up fast, that one.

I read that at 18 months, an average toddler does about 20 words. At 17 months, Glory's way above that!

It's fun observing the way she articulates her thoughts.
She started off with nouns, labelling things she sees and hears, and some verbs. Eg. car, thunder, echo, eyebrow.
She recognizes shapes - circle, square, diamond, oval... but she calls crescent "moon", and her pronunciation is still quite baby-ish)
Letters and numbers (hasn't mastered it yet tho. about 75% accuracy. on good days. on bad days, she doesn't bother looking but randomly rattles off letters patronisingly)
Colours.  (on bad days, every colour is blue)

Now she's using adjectives, nouns, verbs to get her ideas across better.
Eg.

• When we walk out on a sunny day: Sun, bright, eyes. (and for effect, she squints)
  
• When we're waiting for papa to get the car from the carpark: Papa. Noooo. Wait. Papa, car, red.
  
• When she sees someone crying: Cry, waahhh, pat-pat. Eyes, wet, sayang
  
• When she wants to be carried but i'm carrying Celeste: Put there(points to rocker), Meimei. Please bao-bao.
  

She likes to give instructions: "come", "sit down", "take out" (remove seat belts, take out toys etc), "put there", "pat pat". She sounded too bossy, so we quickly taught her to say please. And she immediately put it to good use.

Check out the way she says "Please bao-bao".

Step One. Grab a leg. Look up with her large eyes. Say, "Please baobao"

Step Two. If adult does not bao bao immediately, look sad and puppy-like. Squat, and repeat request, preferably with a sad, emotive voice. (she can do this really well. her voice cracks with emotion, and sometimes she can even make her eyes water!)

Step Three. (Last Resort) Sit and repeat request. Works best when the floor is dirty.


How to say no?

Dreams... to reality?

I dreamt about it again.
I was visiting kids, going down the row, unit by unit.
But the houses were different - not HDB flats, but more slum-like.
And every unit had at least one child, i remember being very pleased with that.
And as i went along, the children from each unit would tag along as i visited the next unit, so more and more kids were coming along.
Until i came to the house of Ruffy/ Rufus. He obviously had a bad rep, coz as i was chatting with him, parents of the other kids came along and warned me about that family. From the way the other kids buzzed, i could tell that he probably got into trouble a lot.
I felt bad that the little boy had to hear all these nasty things said about him, as if he wasn't there, as if he couldn't understand. He didn't answer back, hardly even reacted, as if by pretending he couldn't hear, he could protect himself. Then  i noticed his dad, Mr Sammy, sitting in the shadows nearby. Sitting still, hoping he would not be noticed, perhaps also thinking that if he acted like he didn't hear, he wouldn't have to deal with the hurtful words.
I made a note to come back to Mr Sammy's place after official visitations, and hurried the kids over to the next house so as not to prolong Mr Sammy and Ruffy's sufferings.
But i noticed that Ruffy was tagging along too, and was pleased...
* * *
Some dreams don't go away.
They're probably meant to stay.
I haven't forgotten.

A generation of God-loving children who would be a blessing to all.
And, maybe, next stop, India?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

On a lighter note... have you heard?
I wanna have four kids!
One more girl, whom i'll name Desiree, and a boy, Elijah.
So that we'll have a family straight flush of sorts.
Celeste, Desiree, Elijah, (Faith), Glory.
It's kinda hard to make it all the way to M(unch), so i think 4 kids will have to do.

When?

We'll start when i make my first USD50 000 on forex trading.
;)
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