Yes, motherhood does that to you.
And it does something to the head too.
***
I was at the gynae's for a postnatal check, and all around me were pregnant ladies. There was a couple who were there for their final prenatal visit - they were asking about what to bring to the hospital, and were reminded to return for their postnatal check after being discharged.
There's just something so sweetly nostalgic in that scene...
The sense of anticipation, knowing someone beautiful is coming. Your child, your very own baby.
A sense of not knowing what to expect - perhaps a little apprehension and fear, mixed with excitement...
the unsaid-but-strong feeling of mutual love and dependence between husband and wife, the security and comfort of knowing that we're in it together...
Followed by the adventure of childbirth, where you can never fully know what is going to happen, where the painful travailing is strangely sweet and satisfying...
Then THE MOMENT when you first lay eyes on her, when you first hold her.
Then the euphoria after (partly drug-induced, i suspect) , which somehow gives you energy to SMS the news of the decade to the entire world, no matter how much your body has been through just moments before...
Yups... all those thoughts came flashing by as i watched the couple at the counter.
And i felt my eyes misting up.
I felt a little wistful.. and envious, strangely, that i would not be experiencing that again.
See, something HAS happened to my head hasn't it? Didn't i used to rage against pregnancy and childbirth? Didn't i accuse mothers of saying motherhood's worthwhile only as a pathetic attempt to console themselves? What HAS happened to me?
I really don't know. But i think i have succumbed. I..i...i... i'm gonna say it.
i enjoy being a mother.
i think i even enjoy pregnancy (at least the non-nausea portions).
And i think... motherhood's worthwhile.
_ _ _
But we are stopping at two - at least that's our current plan.
For very practical reasons.
And i suspect this is why our national birth rate is so low.
$$$$$$$$$$
1. Prenatal gynae visits + delivery (wipes out the cash component of baby bonus)
2. Healthcare costs in Singapore. I never gave healthcare costs much thought until this year, when celeste was in and out of hospital for a month. It really pinches. As it is, munch and i are both tertiary educated, both working, and we have no other financial obligations. I can only imagine how hard it must be for people who are living on a single income/ have aged and sick parents/ faced with chronic illnesses. Paediatricians charge A LOT. And don't even suggest polyclinics and govt hospitals. Recent experiences have convinced me that in Singapore, good health care doesn't come cheap, and it doesn't come at govt polyclinics/hospitals.
3. Cost of living. With 2 kids, and with grandparents unavailable to care for them, we'll need to send Glory to childcare, in addition to having a maid to care for Celeste. And if i have three kids? Get another maid? Send Celeste to childcare as well? Stop working and be a SAHM? But then, with three kids, we do need the dual income. Yet it is too ridiculous to work the whole day only to spend all your money paying for others to take care of your kids.
We need a car - yes it's a need. For safety, the kids have to be in car seats, and cabs don't have them. And for 3 kids, our little Swift is definitely not enough. Which means we'd need to get a bigger car. Which is expensive in Singapore.
So you see, the spirit is willing but the pocket is weak.
Therefore, my suggestions to improve the Baby Bonus Scheme:
1. Govt to pay for delivery of babies, private healthcare, childcare.
2. Paid maternity leave of 4 years, instead of 4 months. Fathers can share in it too.
3. Car give-away. You receive a small car for your first child. With subsequent children, you get a free upgrade to a bigger car.
Sure work de.
Everybody would be making babies day and night if my suggestions are implemented.
Then our birth rate would DEFINITELY go up.
What about the economy/ workplace productivity? Dun worry, i've already thought about that!
We have a lot of foreign talents mah!
They can do the work at a lower cost, thus sustaining the economy. They'll work, we'll make babies, and together we grow =)
Not only that, when the foreign talents see that Singaporeans are getting the better deal, they'd then apply to be citizens!
SEE!!! Kill so many birds with one stone!
***
Told you motherhood's done something to my head ;)
Aren't you glad i'm currently a housewife and not, like, the president or something?
