It's so hard to say goodbye...

A heartbreaking sight...
As Aunty walked into the departure gate, Glory seemed to understand the significance of it.
"Aunty Aiyah!" she called, voice breaking with emotions.
Aunty waved, wiping her tears away.
"Aunty Aiyah! Aunty Aiyah!" Glory cried, pointing for me to follow Aunty through the gate as well. Tears were flowing down her cheeks by now, but she wasn't bawling. Persistently she continued calling for Aunty - Aunty always answered, didn't she?
But not this time, she couldn't. The glass wall between Glory and Florencia was insurmountable this time, not like the safety-gate at the door of her room. And it was permanent, not like the games of hide-and-seek or Peekaboos.

 I explained that we couldn't enter, as we weren't taking a plane.
"Aunty take airplane," Glory recited. "Go to Fee Peen Peen. Aunty go home."
We've been trying to prepare her, so we told her Aunty was taking airplane to Philippines, Aunty was going home, Aunty wants to see her own Babies.

My heart broke for Glory... i don't know how much of Goodbye she understood, much less Goodbye Forever. Aunty came into our home when Glory was 7 months old - still toothless, still unable to sit, unable to speak. Aunty took care of Glory when we were at work, Aunty came along for her healthchecks and jabs, Aunty fed her medicine, and bathed her. Aunty propped her up like a tripod to practice sitting, Aunty practiced walking with her when Mummy was too pregnant to, Aunty made milk for her and cooked for her. Aunty was so much a part of her daily routine, I don't think she can even remember life without Aunty.

As we left the airport, Glory was momentarily distracted by Ronald McDonald, birds and clouds, but she was silent the entire ride back home. As we reached home, she seemed to expect Aunty to be back at home. "Aunty Aiyah" she called, as if Aunty would open the door and greet her. When we said Aunty's going home, did she think Aunty was going back to our home?

Sigh.
Poor kid.

She hasn't gotten used to New Aunty yet.
I hope she does.
We're taking her to the zoo tomorrow to cheer her up, and also to get her better acquainted with New Aunty.

The painful thing is that even if she does grow to love New Aunty as well, one day she'll still have to say goodbye.

:(

You're the red that turns my blue purple!

Perhaps it's the newly loaded timetable, and the unpleasant issues surrounding it.
Perhaps it's the issue with Flor - having to send her back, and the discomfiture it necessarily entails.
Perhaps it's the worry about how the new helper would be like, and how Glory will take the changes.
Perhaps it's the tiredness of the past week - long workdays and nights.
Perhaps it's the doubts i started having about Glory's school - she seems increasingly neglected there, with the falls, increased whining, and soiled diapers that went unnoticed.
Perhaps it's Celeste's slight fever, and the general warning that HFMD may be coming around.

Whatever it is, or maybe it's a combination of everything, the blues are here.
With a vengeance.
Even a whole bottle of pineapple tarts couldn't help it.

I'm just trying to get through the day...
* * *
Thinking of my babies makes it better though.

Glory's such a laugh.
Yesterday, she put my breast-feeding bib over herself, and told Celeste, "Meimei, hide here!" indicating for Celeste to go under the bib.
Apparently, all the while i was breastfeeding Celeste, Glory thought we were playing Hide-and-Seek.

Celeste couldn't oblige, obviously, so Glory continued calling Celeste.
"MeiMei, meimei"
Of course, Celeste did not answer.
Exasperated, Glory exclaimed, "MEI MEI!!! JIEJIE CALLING YOU!"

She's a bossy one, this jiejie.
* * *
Celeste is a bliss to cuddle! She's so affectionate too, stroking our faces, talking and gurgling and cooing to us. In the mornings, after her morning milk, she would roll over onto her tummy, study my sleepy face and occasionally lean her head on my body. She would break into a sweet smile when i open my eyes and our eyes meet.
It's so sweet the way she makes herself comfortable on your body. She'll somehow suss out the most comfortable spots and drape herself all over you, resting her head delicately and trustingly... and all you could think is "Awwwww... i love this baby." and you just want to hug her and protect her all the days of her life.

And her first two teeth are starting to show!
* * *
Yups, absolutely delightful, my babies.
They are the reds that turn my blue purple,
or the yellows that turn my blue green.
Or the whites that turn my blue into a pretty sky.

You get the drift.

Don't Bluff Me.

Was reading an article by one of my favourite local writers, and in it, there was a slight jab at Christianity, along the lines that it was silly for the Bible to say money was the root of all evil.
I pointed out to her that the bible actually says that the LOVE of money is the root of ALL KINDS OF evil, which brings a rather different meaning.
I thought she wasn't aware of the misquote and misinterpretation, you see.
I thought if i pointed that out to her very politely and gently, she would be realise she had maligned the Holy Book, and ... i don't know...come to love the Bible?
When she replied, she simply agreed that the verse has very often been misquoted, and that Confucious has often been misquoted too.
Apart from the silly feeling of delight that she actually read my email and bothered to reply ( oh yeah, i'm a groupie at heart.) i was struck by the fact that it didn't seem all that important to her that her article contained inaccuracies. More than that, i was struck by the fact that she seemed to KNOW she was misquoting the Bible, but felt it ok if she could use the misquote to pepper up her writing.
Of course, she didn't need to accord the same awe and reverance to the bible as Christians do. Of course, as a writer, she takes the artistic license to paint the world through her lenses. I suppose, from her point of view, it is no different from, say, writing in incomplete sentences to bring across a particular emotion.
It nagged at me though, that to the man in the street, to the folks on the net who read her writings but haven't investigated the bible, the Bible is further and further obscured.
- - -
It happened again on Total Defence Day. The sirens were sounded to commemorate the fall of Singapore to the Japs during World War 2 at noon. This time, one of my favourite bloggers/writers twittered "What kind of f**kwit decides to test the civil defence alarm on the second day of Chinese New Year?"
He knew what it really was lah.
He just wanted to jab at them.
But if you weren't aware of Total Defence Day, wouldn't you come to the conclusion that the SCDF/the government/ "they" are really moronic f**kwit?
See, again, purposely misrepresent.
- - -
Then i wondered... why am i so anal about it?
Is it out of a sense of loyalty to God? Perhaps.
But it couldn't possibly be that i had a sense of loyalty to SCDF right?

I suppose it is because i always thought everyone speaks and writes what they TRULY believed. In my mind, creative distortions were only allowed when writing fiction, and they had to be clearly labelled as fiction.

It's not like we are going to take one article or one tweet and base our worldview on it.
But when all around us, every word is a mixture of half-truth and peppered-up personal opinions, we will subconsciusly form our beliefs based on these shaky rocks wouldn't we?

Ha, I'm such a prude!!
- - -

But that aside, it really seems like everyone has taken to fibbing.
The maid agency, on why my helper was transferred.
The students, on why they were using their phones in class.
The teachers...
When writing testimonials, amongst other things... ;)

- - -