This week is one of THOSE weeks.
Term Three means school is a mad house.
Add on leaders' meetings, home visits, sports club, P&P, CG means every night is packed too.
Today, after yet another (u-i) meeting in school, and faced with many undone tasks, i was really reluctant to go for home visits.
Agh! Can i just backslide for one evening? Let me catch up with my work!
But of coz God said no. Duh.
As i shuffled resignedly to the loo and back, ready to pack up and go, my day turned for the better.
A friend who has been visiting Brighton said he's "glad that he has his friends at Brighton." As he spoke about the friends he has made there, and that he's happy there, my tiredness lifted.
Indeed, I am thankful too! Perhaps after having been in the church for so long, i forget to be appreciative of my brothers and sisters in church. Now that he's mentioned it, yeah! I'm thankful for the Brightonites!
Then he shared about his (tentative) walk with God. =) =) =) It's very happifying and encouraging! Go ask him abt it!!
Greatly cheered and feeling that life was worth living and all was not futile, i made my way to MacPherson.
And i'm glad i did. Saw the fear and pain in my children. Saw the harshness of their lives.
And D&d have both lost weight. =(
As munch n i spent the night with them, we learnt about the recent events in their lives, how school has been, their best friends, best moments, worst moments, their tears...
d hid and watched and cried when their parents fought.
she didn't have and poster colour for art lesson.
but someone shared with her and she made a new best-friend.
some days she doesn't take lunch.
some days she doesn't have dinner.
D spoke about fights in class.
And about gangsters and beers and smoking.
And he's 10.
i wish i could always ensure they have their meals.
I wish i could sit and listen to them every day.
I wish i could watch them everyday, to make sure they don't get into fights and the wrong company.
But i can't.
They're mine, but they're not mine.
sigh.
They ate, we prayed together, then we brought them home.
They're not mine, but they're God's.
And He can watch over them all the time.
Then i wondered...
an hour with them seem so much more fruitful than... errrmm... that 2 hours meeting i just had. In fact... it could even be more fruitful than the 12 hours i just spent in school! One day i am soooo gonna query the Singapore education system.
And i wondered...
There are self-help groups and charities and RCs and stuff... does organising stuff, setting up groups enable these people to be helped more effectively? Or does it just result in bureaucracy, inefficiencies, impersonal policies that purport to solve problems without recognizing that each problem is different?
And i wondered...
Does the "total household income" magically reveal the needs of a family? How many parents are unable to cope with parenthood? How many children are suffering for their parents' ignorance?
And i wondered...
Why do "they" spend so much effort decorating the estate for a visit by a minister? Shouldn't the minister be the one sitting on the broken sofas of the households, listening to the real stories?
***
How about we all spend a little less time on fanciful stuff?
How about we all spend a little less time glorifying ourselves?
How about we all take a look at the children, a really good look?
***
Kidz Team, we must do it ok?
Because they are precious.
They belong to God and we're taking care of the King's Kids.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Shrewdness... a step up? a step down?
Been reading "The Singapore Story" by MM Lee (yeah... i know...) and i was struck by his shrewdness.
It's easy for us simple folks to take the moral high ground and berate shrewdness and cunning as being insincere, untruthful, manipulative. It's easier for us simple folks to join the taxi-drivers and coffee-shop talkers in lambasting the GST-hikes, ministerial salary hikes, Integrated Resorts plans (which i do intend to continue denouncing...).
After all, speaking for the underdog, and being sincere, honest and simple have timeless appeal. Our hearts simply long for that because we were created to desire beauty, love and adventure.
But when i read and observe what MM Lee had accomplished, i think shrewdness can actually be quite a profitable trait.
Take for example his battle to stabilize and establish post-colonial Singapore. Yoking with pro-Communists to gain a foothold, then playing against them to gain another rung. Had i been a communist in that era, I would have despised him! It would have been one of those issues that would fire up my belly, one of those issues that i would have loved to speak against, i would have considered his methods low, and his character suspect!
But, assuming communism is bad and capitalism is good (as is the popular assumption today), he's actually quite the hero!
In contrast, my tools have always been the simple ones - love and pure intentions, prayer and earnestness. I truly believe that with every wayward kid, teen, even adult offender, these tools will bring a change.
Hehe... which may appear as foolishness to many, coz every "scolding" i try to give my students end up being a form of "Don't you know i love you? Don't you know you are precious? Come on! Change! You're made of better stuff and made for better stuff!"
It doesn't yield immediate visible behavioural results, but i really believe that's the way to go. And when they repeatedly misbehave? I honestly think the thing to do is to pray harder for them. (But this has resulted in my new AFI. Yikes. It stings a little, but well, I've gotta think about that and pray about that and change my methods if God convicts me.)
Maybe my methods really need some refinement. Is it because I'm too much of an idealist? too simplistic? In comparison i am such a .... bulldozer.
Problem: Delinquent child
Solution: Smother him with love.
Problem: Immoral society
Solution: Surround the people with bible teachings.
Issue: Casino
My argument: Don't argue anymore about economic gains and limiting impact- it simply won't be fruitful and beneficial coz God can't be for it.
Issue: Homosexuality
My argument: Love the homosexual person. As for the act, God says cannot. And that settles it.
Haiz. My lack of shrewdness is apparent. My distaste for strategies and plans is apparent.
Score board for CGs? Welcome-Action Cards??
Shudder...
Managing other people's impression of me? Networking?
Shudder.....
But maybe - just maybe- they can help achieve the goals without desecrating the purity of motives?
Is shrewdness and sincerity mutually exclusive? How much blessing that shrewdness will bring, if coupled with pure love and sincere motives and good intentions!Is that what Jesus meant by being as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves?
Perhaps shrewdness would be to carry that goal in the heart instead of on the lips. Then with the lips and hands, do all that is necessary to attain that goal.
But the goal has got to be from God, and the hands and lips have to be seasoned with love and grace. Otherwise, i'd just be a terrorist or a bigot or a tyrant or something.
It's easy for us simple folks to take the moral high ground and berate shrewdness and cunning as being insincere, untruthful, manipulative. It's easier for us simple folks to join the taxi-drivers and coffee-shop talkers in lambasting the GST-hikes, ministerial salary hikes, Integrated Resorts plans (which i do intend to continue denouncing...).
After all, speaking for the underdog, and being sincere, honest and simple have timeless appeal. Our hearts simply long for that because we were created to desire beauty, love and adventure.
But when i read and observe what MM Lee had accomplished, i think shrewdness can actually be quite a profitable trait.
Take for example his battle to stabilize and establish post-colonial Singapore. Yoking with pro-Communists to gain a foothold, then playing against them to gain another rung. Had i been a communist in that era, I would have despised him! It would have been one of those issues that would fire up my belly, one of those issues that i would have loved to speak against, i would have considered his methods low, and his character suspect!
But, assuming communism is bad and capitalism is good (as is the popular assumption today), he's actually quite the hero!
In contrast, my tools have always been the simple ones - love and pure intentions, prayer and earnestness. I truly believe that with every wayward kid, teen, even adult offender, these tools will bring a change.
Hehe... which may appear as foolishness to many, coz every "scolding" i try to give my students end up being a form of "Don't you know i love you? Don't you know you are precious? Come on! Change! You're made of better stuff and made for better stuff!"
It doesn't yield immediate visible behavioural results, but i really believe that's the way to go. And when they repeatedly misbehave? I honestly think the thing to do is to pray harder for them. (But this has resulted in my new AFI. Yikes. It stings a little, but well, I've gotta think about that and pray about that and change my methods if God convicts me.)
Maybe my methods really need some refinement. Is it because I'm too much of an idealist? too simplistic? In comparison i am such a .... bulldozer.
Problem: Delinquent child
Solution: Smother him with love.
Problem: Immoral society
Solution: Surround the people with bible teachings.
Issue: Casino
My argument: Don't argue anymore about economic gains and limiting impact- it simply won't be fruitful and beneficial coz God can't be for it.
Issue: Homosexuality
My argument: Love the homosexual person. As for the act, God says cannot. And that settles it.
Haiz. My lack of shrewdness is apparent. My distaste for strategies and plans is apparent.
Score board for CGs? Welcome-Action Cards??
Shudder...
Managing other people's impression of me? Networking?
Shudder.....
But maybe - just maybe- they can help achieve the goals without desecrating the purity of motives?
Is shrewdness and sincerity mutually exclusive? How much blessing that shrewdness will bring, if coupled with pure love and sincere motives and good intentions!Is that what Jesus meant by being as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves?
Perhaps shrewdness would be to carry that goal in the heart instead of on the lips. Then with the lips and hands, do all that is necessary to attain that goal.
But the goal has got to be from God, and the hands and lips have to be seasoned with love and grace. Otherwise, i'd just be a terrorist or a bigot or a tyrant or something.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
i had a dream
We were on a roof top, waiting for the rain God promised.
The skies were clear, no rain clouds in sight.
Many doubted.
Yet many spoke "words of faith", seeking out clouds in the horizon.
"Those clouds would surely come here. Coz God promised. They're coming. See them drifting here?"
Does it matter if the sky is overcast?
Must we see the rain clouds before we believe?
True enough, a wift of black clouds drifted overhead.
Just a tiny sliver.The rain hasn't fallen.
"There, it's coming now! See, we knew it!"
Does it matter that there is cloud in the sky?
Is any proof required?
Some still doubted.
The rain poured down. In torrents.
It couldn't be from that little sliver of cloud alone.
It had to be more than "just rain".
We ran out, arms stretched out.
Every drop from God. We wanted more.
Stretch your arms! Get it all!
Pour down on me!
Could anyone doubt?
Some still doubted!
"It's just rain! It always rains!"
A Sheet. A Material. White. Muslin.
It floated over us.
It was proof that it was supernatural.
It hovered over me. Corner dipping.
My outstretched hand touched it. My left hand.
Did it? Did it?
I grasped again. I felt it.
I did. God meant it for me.
I grasped it, but only barely.
But i felt it, i touched it.
It was important.
It was more than enough.
I am falling to my knees
Rain down on me
I’m longing just to see
What is the rain? Holy Spirit outpouring?
I searched rain on Biblegateway. 107 results...
Oh Lord, speak to me and make my ears sharp.
Let me hear and understand what you are saying.
Lead me to the right verses, speak to me in that clear voice,
direct my heart and my thoughts.
What is the rain? What of the faith exhibited do you want to teach me? What is the sheet? Why did it dip and why did You allow me to touch?
What do you want me to do Lord?
Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.
The skies were clear, no rain clouds in sight.
Many doubted.
Yet many spoke "words of faith", seeking out clouds in the horizon.
"Those clouds would surely come here. Coz God promised. They're coming. See them drifting here?"
Does it matter if the sky is overcast?
Must we see the rain clouds before we believe?
True enough, a wift of black clouds drifted overhead.
Just a tiny sliver.The rain hasn't fallen.
"There, it's coming now! See, we knew it!"
Does it matter that there is cloud in the sky?
Is any proof required?
Some still doubted.
The rain poured down. In torrents.
It couldn't be from that little sliver of cloud alone.
It had to be more than "just rain".
We ran out, arms stretched out.
Every drop from God. We wanted more.
Stretch your arms! Get it all!
Pour down on me!
Could anyone doubt?
Some still doubted!
"It's just rain! It always rains!"
A Sheet. A Material. White. Muslin.
It floated over us.
It was proof that it was supernatural.
It hovered over me. Corner dipping.
My outstretched hand touched it. My left hand.
Did it? Did it?
I grasped again. I felt it.
I did. God meant it for me.
I grasped it, but only barely.
But i felt it, i touched it.
It was important.
It was more than enough.
-----
Today's worship song...
Rain Down - Planet Shakers
I am falling to my knees
I need You Lord to breathe in me
My prayer is still the same
My heart is calling out Your name
Sweet anointing fill this place
I am found in Your embrace
Rain down on me
Rain down on me
Here in Your presence I am free
Pour down like rain
Come and touch me again
Lord let Your presence fall on me
I’m longing just to see
Your power and Your majesty
Sweet anointing fill this place
Sweet anointing fill this place
I am found in Your embrace
Sweet anointing
Wash me over
Sweet anointing
Wash me over (REPEAT)
-----
What is the rain? Holy Spirit outpouring?
I searched rain on Biblegateway. 107 results...
Oh Lord, speak to me and make my ears sharp.
Let me hear and understand what you are saying.
Lead me to the right verses, speak to me in that clear voice,
direct my heart and my thoughts.
What is the rain? What of the faith exhibited do you want to teach me? What is the sheet? Why did it dip and why did You allow me to touch?
What do you want me to do Lord?
Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.
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