过大礼 day

Today we had the Guo Da Li thingy.
Munch's aunts n uncle came over with the stuff- abalone, oranges, cakes etc etc etc, and ha, it was funny seeing the way daddy and mummy were so gan-cheong about everything. They even invited our relatives over to give them emotional support. hehe. they're very shy when it comes to anything to do with munch's family. so cute.
From a practical point of view, it was an inefficient use of time - preparing the stuff, sending them over, only to have the bulk of it returned, and own our part, learning how much to "return", hosting the guests etc. Yet there is something symbolic and sweet about everything. Much as i sometimes grouch about the amount of work that goes into a Chinese wedding, i must admit it IS meaningful and special when taken in the right spirit.
and i love the way my parents go through all the pains and trouble and effort to make sure they got things "right" for my sake. Heh.. though i tease them about being so excited over it, it really made me feel loved. it is a beautiful thing, that both munch's parents and my parents did not bother haggling over the "bride-price", but were always more concerned with pleasing the other party. and you know that it is so that we the children will not be put in a difficult position.

was reading through the significance of the stuff we've been doing - 提亲，过大礼... and found that the next "ceremony" in line was for me to "retreat into the cock loft".

from http://www.chcp.org/wedding.html

Retreating to the Cock Loft
In preparation for her impending departure, the bride-to-be retreated from the ordinary routine and lived in seclusion in a separate part of the house with her closest friends. During this period, the young women sang laments, mourning the bride’s separation from her family and cursing the go-between –; as well as the groom’s family and even the girl’s own parents. Since this extended ‘sleep over’ often took place in the cock loft, the bride’s emergence on her wedding day was sometimes referred to as "coming out of the cock loft."

HAiz. Actually i really feel a bit sad about leaving home. =( i love my daddy and my mummy and my kor kor and khian.
Daddy is my superman. I learnt the alphabets, spelling and times-table bouncing rythmatically on his tummy. he is the Champion Lizard-Cockroach-Any-Monster Buster. And he spoils me. =)
And i'll always ALWAYS remember how my mummy sacrifices her lifestye for the family. After a hard day of work, she rushed home straight after work, daily without fail, just to cook for us. She never took the easy way out of eating out, but makes sure the family gets our daily nutritious 菜鱼饭. And she did that faithfully till we all grew up and started staying out late and refused to come home for dinner. How to find a mother like that?
and my kor was my fav playmate. he defended me, bought xiao-ding-dang for me when i was punished, fought with others for me, played silly games with me =) =) went travelling with me... heee, he was my hero. he never hit me, never bullied me, and i think through our whole lives we probably quarrelled a grand total of 2 times.
my DiDi khian... such a dear. when he was a toddler, he crawled to me, lay a pillow on me and fell asleep on me so endearingly that i didn't want to wake him up despite my full bladder. Went through a weird and irritating stage when he was in primary school, but now, all grown up and thoughtful and cute and charming and funny and smart and polite. he's nice to talk to, and extremely lame at times, yet so sensible and endearing!
such a wonderful family. love them love them love them.

always took for granted that i'd be staying with them forever, now it's like a sudden, strange realization that time didn't stand still but actually moved! Can't believe that in 2 weeks' time i wouldn't be staying home anymore. can't imagine staying without them.
i think i will have separation anxiety...
i think i really need to retreat into the cock loft to mourn...
='(
except i won't be "cursing", but blessing them. For all the love that is in the family, for the committment every single one showed to the family. For the joy at every family dinner. For every beautiful memory - mooncake festivals at the rooftop, playing in the rain together, eating the warm pot of rice at the beach.
God, everything is so beautiful now... can time just stand still, so i can have both? the hope of a future with munch, and the pleasure and joy of enjoying my dearest family?

Wong

Countdown sez 14 days - that's 2 weeks later today!!!

Was sitting at the bus stop thinking about the word "Wong" (met munch's students at kovan and they called me mrs wong...?!?!?!?)

i decided it's a good surname, coz there are many Wongs that i like.
Wong Kaiyun, Wang Tiak Kweng (ok, officially not really a Wong) and of coz, Wong Mun Chung.

then i decided it's a funny word tho.
wong.
WONG.

really. concentrate on it, let it fill your mind.
it's a weird word rite!
juz like how sarah feels "cloud" is a weird word....

wong wong wong

morning already?

spent the night in tears. heart refined, sure of my burden and calling? i suppose. more so.

when i think about what i hoped to achieve for God, and failed, i feel sad.
but when i remember it's not the end, when i think about what God can achieve despite me, i feel glad.

i don't like learning difficult things, but it must be done. i don't enjoy persevering, but it must complete its work in me so that i can be mature and complete.

so learn i will, grow i shall.
and when i return, strengthened, i will run faster, jump higher.

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

isaiah 40:28-31

update 12:55 pm

crawled back upstairs, and God told me, not just isaiah 40:28-31. but Isaiah 40.

almost laughed thru the tears...

Comfort for God's People

Comfort, comfort my people,

says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,

and proclaim to her

that her hard service has been completed,

that her sin has been paid for,

that she has received from the LORD's hand

double for all her sins.

Her hard service has been completed?

hehe... amen to that. suddenly it matters that it is already morning.

and it's a hazeless morning. somehow that matters too.

has this season finally come to a close?

Somehow, these verses feel like a temporary "well-done-good-n-faithful".

somehow i feel a strange new life, like the burdens are lifted.

somehow there's a funny joy in my heart.

haha.

i feel like being an usher, i wanna be a happy cheery usher. welcome everybody into the church, hand out bulletins, smile.

i feel like playing the keyboard (but it's been moved to serangoon =( ), i wanna practise hard and re-learn, and i've never forgotten my life theme... "i was made to praise you, i was made to glorify your name....i was made for you".simple, unsophisticated, ungrand, but mine. i wanna sing my heart out on the keyboard, unlimited by my vocal range or lung stamina, or english vocab.

i feel like bugging uncle chua to start alpha!

i feel like loving everybody slowly and fully.

i feel joy.

i feel shiny happy.

i hope i'm not just mad from lack of sleep.

look out of the window, tell me it's a brand new hazeless morning.