the sweetest of all!

how can it be, that just after i cry out to you for personal words, you amplify your voice to me and made sure i hear your voice thru so many different channels? C echoed my exact sentiments on friday during cg, and during prayer time, p somehow prayed an exact phrase that i said to you earlier...
haha, if i didn't know better, i would have thought THEY peeped into my heart, or eavesdropped on my prayers. But i know better, lord. and i know it is YOU who saw my heart, heard my heart, and was speaking to my heart.
You know how much it matters to me. and you let me have it. =) you didn't have to indulge me, but you did. thanks.
And how can it be, that just after i cry out to you for a personal moment with you, you gave me my fireside moments with you on saturday? and today during worship and sermon? you brought me close to your heart again, and everything fell into place again. nothing looked too hard, or too tiring, or too big. because you showed me again today who i am, who you are, and who i belong to.
wow... you didn't have to, but you did. you need not have indulged me. even if you hadn't, i WOULD still always be your servant, i WOULD still always be your child, i WOULD still honour and revere and worship you. But you stooped to deal with my needs, you bothered enough to care about my desire to be intimate with you, you bothered to speak thru ppl to let me know you hear me.
Ha.... with such sweet attentive love, how can i help but feel special ;) how can i help but feel especially loved?

[NOTE TO OTHER HUMANS: Dun worry, God's not finite like us. I may be His favourite, but somehow, so can you.]

When my world was in darkness,

you spoke your word,

night turned into day,

your beauty filled this place

When my world stood in silence,

you filled my heart

with songs that never end,

forever i will praise...

to think that the universe could not withold your glory,

but you chose to live in me... i'm so amazed!

and i worship you lord

my life in you restored

here is my heart

make it your sanctuary

for nobody else

but jesus only you!

********************************************************************************************************************************

love sick... Is it time for fire-side chairs yet?

Lost in you alone,

Is where i wanna be

To feel you near.

Softly in my ear,

You whisper words to me,

That i am yours..

Can't live a day without your presence,

closer to you i wanna be.

my heart cries out for more of you my lord,

my portion and hope

i close my eyes and feel you near,

there's nobody else who can take your place in my heart.

I can't sing to you now coz of my throat, but can you hear the song in my heart?
i miss you... i miss intimacy with you.

When i was afraid, i used to run to you. to hide, to cry, to vent. then you would show me yourself, and when i see your faithfulness, i knew i could go on.
When i was discouraged and weak, i ran to you. to complain, to "teh", sometimes throw tantrums... then you would show me visions, give me dreams, hopes. Sometimes your words of love would just send me into seventh heaven and i couldn't care less if the world sucked big time. you were enough.

it looked as if those were tough times, but when i had you near, everything was ok deep inside.

How long has it been since i last felt afraid? has it been so long that i mistakenly think i am strong enough on my own?
And have i grown so used to bearing burdens on my shoulders that they no longer send me scurrying to your arms? Have i learnt to toughen my shoulders so much that my heart has hardened as well?

Don't ever let it happen Lord! i want to grow to be a better servant and child. i want to be someone you can trust with your work and your church and your people. i want to be more effective in helping my students get your Best Blessing, i want to be able to make a great impact in the children's lives, and their families. i want to be able to lead the Kidz leaders with consistency and be dependable. i want to be able to cope with the uncertainties, and not have thoughts of giving up when discouraged. i want to be so in tune with you and your plans and be able to encourage the team and inspire them to live for you.

i am working on these lord... and i know you are molding me, refining, teaching me. and i am thankful.

but most of ALL.
MOST of ALL.
MOSTEST MOSTEST of ALL...

i simply need you.

i just want to sit with you, and have you tell me non-ministry things again. like i am your woman. make the verses come alive again by speaking them to me personally. make me smile the whole night n feel so much joy that i can't sleep.

i can't help needing you jesus. i was made for you.

can we have the turtle-dove, fireside chair season again soon?

Please?

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

22.08.2005!!

Hey! Just realized it was a year ago today!

pic with the flowers/flowers-in-law/associate flower.

He booked a chalet and asked me over to cook.
(me: huh?! Monday leh! Why you book a chalet?!)
So after buying some stuff, i went, and he has decorated the chalet with banners, tea lights and flower petals strewn around.
I was given strict orders not to go anywhere, but just stay in the kitchen and cook.
After a long-long-long-long while, it finally started. (he couldn't start earlier coz he was waiting for edwin to bring the extension wires)

First, he brought me to the living room (yeah, the BIG aloha chalet). On the petal-strewn table was a Home Decor magazine. Then he brought me up the stairs... the stairs was done up like some spa resort! Rose petals along the way, lighted up with tea lights in glass holders...

In the first room upstairs, there was a Bridal MAgazine on the bed, amidst the rose petals. And he said, "There's still one more room!"

We went to the last room... this time it was filled with pink balloons!
On the bed, were a HUGE bouquet of flowers (99 roses), another book (Before You Say I Do), and a BOX.


He went to the window and opened the curtains to reveal....
Flickering lights spelling out the words

"WILL YOU MARRY [his pic]"


Munch: OK, now you can open the box.

i opened the box and found.... NOTHING.

Munch: Haha, tricked you!

i rolled my eyes.

Then he went to behind the door where he made a pulley system. There was a little basket at the top corner of the room and with the pulley system, he drew the basket down and presented THE RING.

Then he got down on his knees, and popped THE QUESTION.

i told him i'd think about it. ;)

after saying yes, we went back down to cook again. I noticed the front door was open and went to close it....

but as i was nearing the door, streams of people started coming in! CG friends, church friends, st nicks frens, jc frens, long-lost fren... there was like close to 50 ppl!!

hehe,
so we had a party! =)

it was so fun. =) So sweet and well-planned, so much effort. And i was amazed that even though so many ppl were involved, NO ONE gave it away! (except for munch himself... not his fault tho...i just know him too well... )

And now, one year has passed!
81 Days to go before i become Mrs Wong!

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